To think working from home as a temporary measure should be an option before changing my child's nursery?

[LellyGreen]

This is quite a specific situation and I tried changing details so no one involved would recognise but I want absolute clarity so I'm just writing as is and will just state this post is with no malice just coming from me genuinely not understanding my options and being concerned.

I've been on maternity leave for a year, I returned last week. Im currently unable to work from home and I share an office with 1 other person, we are in a job share. My working days were supposed to be Thursday and Friday, however whilst I have been off my colleague has been working Wednesday. Thursday and Friday so ideally they wanted me to return on Mondays and Tuesdays.

My child has a place reserved in a nursery that currently can't accept due to operating a staggered return of existing pupils before accepting new ones. They have advised they should be able to take him in January. Until then we aren't using childcare, and I managed to get my partner to swap his days off to Tuesday and Wednesday and I just work on his days off. I couldn't switch to Mon/Tues because he can't have Monday's off. But I tried to do my bit to accommodate the needs of the department.

Due to the size of our office we can't work at the same time, so the Wednesday is the problem. They asked if we could do a rota where our days change to accommodate us both but my partner can't change his days off again leaving me only able to work on tues/Weds. I felt guilty a few weeks ago and said I'll look into alternate childcare if it's my only option and they have now asked me to do this. My partner isn't happy and has pointed out I've already changed what I can to fit around them, and that the nursery we had chosen we had chosen for so many reasons, there isn't another like it nearby and we'd have to look at childminders which isn't something we feel would be a good fit for us.

I just feel stuck. They've said working from home will only be an option if we've looked into absolutely everything else first as there's extra costs associated with it. I understand this but this is a temporary situation, until January, during a global pandemic. A time where lots of us need extra flexibility. My child will be in this nursery for nearly 4 years. I don't want to put them somewhere and then change it in January, I don't have family nearby to look after him, I just need flexibility until January or to be allowed to work the shifts I was originally supposed to work. I've been thinking about offering to only work 1 day a week rather than 2 and lose half my pay because I just don't know what to do but I feel like I always offer to put myself out in situations rather than upsetting people but I have a family to provide for. If I offer to front the extra costs for working from home could this be a possibility? It's 1 day a week until January. It's literally 21 shifts.
What can I do?

A couple of things spring out at me here. Your partner is looking at it the wrong way round - he thinks you’ve made enough concessions to your employer. But your employer is paying you to do the job they need you to do! Your childcare arrangements aren’t, with even the most flexible and understanding employers, their responsibility. It sounds like they’re trying to offer solutions but they have to have the needs of the business as their primary concern.

Secondly, it sounds from your post that you’re more concerned about upsetting your DP than your employer - which, if you need your income, is worth thinking about. He should be supportive and helping you find a way to make this work, not being obstinate.

Thirdly, they aren’t saying a flat ‘no’ to home working. If you’ve genuinely exhausted all possibilities (friends, family, other childcare providers) then you can still go back to them and tell them that. It should be easier for them to agree to if it’s for a limited time, till January (though in fact if there are setup costs, as you’ve suggested, that might be a bit off putt ing if they won’t get the investment back). It sounds like this is still an option ultimately.

@AdoptAdaptImprove

A couple of things spring out at me here. Your partner is looking at it the wrong way round - he thinks you’ve made enough concessions to your employer. But your employer is paying you to do the job they need you to do! Your childcare arrangements aren’t, with even the most flexible and understanding employers, their responsibility. It sounds like they’re trying to offer solutions but they have to have the needs of the business as their primary concern.

Secondly, it sounds from your post that you’re more concerned about upsetting your DP than your employer - which, if you need your income, is worth thinking about. He should be supportive and helping you find a way to make this work, not being obstinate.

Thirdly, they aren’t saying a flat ‘no’ to home working. If you’ve genuinely exhausted all possibilities (friends, family, other childcare providers) then you can still go back to them and tell them that. It should be easier for them to agree to if it’s for a limited time, till January (though in fact if there are setup costs, as you’ve suggested, that might be a bit off putt ing if they won’t get the investment back). It sounds like this is still an option ultimately.

Thank you for your response. I'm not worried about upsetting him, he's just unable to provide any more flexibility. I have already changed my working days, and his working days to try and fit in better. He doesn't want to have to change our child's childcare for the next few years based on a temporary issue and I do agree. That is the nursery we want him to go to and it's a difficult position to be put in feeling like I need to totally change that for the sake of 21 shifts. I'm happy to look into other options or home work for this time, I'm just wondering whether changing my childcare is something that can be expected as a 'reasonable adjustment'

Have you tried talking to the nursery to see if they will take your baby earlier? I’m sure they don’t want to lose any children in the current climate
Also, what can’t the other person change the days they work? They have already done it to cover when you were on maternity leave.

Can you afford to take unpaid leave until January - your company can then keep the maternity cover person on for a few more months (or be able to offer a decent length temp arrangement if they need to re--hire)

If they haven't taken anyone else on, who had been doing your role? If it has been subsumed into someone else's role and outputs unaffected, is this role secure anyhow? Are there other similar ranked/paid roles in the organisation which you could do on 0.4 FTE? Should you be angling for one, and do it on the days you want to work?

Can you between you afford a nanny to cover the shortish period until the nursery can take DC?

Have you taken a full years maternity? If not, can you use KIT days to do Tuesdays only for 10 weeks?
Could you do Tuesday and every other Wednesday in the office, plus one day alternative weeks from home? Or you and DH take one day each a month of leave to cover that changing day?

I think you need to work with your employer. The person doing the other 3 days a week maybe struggling with changing their days too, for any number of reasons.

Why can’t the other person change?

Talk to your job-share person and your employer. I presume you had already agreed your days with them, so they are the ones messing you about. Why can't your job share person change days?

It's a bit more complex because they seem to have changed your days, and so I think the first port of call is to investigate whether you have any recourse/right to insist you work your original days, since that would seem to solve your problem.

However, if you don't... They're within their rights to to insist that you do your job and that you have childcare in place for that. Working from home isn't really a solution as it still leaves Monday uncovered. Ultimately, if you don't have childcare and so can't do your job they don't have to keep employing you. Having a promise of childcare in January is not having childcare.

I also think you're fixating too much on this nursery - he hasn't actually been yet, so you only have quite a vague sense of what it'll be like, there's only so much you can get from visits and prospectuses. There will be other good childcare options and it isn't reasonable to refuse to consider them.