To let my 4yo read when he can't sleep?

[Dinosforall]

DS1 sometimes has trouble dropping off, and lately has also occasionally been waking for long stretches at night.

Sitting with him sometimes helps, sometimes not. He generally seems fine the next day ( unlike his parents ). He is a confident reader and will sit in bed with a pile of books.

He starts school next month and obviously we want him fresh (though hopefully it will wear him out!) It feels a bit weird to let him stay up but otherwise he just stares at the ceiling and keeps waking us.

AIBU to let him read at night and just be glad he's getting some practice?

I'd let him read to wind down for a short while e.g. half an hour, but he needs to develop mindfulness skills to help him actually fall asleep.

There are lots of resources out there.

I don't have kids so I can't give you an advice from my own experience but here's an article about this: offspring.lifehacker.com/let-your-kid-stay-up-past-their-bedtime-to-read-1837833422

If you do check the link also look at the comments, it seems that it's a method practiced by other parents as well.
The author of the article mentions a time limit but one comment states that it might not be need:

"Once we’re done reading, and after saying good-night they’ll often prop themselves up and start reading their books. We don’t set a time limit since, as you stated, they often fall asleep within the half hour anyways".

Do let him read, I think it's great your child can read at such a young age I have to force mine to even hold a book. Encourage it

At 4yo my Dd started waking at 1:30am for 1-2hrs. It became a major habit. We have worked with a sleep consultant, she's on melatonin, and we've done a lot of mindfulness. Now at 5yrs 8m she will sleep through 6/7 nights then have a more wakeful night. I would be very wary of encouraging this habit. Try to support him going back to sleep instead. But ultimately if he's not calling you (which my Dd was, 32 times a night) then you might want to go with it.

Yeah definitely! My eldest (8) does every night in bed and he's always been a terrible sleeper but it does help him

Yes, I would (and did). My DD is 15 now, she's always been an appalling sleeper, never even napped as a baby and I think this contributed to my PND. Our breakthrough was when she was old enough to go to bed and amuse herself until she felt sleepy. I still read to her and then she looked at her books or drew and coloured until she fell asleep. Invariably she would end up in bed with us at sometime in the night. But we did at least have a break in the evening. She's never had a problem getting up and being fresh for school the next day.
Some kids just don't need the sleep. I was made to go to bed with the lights out at a certain time, I used to lie awake for hours worrying and am still afraid of the bloody dark at 50 🙄. My gran gave me a torch so I could read under the covers. I wasn't going to bring my child up the same way.

Read before dropping off, fine.
But we have a 6am early limit before which you can go to the bathroom, but otherwise must lie quietly in bed and rest (this has crept later- it used to be 5.30). The alternative was he would read from about 3am. He would be fine the following day, but we were unhappy with him getting aprox 7 hrs sleep.
I'm not sure which time period you are contemplating reading during? Basically if adults could reasonably be awake (5.30 was bit of a stretch!) reading was ok. But during my night (currently 10.30-6) his lights need to be off, and he needs to be resting

I wouldn't encourage it. Night time isn't for reading, it's a bad habit. Is he waking up because of bad dreams? Does he go to bed too early? Reading can make some people more drowsy before going to sleep but if you think about it, it triggers lots of thinking, imagination, and for some people it will actually prevent them from sleeping.

4 year old can read? Really read? I know things start earlier in UK than where I am but I find it so hard to believe. Recognise numbers, the odd letter and word but read?

Anyway regardless I wouldn't encourage it, bedtime is bedtime if it is too early for him to fall asleep then put him later.

Yikes, you don't want to encourage that reading palaver, he might carry it on into adulthood!

Of course let him read. Would you stop an adult from reading in bed? If so, please get help.

If it's a stealth boast, there you go lovely, well done on having an early reader. Let him read in bed.

I wouldn't encourage it. Night time isn't for reading, it's a bad habit. Is he waking up because of bad dreams? Does he go to bed too early? Reading can make some people more drowsy before going to sleep but if you think about it, it triggers lots of thinking, imagination, and for some people it will actually prevent them from sleeping.

Darn reading! Making people think... Giving them ideas... Where will it all end?!

My youngest was a night owl. You can't make a child sleep when they're not ready to. So she had the same bedtime as her sister, had the same bedtime routine - story, tuck in, goodnight. But when we left she'd still be wide awake.

