To come off Nexplanon and ask dh to consider snip?

[juliantwo]

I have been on nexplanon for 9 years, with a gap to conceive ds2 who is 6. Always been ok with it, had random spotting which I can live with. However lately I've noticed that I get horrible headaches, they last a day or so, won't shift with painkillers and then the next day the spotting starts....

I've scared myself reading about headaches as a side effect and some links with blindness...!

I feel that our family is complete now, I have been on hormonal contraceptives for over half my life now (am 36) and I would like dh to get snip. He has always kind of shrugged it off in a jokey way but I think I do want to have a serious convo about it. Either that or use condoms which he won't like.

Am also wondering how easy it would be to get appt to remove implant atm.

I did put this in health but no replies

You can ask him but he may say no. You could still come off nexplanon and then you would need to decide between you what contraception would be used next

Of course YANBU. it's a conversation, you're hardly asking to do a DIY job of it on the kitchen table after the news are you!?

There is a huge wait just to added to the waiting list for the snip where I am, may be the same with you.

But absolutely, it's not your sole responsibility to be responsible for contraception, you've done a long stint and pushed 2 kids out, he can have a turn now.

Is that privately, the waiting list? I have no idea what wait is like here.

NHS are not even allowing people to be put on a waiting list, private is booking 8 weeks ahead for the consultant, not sure how long after that the procedure would be done.

So this conversation didn't go well. He "doesn't like needles" apparently.

Whereas I love them. Loved all those blood tests in pregnancy, the giant one in my spine when I had an emergency c section. And then having to inject myself for weeks afterwards so I didn't get a blood clot. I just lapped them all up.

His body, his choice. Take the implant out and either have sex with condom, the cup, or stop having sex.

He has a right not to want a vasectomy. Maybe he doesn't dare to say that he wouldn't want to be sterile if you were to leave him or something happened to you.

His body, his choice. Just as your body, your choice, and your choice is not to subject your body to any more hormonal contraceptives.

Condoms it is, then.

Oh, he doesn't like condoms? Celibacy it is, then.

He doesn't get to abdicate from contraception. You've done your share, he needs to behave like a responsible adult.

Dp was supposed to get the snip after dc2 but im 100% sure hes chickened out. I have asked him to consider waiting a few years in case we change our minds on a 3rd ( pretty confident we wont, but just in case) but if he told me hed booked himself in or wasn't going to do it, thats fine. Same as i wouldnt expect him to have an opinion on my contraception choices. Ive made it clear i wont be going back on any form of contraception, i had years of migraines, weight gain and heightened anxiety and i wont do it again. So its condoms or risk a third pregnancy as it stands🙄

My husband had it done. He saw how contraception didn't agree with me. Hated using condoms and just went and got it done. It's less invasive for men to get the snip than women to be sterilised.

You're not unreasonable to want the implant out - I had it before and hated it! Your husband is also not unreasonable at all for not wanting to have surgery.
However, it does seem that condoms are probably your only answer in this case.

you cant 'force' someone to have an operation just because its 'their turn' to step up . if the implant doesn't agree with you then get your tubes tied

The fear of needles is a funny one because you don’t see it anyway. After the numbing injection there is no needles from watching Dhs.

Still totally come off your contraception if it’s causing issues though. Condoms or abstinence are acceptable alternatives.

I think he should get the snip, it's precious little compared to what your body has been through! However, you can't force someone. If my partner didn't want one, I'd go back to an IUD.

Would you ever consider a copper coil? I chose it as a compromise between hormonal bc and being able to go condomless with a steady partner when younger. Mine has been no bother and seems to have worked fine- no kids yet. I'm having mine out on monday because it's due to come out. I'm not replacing it because I'm likely to want any replacement out to ttc before it's due out (I'm just 30- it's gotta be sooner rather than later) but would get another.

YANBU at all. My DH has agreed to do this when we're finished our family. I had the implant taken out in June. Had an appt with NHS for removal but it was cancelled. Health insurance doesn't cover it privately so I just paid for it privately myself. Definitely worth it for me - implant did not suit me!

Well if he doesn’t want it that’s fine, but then your options are condoms or abstinence.

Definitely you should come off hormonal contraceptives if you want to.

So condoms it is. Just tell him, 'You don't like needles, I have to get one to get this thing out.' And leave the condom buying to him, don't organise that, too. No condom, no sex. Solved. People will tell you to get the copper coil, more foreign objects shoved up your chuff and heavier periods to enable him to keep squirting away. Nope. 'I'm getting this out. You need to buy condoms'.

I got migraines all the time on nexplanon they prescribed medication and touch wood they are fine now

Just seen your update @juliantwo
Does he have a solution? If he's not that great in the sack I'd not bother to have sex with him again, honestly if he won't even have a mature conversation about it I'd be furious.
Why is it your responsibility?!

After 3 dc my dh agreed to have the snip but kept forgetting to book an appointment, I had the coil removed and after 6 months of condoms he finally went to the doctors and got booked in. He had the procedure and would now recommend it to anyone considering it. It was a bit uncomfortable but worth it to not have to ever think about contraception again.