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Original poster

Gender reveal

26 replies

HearingMyOwnVoice · 02/08/2020 18:58

I saw a video of an acquaintances gender reveal today. She has an older son and three daughters. The paper gun thing went off to reveal she was expecting another girl. Everyone groaned.
I know this is one of those things that is completely divisive and I'm completely for anyone's choice to be respected.
I have two children of the same gender who are close together in age. We had another five years ago. We didn't find out the sex. I'd assumed that they would be the same as their siblings. They weren't. We were happy but not because they were a different sex to their siblings. I struggled a bit at first tbh as I was expecting the opposite.
Anyway to get to my point part of my reason for not finding out was seeing kids end up so sad at gender reveals when it wasn't what they wanted. I reasoned that when the baby arrived and they met him/her that they would be so caught up in excitement that they wouldn't really care what the baby was.
Is the chance to find out the gender worth the upset and disappointment that some kids feel for months after they find out?
Completely expecting to be flamed for this but I'm genuinely intrigued by it.

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 02/08/2020 18:59

YABU. The kids will get over it and they won’t even remember it.

Ohtherewearethen · 02/08/2020 19:07

I don't particularly like gender reveals as I find it all a bit silly, attention-seeking and pointless but to be honest, the other children just have to suck it up. They can't control it and they can't send it back so there's not really anything that can be done about it. Maybe it's better that they know before the baby arrives so they have time to get used to it rather than taking any disappointment out on the baby. Ultimately though they will probably end up loving their bed sibling eventually.

Original poster
HearingMyOwnVoice · 02/08/2020 19:07

@heartsonacake

YABU. The kids will get over it and they won’t even remember it.
They videoed it. Will that not be rolled out on occasion?
OP posts:
Regulus · 02/08/2020 19:09

Surely it is a sex reveal?

heartsonacake · 02/08/2020 19:15

They videoed it. Will that not be rolled out on occasion?

Okay, so they videoed it. When the upset child watches that a year/five years/ten years down the line they’re going to laugh at themselves for being upset and most likely say they don’t remember feeling upset, because that feeling is temporary.

Parents need to help children manage their feelings and emotions, not avoid situations because they might be upset for a bit.

Original poster
HearingMyOwnVoice · 02/08/2020 19:19

@Ohtherewearethen

I don't particularly like gender reveals as I find it all a bit silly, attention-seeking and pointless but to be honest, the other children just have to suck it up. They can't control it and they can't send it back so there's not really anything that can be done about it. Maybe it's better that they know before the baby arrives so they have time to get used to it rather than taking any disappointment out on the baby. Ultimately though they will probably end up loving their bed sibling eventually.
Good point about giving them time to get used to it. Do you think that if they find out at the time it takes longer to bond?
OP posts:
Original poster
HearingMyOwnVoice · 02/08/2020 19:20

@Regulus

Surely it is a sex reveal?
I knew I would get it wrong. I'm trying.
OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 02/08/2020 19:21

I honestly don’t get the point of these gender reveal parties.
They sound like more trouble than they’re worth.
Imagine when that little girl grows up a bit and sees this video and hears the groaning. How will she feel?

Lelophants · 02/08/2020 19:21

I find it weird the kids are made to get so invested in it. Gender reveals are so ott anyway that if children are involved I'd rather tell them without a big crowd and build up or let them know when the baby's born.

Lelophants · 02/08/2020 19:22

Basically if you have any real preference you really shouldn't be doing a gender reveal.

Lelophants · 02/08/2020 19:27

When I was a kid my baby sibling was the opposite to what I expected/wanted. My parents always said it could be either way and showed no preference. I found out the day they were born. It was so damn exciting. Was I upset? no way!