So yes, she looked at books. How else would she occupy herself in bed until she was ready for sleep? She was calm, relaxed, quiet, and occupied. And she'd fall asleep in her own time.

It didn't do her any harm, schoolwise. She didn't jump out of bed as soon as she woke, like her sister did, but she was okay, and certainly not tired at school.

She's an adult now, and still a night owl.But she gets up at six, ready to start her shift as a nurse at 7:30 am and work until 8:30pm.

Of course you should encourage him to read! It's one of life's pleasures, cosying into bed with a book. Why wouldn't you?

The other thing to think about is audiobooks. We use them for both of our girls. It means the light is out, and they can lie with their eyes shut, but they are listening to a story, not just lying awake in the dark, and they both eventually drop off. Eldest (age 11) listens to Harry Potter and the CD switched itself off when it’s finished. Youngest (age 7) is in a Dick King Smith phase, and also likes the Wind in the Willows, and a set of stories we have which include Elmer the elephant. If it’s a short Cd we put it on repeat and switch it off when we come to bed.

@NoKnit

4 year old can read? Really read? I know things start earlier in UK than where I am but I find it so hard to believe. Recognise numbers, the odd letter and word but read?

Anyway regardless I wouldn't encourage it, bedtime is bedtime if it is too early for him to fall asleep then put him later.

It's not hard to believe at all. Some kids just 'get it' early on if they've been read to a lot. Mine were both reading at 4 (and it's not a boast, and they didn't turn out to be genuises - we were just a book-y family). But it's like anything else, some kids do some stuff early. Some do it later but catch the others up very quickly.

night time isn't for reading, it's a bad habit.

Seriously?! 😆

*4 year old can read? Really read?

I was reading at 3. Really actually reading. My brother started school and I absorbed what he was learning without any conscious effort. My own son was a fluent reader before he was 5.

Just jumping on to say I could read before I started reception, so before I was four. My DM read with me everyday as far back as I can remember (and before that obviously) and the books at reception just didn't cut it for me I'd have to be told I needed to put my books down at bed time throughout my childhood so I could sleep. I would, and then I'd read them under the covers anyway. I really have been an avid reader right from the word go! I don't have a 4yro but wouldn't discourage reading, I fell asleep much faster when I read my books and I'm still the same as an adult. Audio books are also a good compromise

For adults, magnesium helps with poor sleep.

Thanks all.
Yes, I am thrilled he finds reading easy, but am concerned about him developing terrible sleeping habits. We've had several nights recently where he's woken at 2/3am until 5/6.
He's not waking to read as such, it's just something he can do by himself at night.

Would you encourage an adult insomniac to do any more reading than to drop off again? I don’t think op is saying no reading before bed - just not to read when up in the small hours. Lots of people have used this thread to jump in to comment on early reading and how they love to read in bed!

Do you think the waking is related to starting school? One of mine was very unsettled in the summer before school. Slept in with me a couple of times and I encouraged them to go back to bed

@Gwynfluff

Would you encourage an adult insomniac to do any more reading than to drop off again? I don’t think op is saying no reading before bed - just not to read when up in the small hours. Lots of people have used this thread to jump in to comment on early reading and how they love to read in bed!

Do you think the waking is related to starting school? One of mine was very unsettled in the summer before school. Slept in with me a couple of times and I encouraged them to go back to bed

Yes I think it might be related to starting school. On one hand I'd like to get him into good habits including dropping off by himself, on the other, I don't want to introduce too many changes to his routine if he's already feeling a bit unsettled.

I think people have got the wrong end of the stick here!!! Op is not talking about reading before bed, or reading in the early hours of the morning, op is talking about a cold who is waking in the middle of the night for hours, and then filling that time by reading. Op I do think that something less involved such as an audio book or mindfulness cd for chosen could be preferable, you aim here is to help your child learn to turn their minds back off and go back to sleep.

I let my daughter read to drop off too but it went from 1 hour anything up to 3 hours after bedtime. She just couldn’t switch off. This was like this for a couple of years. I bought a weighted blanket about 4 weeks ago and started a strategy of lights out means lights out to sleep. There has been a drastic turn around and she gets over really quickly and sleeps right through