To think I could have autism?

[NoThankyouPlease]

I’ve lately been wondering whether I could be autistic but I’m not sure. My brother has autism and I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. There are just some things that I’m wondering could be autism traits. I have very obvious ticks, and I’m starting to get a bit embarrassed about them, they’ve been pointed out a bit and I’m very aware I’m doing them when talking to people but I can’t stop. I have urges to squint my eyes and scrunch my face, it’s mainly facial ticks but often I’ll also have to turn each shoulder to look behind until it feels ‘right’. I can’t stop them at all and it feels horrible to try. I’m also very bad in social situations and struggle to make small talk and hate meeting new people, it gives me anxiety. People often say I come across very rude even though I don’t mean to, I’m very blunt and I say what I’m thinking without really thinking about it. I was told the other day when in a disagreement with someone that I’m ‘emotionless’. I struggle to show any emotion when in situations like that. It’s like I’m not there. I can talk and talk and I don’t realise if someone gets bored. If I am thinking about something and I get interrupted I feel very distressed, and get very irritated, and have to go back to the beginning of the thought and go through it all again. I have also been diagnosed with OCD. I am bad at maths and things like that but I am very clever, but have no common sense! I write well (in a work setting) and I do speak eloquently. I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. But I do feel like something is ‘wrong’ with me. Not in a way that I want to be diagnosed with something, but in a way that I don’t feel like I’m working properly. Does that make sense? I don’t know what I’m after here, but perhaps someone who has experience of autistic traits could offer some advice? I don’t want to talk to my family about it because they are very focused on my brother.

Look up Sarah Hendrickx videos on you tube about autism in women. There is loads of useful stuff there and you can see if you identify with the traits she talks about.

OCD is part of the autism spectrum and it is far more common than most people think.
Maybe check out the National Autistic Society’s website. It’s got a huge database of information.

You sound very like me. I got diagnosed at 24 and it’s lifechanging.

How is your sensory profile? Are you over or under sensitive in certain senses? My hearing and sense of touch are accurate but my sense of smell is awful. I also have 0 pain threshold.

My daughter is autistic, and my sister in law has a diagnosis of bi-polar effective disorder, however, after having been on countless courses and read many articles on autism presentation in women, I am convinced that she is also autistic.

Depending on your personal circumstances, I would suggest going private for a diagnosis. If you do, go to somewhere with experience of female presentation, such as the Lorna Wing centre if you are in the South.

It is very difficult to get a diagnosis for a child who is obviously struggling, and the waiting list is over 2 years. We ended up getting a private diagnosis for our daughter and the cost was c £1700. It's not cheap, and, to be honest, it doesn't bring much in the way of post diagnostic support.

I would maybe start by reading some of the many excellent books and articles written by autistic women. Odd Girl Out by Laura James is a very moving story of the author's journey to diagnosis,

The Girl with the Curly Hair has lots of resources, and is also running online seminars at present.

Try looking for Tony Attwood talks and Temple Grandin.

There are lots of women who have self-diagnosed their autism after trying and failing to get support/help from the NHS.

For many, reading about it was their lightbulb moment. I think (certainly for my daughter) the understanding that there was something different about how her brain worked, and that it wasn't her being weird has been transformative for her. The support she needs is around coping in school - anxiety is a massive issue for her, and with that comes coping strategies that are self-destructive - self harm and eating disorders.

You could also try finding a therapist with a speciality in female autism. Try BACP for reputable therapists near you.

90% of the help and advice I have had for my daughter has been via charities and support groupd on facebook. I have been passed from Step 2 to CAMHS to PALMS - we are lucky in that we can afford private art therapy for her, which has been massively beneficial for her.

I am not autistic myself, but it often runs in families, and I am fairly sure my husband is autistic. I think it's helped him to think about traits and understanding his own reactions to situations. He has no desire currently to seek a diagnosis, but I would support him if and when he decides this is important for him.

Good luck with some answers

Thank you for the advice everyone. @Pheasantplucker2 I might look into it but wondering if it’s worth it if I do get a diagnosis, ie would anything change? @user1471548941 My hearing and touch is fine, but I’m the same with smell! However my pain threshold is very high.

@1Morewineplease

OCD is part of the autism spectrum and it is far more common than most people think. Maybe check out the National Autistic Society’s website. It’s got a huge database of information.

Hi 1MoreWineplease, no I think this is something that people get a bit confused about- OCD is not part of the Autistic spectrum.

The vast majority OCD sufferers do not have an Autistic Disorder at all and have normal social interactions and emotional behaviours. Most people with OCD develop it between late childhood and early adulthood- it is not typically a neurodevelopmental disorder like ASDs. OCD is characterized by distressing intrusive thoughts and behaviours to undo the thought or to cope with the anxiety that the thoughts cause.

At the same time the majority of people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders show some repetitive behaviours and some have a diagnosis of OCD. This is not surprising given that a lot of people with ASD experience severe anxiety.

If you are worried op, book in to discuss with your dr, and if they agree they can refer you to be assessed.
I was diagnosed very young but I must be outwardly autistic as people often ask me if I am or if I need any help (I sometimes struggle In shops etc)
I was massively struggling earlier this year at work, and other things andsuffered a lot with daily plus meltdowns, sensory overload etc. Although I am autistic I have been alone since my dad died (I lived with him) and did not understand what was happening to me. My meltdowns are usually rare now i am mid 30s so it was a bit of a shock I also lost my ability to hold any sort of conversation written or verbal. (Lockdown exacerbated this!)
My drs arranged for another adult asssement (I think) which I had a while ago. Lady was very nice and is going to send a report to my drs about possible support I think, I am not really sure I will see when I get a copy.
But basically I try to tell you, please see your dr if you are worried as if they did this for me when I already have diagnosis then your dr might agree with you and apply for you to have the assessment? It is worth asking if you are worried about it

Hi, OP. I'm autistic. I also have OCD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, depression, and I get tics. What you describe about your tics sounds more tourettes, but it's another condition which is comorbid with autism. I doubt I would have been separately diagnosed with anxiety disorder if they had diagnosed my autism first.

Bipolar or borderline personality disorder are often diagnosed in women who are autistic. So your bipolar may not actually be bipolar. But please don't stop any treatment you're on, you can have both and what's important is that you are being treated correctly.

I do think it is worth being assessed because even though there's not a lot to be done after the diagnosis, it answers questions and it's helped me to understand myself and also to not spend so much energy trying not to be autistic.