Same with my own child. I found not knowing until they were born was better as when you have a baby, how on earth can you feel disappointed? (Not that I cared anyway but I can imagine maybe for future kids)

GlummyMcGlummerson · 02/08/2020 19:40

These parties are grotesquely narcissistic and the people who groan are the lowest of the low. Because it's always a groan at a girl reveal - there's a weird belief that every man must have his mini-me and a daughter is a slight on his masculinity. FFS even female foetuses are victims of sexism Sad

Kaiserin · 02/08/2020 19:44

Gender (sex) reveal... It's something we've recently imported from the States, isn't it? Fairly sure it wasn't yet a thing when I had my 2 DCs about 8 years ago.
(I used to read all the free mum magazines, advertising their NCT crap and belly casts and whatnot, so I would have noticed...)

... Sounds mostly like a new way to sell more (pink or blue) useless tat to expectant parents, no?

DeathOrGlory · 02/08/2020 19:46

Wait.. Everyone groaned? No matter what your feelings are about sex reveals... who would be rude enough to actually groan at the outcome???

Littlemeadow123 · 02/08/2020 19:55

Everyone groaned when they found out it was a girl?! Seriously? Imagine if the poor thing gains access to that when she is older.

People in their situation are pathetic to be disappointed about the sex of the baby. They have five healthy kids. They are very lucky.

CrazyToast · 02/08/2020 20:09

@Regulus Yep it's a sex reveal, kid could adopt any gender role it wants! It annoys me loads that people use these interchangebly!

However, I guess 'sex reveal' sounds a bit dubious. 'I'm having a sex reveal party, will you come....' Grin Wink

GoshHashana · 02/08/2020 20:12

There's way too much emphasis on the sex of kids nowadays. It's just weird. Children and children.

GoshHashana · 02/08/2020 20:12

*are

Regulus · 02/08/2020 20:57

[quote CrazyToast]@Regulus Yep it's a sex reveal, kid could adopt any gender role it wants! It annoys me loads that people use these interchangebly!

However, I guess 'sex reveal' sounds a bit dubious. 'I'm having a sex reveal party, will you come....' Grin Wink[/quote]
In a crazy world that still made me smile. 'Will you come?' Grin

Anonincase · 02/08/2020 22:03

I went to one of these against my better judgment pre-lockdown. I knew my friend wanted a girl, they have one young ds. It was video'd and there was a professional photographer. The tension when it was revealed it was another boy was horrendous. Her face was like thunder and the only words she could muster for the next hour was oh, well. Her mother, sister and SIL also made very disgruntled remarks about what a shame it was and now they'd have to have a 3rd and what a financial burden that would be. Truly terrible.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/08/2020 22:08

They're attention seeking nonsense. Nobody cares what sex you're having, why would they? It matters only to you.

Purpletigers · 02/08/2020 22:08

I can’t believe these are actually a thing tbh . Can people not wait 9 months nowadays? I don’t know anyone who has ever had one . I most definitely wouldn’t attend one.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/08/2020 22:09

@Anonincase

I went to one of these against my better judgment pre-lockdown. I knew my friend wanted a girl, they have one young ds. It was video'd and there was a professional photographer. The tension when it was revealed it was another boy was horrendous. Her face was like thunder and the only words she could muster for the next hour was oh, well. Her mother, sister and SIL also made very disgruntled remarks about what a shame it was and now they'd have to have a 3rd and what a financial burden that would be. Truly terrible.
Why would you put on a shitshow like that in public? Shock
DaffodilThatch · 02/08/2020 22:15

@Anonincase that's horrendous. Why one earth would you have one of these 'parties' if you had a strong preference!

Leaannb · 02/08/2020 22:24

@Kaiserin

Gender (sex) reveal... It's something we've recently imported from the States, isn't it? Fairly sure it wasn't yet a thing when I had my 2 DCs about 8 years ago. (I used to read all the free mum magazines, advertising their NCT crap and belly casts and whatnot, so I would have noticed...)

... Sounds mostly like a new way to sell more (pink or blue) useless tat to expectant parents, no?

The very first gender reveal I was invited to was in NewMarket in 1999. They were not Americans
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