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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Toxic ex

4 replies

scotsllb · 03/08/2020 00:34

I've moved house and not told my abusive ex.
He has become dependent on drugs and rarely sees our ds who is 3 next month.
He has sporadic supervised contact due to him being off his face and only clean for short periods and I ended all contact completely as it's too draining and no benefit to my son.
This has been going on since my son was born and he has had plenty opportunities to sort himself out and chosen not to.
I moved out the area as his family are also toxic and don't bother to have any relationship with my ds and I was fed up with him banging on my door out his face etc.
I didnt tell him where I moved to as I don't want him showing up and I also haven't even heard from him in nearly 3 months. I just want to get on with our lives and shield my son.
Today my Aunty called to say he was at her door demanding to know if I had moved and where to and what should she do.
She knows the story and what he has done etc and I told her to tell him she knows nothing and phone the police if he won't go.
She said she will absolutely not do that and will invite him in for a cup of tea and hung up.
I had to wait nearly an hour for her to call back and when she did she said she had him in for 2 cups of coffee and could I possibly think about facilitating contact with my son for him.
That she feels sorry for him and he has promised he will be free of drugs and desperately misses his son and was basically making out I'm wrong for not giving him a chance and I'm being hard on him.
She knows the hell we have been through and I did not take the decision to move lightly.
AIBU to feel like she has undermined me and that she should have respected what I said and not make me explain that he was lying to her?
She said he wasn't lying and acting as if I was just being silly

OP posts:
TulipsandDa1s1es · 03/08/2020 02:25

she has completely undermined you. its your relationship with the father of your child. your choices and your decisions. you sound like you have your childs safety at heart and if she doesnt then i wouldnt be giving her your address / having contact with her.

oo0Tinkerbell0oo · 03/08/2020 03:26

It's not her place to give your ex your address. I wouldn't be letting him near his dc with promises of getting clean...if serious do something about it first then we can talk about contact.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/08/2020 03:53

Your Aunt is a total fucking arsehole and I would never speak to her again. How dare she put you and your son at risk like this?!

scotsllb · 03/08/2020 10:06

She swore she never told him where I moved to but sat and chatted to him about how sad he was and gave him 2 cups of coffee as if he's some friend and regular nice guy!
I said maybe save your sympathy for his son who has to miss out due to his scummy behaviour instead of him.
I'm just so annoyed she didn't just tell him to go away instead like I said instead of having him in like some nice guest.

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