To think most people get mental health issues

[Chocolateoo]

As they get older? I have always classed myself as happy and living a simple happy family life. I worked from being 16 until I was 25. Had my first child in 2015. Another early 2018. Always had energy. Never got post natal depression. I didn't even feel down on day 3 after birth. Although j had night sweats which I didn't like. Loved days out. Loved weekends away. Since 2017 we've had family holidays every year.

At the moment I don't recognise myself. I have gone down hill since the end of winter. I have turned into an anxious mess. I lie awake at night with panic in my chest. With fluttering under my ribs. With a churning tummy. I get worried even going to my parents house for a cuppa. Obviously I haven't done any of that until the last month. I just always feel abit rubbish. I have spoke to my gp and put my name down for some support. But it's a long wait. I've brought a self help book which has massively made sense to me so far. Alot of it sounds like me. I am terrified for September because right now I'm such a wobbly nervous mess I don't know how I'll push myself to do the hour school run twice a day.

Because I've been feeling odd I've opened up to a close friend. I've also got a friend who I've met just once. But we clicked so much and we talk every week. She doesn't live locally so it's an online friendship. She's told me about her health anxiety. My best friend has anxiety and sometimes waves of depression. My partner was on anti depressants last year. All these people seem to cope on the surface but underneath they can't.

Am I wrong in thinking as adults we just become anxious and depressed? I know not everyone is. But it is really common and it's disheartening to think this is life now. I want to be like I used to be again.

No, I don’t think it’s true at all to think that all adults, or the majority, become ‘anxious and depressed’ — but perhaps you’re discounting the psychological effects of C-19, lockdown etc?

It was the opposite for me. Suffered with mh issues in my teens and 20s, and it all disappeared the moment I had my first child.

Had some occasional moments of feelings of anxiety and depression but nothing worrying and only lasting a few days.

We are all different.

No sorry but not all adults become depressed, luckily I've never suffered from this and only known a handful of people that do.

Yeah I do think covid has triggered a lot of worry and anxiety in people for a variety of reasons. It's definitely not helped me. I think even though at first it was nice not having to do school runs and be up early, I think now my mind is missing that structure but it's frozen in fear of getting back to it.

I sometimes think back to January. I was walking 5 miles a day to take my DD to school. I was entertaining my toddler. I was cooking tea after school. We had swimming at the weekends. Now the simplest task leaves me feeling anxious and tired out!

@Chocolateoo I don't think people generally suffer MH issues particularly, as they get older.

Relationships, home, children, work, childcare issues, mortgages etc can all put a strain on us as we get older. When we are younger we don't ordinarily have all of those strains on us one time. As we progress through life we can do. When we are younger we traditionally have less to worry over and focus more on ourselves without the additional responsibility getting older brings.

You have mentioned that you feel you have gone down hill since winter. That is quite a while to feel this way and pre Covid. Maybe an honest chat with your doctor or nurse practitioner at your surgery could be a an opportunity to understand where you are right now and put in place any help to get you back to your old self.

Everyone is a little bit crazy and it hits peaks and troughs. In my experience the craziest people are the ones that don’t realise they’re crazy.

For my part, yes everyone seems to have a little of something going on, even the ones who put on a great display of everything being fine.

I’m feeling shit just now and have done for the last couple of years. This year I was dragging myself out the hole but I’ve slipped further back in. I want to do so many things but can’t motivate myself to do so.

I think hormones have played a huge part throughout my life but now I’m peri menopausal it’s really shite. Been crying for most of the day and I hate everybody

I have always suffered mild depression and anxiety but it has really gone of the scale since I hit menopause and also was bad after the birth of my children so I think likely to be hormonal related. I also think there is possibly a hereditary element, my mum and grandma ( mum's mum) were always nervous and I my mum had significant mental health issues throughout my childhood. Sometimes when I look back over my life though I can see that a lot of it has been life events that have affected mental health- a hugely stressful job being exposed to horrific events on a regular basis with little support, a move to the other side of the world with no support, 4 children in quick succession, 2 with health problems, the deaths of 3 of our parents in quick succession. I think sometimes you just cope for ages because you have to and then at some point when you least expect it, it all catches up with you. This is what I feel has been the case for me anyway, years under huge pressure then when some of the pressure actually lifted I crumbled and needed anti-depressants etc.

It's not a great time right now for so many people. It's really no surprise to react negatively.

I found myself in a real spiral of despair a couple of weeks ago, related to missing family and looking ahead negatively to winter.

However it is has been a blip for me in the other direction from yourself as I was depressed in my 20s and have been ok since. I'd say I learned how to manage myself after my averagely miserable teen years and my worse early adult experience.

Keep seeking help and support and know that long term life satisfaction surveys show people getting happier as they age. Strange but true.