To feel a little jealous/upset

[Ginfor2]

I had a baby 6 months ago, 5 weeks before lockdown.
I was diagnosed with post natal anxiety and OCD and have really suffered.

I have only told my two very close friends, husband and mum about my diagnosis.

My brothers girlfriend had their second baby 12 weeks ago.
We get on well, but in all honesty I take her with a pinch of salt as she's what I'd describe as very "up and down".

She's quite well known for posting a lot about how she's feeling on social media.
Even before their 2nd baby was born she'd post status updates saying things like "had enough" "I'm such a shit mum" "what's the point anymore"

She has over 1500 friends on Facebook and always gets 100's of responses to her updates, saying how great she is, how well she is doing etc, and sometimes I can't help but think she posts just for the attention.

Since their 2nd baby has been born these updates have become even more of a regular occurrence.

I've had several conversations with her as I myself am struggling and I know what it feels like, (even though Ive never told her) but each time, she tells me that she's fine and she's just had "one of those days".
I've suggested she speak to her HV/GP but she says she doesn't feel like she needs to.

Well tonight she's posted another one of her social media statuses, and since the update I've had text messages from two separate mutual friends asking me if she's okay and telling me to keep an eye on her as they're worried.

One of the mutual friends then set up a group chat with a few of SIL other friends and some of our family members.
She has asked us all to chip in to get her some flowers delivered to help her through this tough time.

Without sounding self centred I couldn't help but feel upset that absolutely neither of these girls have recognised how bad I've felt, but worse, they haven't even taken the time to ask how I am.
I would love someone else to talk to and say out loud how I'm feeling, but I've been too scared to say anything as I also don't want to burden anyone with my problems, hence I've only told a few people.

I can't decide if I feel in a strange way, jealous of SIL or just annoyed at our mutual friends for not recognising I'm suffering or asking how I am and potentially inviting me to open up to them.

I know the girls aren't mind readers and unless I tell them, they aren't to know how I feel.
But I'm not the kind of person to post on social media so unless they ask how I am they aren't going to find out.

I don't know, I think I'd just love to have some flowers right now and for people to recognise I'm not ok.

I can understand that you feel a little envious or what about me , over the attention your SIL is getting.

Its a weird situation. She is being attention seeking and probably feeds off the attention. But it's not real support. Flowers are lovely but they don't give real help. Likes and comments on Facebook are also shallow. All someone is giving as a nano second of their time to respond , then they move on to their real life.

I think it's actually detrimental as your SIL will be craving more likes and comments and probably setting a goal of what is acceptable amount of responses.

Know one has that many friends so it's all false.

The group chat isn't doing anything that productive. Its a smoke screen. Has your friend been round to hers and sat with her. Talked in RL. Doubt it.

See through the smoke and lights. It's very hard to sometimes.

Just come off social media. Then you’ll be unaware and free of all that toxic crap.

When people ask you why you’ve left you can tell them how you’ve been feeling and it will open up that conversation with people you may wish to discuss it with (ie your real friends who have your phone number and will make the time to contact you).

I would concur with Leafy that the people who like to post drama online and get everyone worried are generally fine in real life. Some people just like to feel famous. She may feel like a rubbish mum, and maybe she is for documenting how awful her child’s first months are all over social media. She should have some respect for her child.

OP, Social media is ''addictive'' for many people.
We came off Farcebook and it is much, much better.

Tiresome statuses, and you know what? One real life friend is worth more than hundreds of virtual ones.

I had a Farcebook 'friend' who used to post these open ended statements

''So down''

''Upset''

or just a black square.

It is an easy way to get validation from others?