to not return unsolicited gifts

[SplunkPostGres]

I had a birthday a few days ago. Not a great day but I’m trying to focus on putting plans in place for the future including a house purchase.

During lockdown I was back in contact with an ex, but all the reasons we broke up (long protracted break up over several years) were still there.

On my birthday he left some quite expensive gifts on my doorstep. No note, but know they’re from him. I don’t want to get in contact with him again to return these things. I’ve been thinking about sending a bank payment to his account for the amount, but it’s a few hundred pounds and these are luxury items I wouldn’t buy for myself at the moment, due to wanting to make the house purchase.

I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to start the cycle of contacting him again, but these are expensive items that I feel icky about keeping.

As a very wise Mnetter said recently. Gifts come with ribbons not strings.

I'm still confused. You were back in contact over lockdown, realised the issues which caused you to break up were still there and you cut contact?

Now you don't want to restart "the cycle of contacting him again". So Back In Contact meant what? Flirting, trying to restart a relationship? If it was just friends, why cut him off?

I think it's quite nice that you built a friendship over lockdown and he's sent you a couple of gifts to cheer you up on your birthday. Unless you think he has an ulterior motive of some sort

if you split on an amicable footing and the presents aren't some control thing or him trying to win you round, just sell them on. No need to angst about it, I understand you might not want him sending you stuff but if it was meant kindly then there's no harm done. You could either not acknowledge or firmly tell him 'thanks but you really shouldn't be spending money on me'.

I would just text and say thank you, and keep them. That's what you do with gifts.