Door step seller! Help!

[Thehorrifiedone]

Last week I had a door step seller at my door. Young uni kid who was selling educational books for kids.
I was interested to begin with, until he said the price was 3 "easy" payments of £99 for two lots of question books and some encyclopedias. I said I cannot afford that and he said he can do the question books for just £59. At this point (after a long 45 minutes) I just wanted him to go. I said yes, with the intention of cancelling, as I hate confrontion with a passion and will avoid it at all costs.
At the end, he said I am now subscribed to some kids gaming app which cost £20 a month! I didn't consent to having that at all and it made me a little bit mad. He then wanted a picture of him, me and my kids (who was there at the door with me) to prove to his company he was doing work. He said he did it with everyone and they all were ok. Left his card with social media address on and went.
I immediately cancel the subscription and books via email and thought that was it.

Over the couple of days, he has been knocking on my door. I've ignored it of course because I don't want anything to do with any of it.
Just now, I looked up his facebook and he has pictures of families with the products. Scrolling a little further down, I saw me and my children. I did not consent to be put up on social media at all! I've re-read all the terms and conditions and no where did it say anything about this. Surely this is in breach of something? Can I get it taken down?

I long to be the strong person who can yell no and slam the door in their faces, but I can't

You don't have to do this though - yelling and slamming aren't necessary
A simple (and early) "no thank you", door closed and you're done

These Southwestern Advantage people are everywhere at the moment, I can't believe that when we aren't even seeing family and friends, they expect us to let a stranger off the streets into our homes! The girl I had was very pushy and trying to guilt me into letting her in because she was getting rained on, it had been raining all day and she didn't look that wet, just another scam.
Doorstep selling should be banned in my opinion.

Unfortunately you can’t engage with any uninvited callers. It’s much easier just to say ‘no thank you,’ as soon as they start speaking and talk over them as you shut the door. Sales people are relying on you to be too polite or intimidated to interrupt.

I have reported the image and have blocked them too just incase. Looking at the guidelines, there was a few he breached. The main ones being pictures outside someone's residence and uploading images of minors under 13 without the parents consent which he definitely did not have.
Next I will email the company to make sure it's being dealt with.
@Griselda1 I definitely won't be answering the door anymore. I only did as I was expecting a package, and when I looked through the peep hole I just saw someone stood a bit away from the door where the delivery man always stands so i assumed. I don't have a chain on the door either.

I honestly feel very stupid about it all.

The main ones being pictures outside someone's residence
But you let him do it?!

@safariboot oh gosh, that's scary! I will be installing a chain asap!! Thank you for the warning.
@Puzzledandpissedoff I didn't mean literally yell. I'm a pretty shy and easily intimidated person, I hate coming across as rude. I can't even say no to my friends.
@CrocodileFondue Yes this guy was asking to come in too, saying he had walked an hour and a half from town and was tired. I told him I can't let anyone in and felt so guilty about it when he said he'll have to make do with the wall. It should be banned.
@Silentplikebath I will try my hardest if it happens again to say no. I need to grow a backbone!

@Thisismytimetoshine yes because he said he needed it for his company, believing what people say is one if my major downfalls. Not everyone can be perfect.

Op don’t feel bad. The whole thing with door to door sales is its designed to find people that will say yes. When I was in uni I applied for a job and the advert was very very vague. After the interview with the company director who told me the job was in marketing and that there was uncapped earnings and the potential to own my own business I was told I had been successful And to come back the next day for a practical interview. Went out with a women in her car to a completely unfamiliar area when she then told me it was door to door sales and that people made thousands from it each week and you could build up your own team and have your own company. It was essentially a pyramid scheme where if you recruited enough team members you moved up to a team leader and then to something else and then you could move and create your own office and run your own company.
The main things they teach you is the more doors you knock the more “yes”customers they will find. Customers who will always say yes because they feel sorry for you, or because they can’t say no, customers that don’t want to be rude.
I learnt all about the smile and eye contact and standing with your arms wide open when someone opens the door.
Over turn 3 negatives before you leave the door- the customer says they are busy; it’ll only take a minute. I’m in the middle of cooking tea; ooh I’m starving what are you having. I’m not interested; you don’t know what I’m here for yet.
‘Keeping up with the joneses’ all your neighbours have signed up, Steve down the road almost snatched the pen out my hand, I was talking to Sarah at number 3 have you met her little girl she’s gorgeous. In reality of course neither Steve or Sarah has signed up but the sales person finds out their name so they can drop it in to conversation.
When we got back to the office there was loud music playing and each person that had hit a target had to ring a bell while everyone cheered and clapped them. They had random chants and the whole thing was like a cult. I saw so many people that had fallen for it and believed if they came back another day they would be succesful.
I googled the company- COBRA and honestly it’s absolute shower of shit.
Now when ever anyone knocks I say no thank you and if they keep going I tell them I don’t have a bank account- there is no way that can be overturned.

You have to be really quite gullible or dim to think he needed a photo as proof he had spoke to you when he already had your bank details and payment plan set up. If it was a matter of proof, dont you think that's enough? Wouldn't you reply with, "You have my purchase. That's your proof" rather than agreeing to him taking a photo of your children if you ate uncomfortable with it?

