To think my 16-month old should be able to sleep past 5am?

[UpToMyElbowsInDiapers]

It’s certainly my mother’s opinion, haha! But in fairness, my older DD usually slept until 7:15 at that age and she’s my only frame of reference.

Any tips for getting my 16-month-old DS to sleep past 5am?

Some extra info that may be relevant for those who want to know more:

• Bedtime is reliably 7:45pm
• We’ve tried moving bedtime for a few nights as early as 7:15 and as late as 9. No difference
• He’s been “transitioning” from 2 to 1 naps for the past 4 months. Total nap time during the day is 1-2 hours
• He’s highly active. He spends 2-4 hours playing outside every day, and even when he’s inside he’s usually running lengths up and down the house, as toddlers do!
• Screen time is limited to 20 minutes of Caillou with his big sister after dinner
• He has a decent curtain in his room. There are traces of light at 5/5:30 but his room is by no means bright (and now days are getting shorter)
• Rocking him back to sleep, cry-it-out with checks every 7 minutes, and bringing him into our bed at 5am, each tried consistently for at least 4 days each, have all failed

What am I doing wrong, please?! Is there any hope or am I just expecting too much of him? His big sister used to sleep until 7:15 at his age so that’s my only frame of reference.

Thanks!

I dont think there is much you can do at 16 months to determine when they wake up. For context I have a 3 year old that woke up at 5:30 every morning until about 2weeks ago. And an 20 month old that has always woke up at 8am the earliest. They both have always had the same bedtimes and routines. I think it all depends on the child.

The only thing we noticed made a slight different when our 3 year old was younger was making sure the room stayed dark, by using blackout blinds or similar and ensuring they are a good amount at their last meal.

The only time my 20 month old wakes up earlier is if her nappy is full, could it be that? x

I read that you have to bring bedtime forward for a week to see change.
We also have blackout gro curtains up. So it's as dark at 5am as it is at midnight.

We have white noise playing through the night. The app keeps crashing at 5am and those are the days he wakes up!

You are not doing anything wrong. Sleep varies even in the same family's. My eldest was a dream baby, slept 12hours from very young and as a toddler slept untill 10am. My youngest was horrendous, woke every hour as a baby and as a toddler woke every day at 4am. Same family, same routine but very different sleep needs. I'm sure someone will come along boasting about how amazing their parenting was and how well theirs slept but the reality is babies follow their own pattern regardless, mine certainly did. My youngest is now 12 and now sleeps 12_14 hours which proves they certainly outgrow it when they are ready.

I hate to say that my 2 year old still wakes up around 5.30am each morning, regardless of what time he goes to bed, how he naps, how dark his room is etc etc. I think some kids are just early risers!

Have you tried putting him on the potty in the middle of the night?

I ECed my daughter, and still take her to the toilet when I go to bed (she's 9 now), and if she doesn't go in the middle of the night, she wakes up significantly earlier than normal and can't go back to sleep.

So it's needing the toilet that wakes her, and then by that stage of the night her sleep drive is too low to go back to bed.

She normally wakes up between 8-9am, but once I didn't take her to the toilet in the night as she was in a top bunk, and she woke up at 4am for the day then.

Get used to it

My 7 year old still wakes between 6-6:15am. No matter how late the night before is. Age progresses naturally from 5am to 6am of her own accord by about 4.5 years old. Nothing I did worked so I just got on with it. Sorry.

She progressed

• not age progresses

Dd1 slept through to past 8am (bedtime 8.30) from 8 weeks old. She liked a lie in from as young as 5 or 6.
Dd2 slept till 7.30 from a 9pm bedtime from about 18 months. (any earlier and she woke for the say at 2am). She started liking lie ins about 10yo.
Ds was up by 7am whatever time he went to bed unless he was ill until about 6 weeks ago. He's 13yo.

It's the child not the method.

I think there’s no “should” about it! You can’t really control this, it’s luck of the draw.

Ywnbu for wishing he’d sleep later though!

I tried many things to get my dc to sleep later, nothing worked. They just woke at 5.30am regardless.

We managed by taking turns getting up to snooze on the sofa while they played.

It got better as they got older.

I would bring bedtime forward again as this is often caused by being overtired. My 15 month old wakes around 6.30-7am. Has a 2.5 hour nap at lunch and is in bed again at around 18.15. Sleep consultants are very popular where I am and the first thing they always say is to make bedtime earlier.

You sound like you’re doing very similar things to me with my 16m old who generally does 7.15 to 6.45-7. The only thing I can think of is does he have a cuddly toy? I’ve seen mine on the monitor giving it a cuddle to get herself back to sleep.

Some children are unfortunately early wakers. Neither of mine have been but my nephew was a 5am riser until he was about 9. His sister was the opposite and nothing my sister could do could get him to lie-in. Even as a teenager his lie-ins are shorter than his sister’s and he’s much more likely to get up early than stay up late if he needs to get something done.

Some off us are born larks, and some of us are born owls. You can try and fight it but in small children I think it’s a losing battle.

My eldest did this until he had been at school for a few weeks (despite full time nursery prior) . He then slept till nearer 6 for the whole of primary.... Except for like 5 times he slept till nearly 7.
Nothing we tried helped...
I wish you luck

OP I feel your pain. I have three children and totally agree with those who say it's just the individual child and nothing much you can do. We were up at five to five yesterday with 17 month old DD and I just stuck peppa on the telly and made myself tea and flung myself onto the couch and let her wreck the place. DH had the joy of getting up this morning with her so luckily we take turns and we do joke about it and we do know this phase will pass.

Thanks for the encouragement! DH and i are indeed taking the mornings in turns, which definitely lightens the load. I’ll try to double down on the shift to one nap, but otherwise wait for him to grow out of this. Sigh...

What time does he take his nap(s)?