I'm probably considered horrible but I think if you're stupid enough to get into the conversation with them and then sign up for stuff you dont want when all you had to do was shut the door, then you be really brought whatever comes after on yourself. Unless you've got diminished mental capacity, there really isn't an excuse for being unable to say no.

It is hard op but what i say is i dont give bank details at the door.Its not rude but it shuts it right down,as thats what they are usually after

@Rose789

Op don’t feel bad. The whole thing with door to door sales is its designed to find people that will say yes. When I was in uni I applied for a job and the advert was very very vague. After the interview with the company director who told me the job was in marketing and that there was uncapped earnings and the potential to own my own business I was told I had been successful And to come back the next day for a practical interview. Went out with a women in her car to a completely unfamiliar area when she then told me it was door to door sales and that people made thousands from it each week and you could build up your own team and have your own company. It was essentially a pyramid scheme where if you recruited enough team members you moved up to a team leader and then to something else and then you could move and create your own office and run your own company. The main things they teach you is the more doors you knock the more “yes”customers they will find. Customers who will always say yes because they feel sorry for you, or because they can’t say no, customers that don’t want to be rude. I learnt all about the smile and eye contact and standing with your arms wide open when someone opens the door. Over turn 3 negatives before you leave the door- the customer says they are busy; it’ll only take a minute. I’m in the middle of cooking tea; ooh I’m starving what are you having. I’m not interested; you don’t know what I’m here for yet. ‘Keeping up with the joneses’ all your neighbours have signed up, Steve down the road almost snatched the pen out my hand, I was talking to Sarah at number 3 have you met her little girl she’s gorgeous. In reality of course neither Steve or Sarah has signed up but the sales person finds out their name so they can drop it in to conversation. When we got back to the office there was loud music playing and each person that had hit a target had to ring a bell while everyone cheered and clapped them. They had random chants and the whole thing was like a cult. I saw so many people that had fallen for it and believed if they came back another day they would be succesful. I googled the company- COBRA and honestly it’s absolute shower of shit. Now when ever anyone knocks I say no thank you and if they keep going I tell them I don’t have a bank account- there is no way that can be overturned.

I've had all of that and more, yet still said No thanks and closed the door 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have no issues with coming across as rude to some unsolicited door knocker trying to sell me something. "No, thank you" isn't remotely rude anyway.

Whilst I can't understand what it's like to be the type of person who cannot turn away a cold caller, i do know that you're wrong in saying that you can't change. You absolutely CAN learn to be more assertive, I am very lucky that my school put on a free course when I was in high school and it transformed me and at least one of my friends for good. I do a lot of personal development as an adult so I know it's possible to learn new skills as an adult too- find an assertiveness course online or even a book from your library or something. You don't have to live like this, and you kids need you to be able to protect them better than this too.

If he took the photo, its his photo, he can actually put it where he likes including on social media.

Untrue if the photo was taken in your private dwelling. You can, as the owner, say no to him using the image. Tricky if you gave him verbal permission, but you can deny you did so.

Maybe good to know that these people are commission paid. He will be paid for you signing up. Then they will ask him to pay it back. I'm afraid you wasted 45 minutes of his time when you could have just said. No thank you.

There's a real lack of empathy on here sometimes. Is it so hard to understand that the OP doesn't like confrontation and finds it hard to say no? I'd say she's learned a lesson now and will be able to do it in the future.

Legitimate door to door sales don’t really exist any more. It is unfortunate when someone gets conned into working for one of these operations, but that is not your responsibility. If you read up on some of them you will discover the workers are often close to prisoners, being driven around in crowded vans and sleeping on hotel room floors. You aren’t helping by providing the companies with your financial details, just giving them incentive to keep up the “business”. If one of the sellers asks for your help getting out, then contact the police for them. Otherwise, say no and close the door.

My late DF used to say that if he wanted something he would buy it - but he didn't want anything sold to him.
I was young and didn't understand at the time but I do now.

Can you download and then display one of those signs that says you don't want any unsolicited callers, OP?

doesn't like confrontation and finds it hard to say no?

Saying no is not "confrontation".

There's a real lack of empathy on here sometimes
She let stranger take pic of her kids🤷🏻
Other point covered above

Also, lots of behaviour we have is learned. Children watching parents like this will either grow up to the the same, or be on MN writing about their DM doing their head in because she can't say no and is making everyone's life hell because they have to bail her out, change plans etc.

Think about it. The kids are watching. Kids see more than people realise. Be a role model for your kids.

There is a huge difference between not liking confrontation and being able to say “no thank you” and close a door.

We are mostly plagued with the supposedly ex offenders being supposedly rehabilitated by selling over priced dusters from a higher bag. They are often very rude when I tell them I’m not interested. The most recent one was unusually polite, which was strange. I found out the following day that he’d stolen my neighbours handbag from her doorstep after she’d fetched it to buy some tea cloths from him.

There is a huge difference between not liking confrontation and being able to say “no thank you” and close a door.
What about when you cant close the door because the (much larger) person has put one foot in the door as in my previous post?

OP, this needs to be a turning point for you. Lots of posters have said they have learned to be more assertive. You let a complete stranger take a photo of your children rather than say no. Instead of saying its not easy, look at how you can change.

Isn't this much easier at present anyway because of social distancing? I wouldn't be letting anyone stand up close on my doorstep let alone come in my house right now. I am so using Elfycats vampire response if I ever get the chance as it's much more interesting than my usual response that I am broke.