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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's a bit unusual to have absolutely nothing from childhood!

118 replies

VoppityHoosh · 01/08/2020 12:42

As in not a single thing? No special teddy, first baby shoes, the blanket knitted by granny?

My husband and his three siblings (all in their 30s) have absolutely nothing left from under the age of about 15 (when they got weekend jobs and were able to buy their own stuff) not a sausage

There is no physical record of their childhood left, apart from a few packets of photos- I've only ever seen about half a dozen photographs of my husband as a child/teen

Pils have nothing stashed in their attic either (I know because I helped them move house) DH says they never did.

They have plenty of ornaments and knickknacks on display, so it isn't minimalism, they were comfortably off and lived in a big house with loads of storage, including a massive attic, so it wasn't a space issue, so I can only assume they aren't sentimental that way (though they have loads of pictures and items that belonged to their own parents/holiday souvenirs on display)

It only really struck me as unusual when I was boxing away some of toddler DD's baby things - I've kept a few outfits, a silver baby bracelet, her baby book and a special blanket, which seems about what most of my friends and family seem to keep (apart from one friend who kept every single thing in the garage for years!)

AIBU to think it's a bit strange? Friends of mine have Lego sets that are being played with after spending a few decades in the grandparents attic, and I've also kept some doll's house furniture for DD when she's older - I don't like clutter but it's nice to pass on one or two special items and keep a few bits for memories.

OP posts:

Purplepie78 · 01/08/2020 15:04

My kids all have a baby box with their red books in, first outfit, first shoes etc. I’m nearly 50, I have a book and a Paddington bear from when I was little, nothing else though.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 01/08/2020 15:05

I've nothing here, just a few photos but I've got those from other family members, was estranged from parents by the time I was 20. I can't say I've kept much of my own kids stuff though, a few cards they've made, school reports. It's just stuff though isn't it, stuffs not important to me, memories live inside me not in stuff.

ilovesushi · 01/08/2020 15:07

My husband's family is the same. They have nothing which I find weird and they find normal. I have loads of photos, books and some very well loved toys including a beautiful and very worn china doll that was my mums and is now my daughter's, some fisher price toys which seem indestructible and live at my parents house where they get a lot of play from all the various grandchildren. At the moment my daughter is reading a book that used to be mine. I like that link between my own childhood and my kids and back to my mum's. I don't think my dad's family kept anything but they moved around a lot.

crimsonlake · 01/08/2020 15:10

I do not think it is fair to judge and it all depends upon the circumstances.
I had to sell the family home following divorce and downsize. I had two children in their late teens and I had no option to literally give away everything I had saved for them from being tiny to charity as there was no room for it.
One of my son's said I was throwing away his childhood, broke my heart and I will not forget his words. Just a shame his unfaithful rat of a df was not around to hear those words as he was the one to blame for their home being sold.

BooseysMom · 01/08/2020 15:10

I have photos from the 80s, but no baby ones, only school portraits. My parents got rid of all my stuff. We had a big farmhouse so no idea why. I have made sure to keep special toys, clothes, etc for DS for when he grows up. In fact I find it hard to get rid of anything!

CustardySergeant · 01/08/2020 15:13

BoggledBudgie "I have nothing from my childhood, not even pictures. My parents weren’t the sentimental type."

Same here, including not even a photo. My parents and I absolutely loathed each other. Needless to say, I was an only child, because I was "an accident". They never wanted children.

Nottherealslimshady · 01/08/2020 15:15

I have loads, and my mum has two massive boxes of pictures, from our childhood and her own. My DH has nothing. His parents have no pictures of their children at all. The only pictures in the house are of their grandson that were given to them. But honestly, they just didn't care, they are not sentimental at all, their parenting went so far as to providing a roof over their head and food in their bellies in the most basic sense. Whereas my mum and her parents were all about the memories and love, which is why I feel so bonded to my nana and grandad despite their early deaths.

nokidshere · 01/08/2020 15:16

I've got nothing at all from before I was about 18. We were in the care system from when I was about 8, prior to that we didn't have a camera and all toys/clothes were 2/3/4th hand. Anything that might have existed went when our house blew up in a gas explosion (we weren't in it).

I recently contacted the council (I'm 59 now) to ask about all the stuff from the care system only to be told there are no records/photos/anything as it was all destroyed in a fire.

So to all intents and purposes I didn't exist until I was 18.

We recently de cluttered at home and my two boys chucked everything bar a few toys and books away - adamant that they didn't want to spend their lives keeping things they won't look at.

elp30 · 01/08/2020 15:16

My mother saved a pair of white baby boots that had my name and date of birth and the date I wore those boots. I was around eight months old. Apart from a few photos, these boots are all I have of my childhood. My mother died when I was very young and my father wasn't the sentimental type.

I kept loads of things for my three children that I kept in a very large Rubbermaid box weighing 30lbs. I've had things in there like teddies, school reports, artwork, toys, favorite books, clothes, etc... I took that box from city to city, two different countries and loads of house moves over the past 28 years.

I recently had my three adult children look through the box and decide what they wanted to keep. It was a very entertaining day to have them go through it but in the end, they only took literally one artwork, one small toy and their best school report each. I felt a little silly keeping that huge box for so long. Obviously, that box of mementos was for me, not them.

As I said in the beginning, I only have a pair of baby boots. I honestly have no connection to them. I'm not sure I want to keep them. What am I supposed to do with them? I can't give them away as they're an old-fashioned style and my name is on the sole?

zigaziga · 01/08/2020 15:17

My DC are young. I am keeping a few momentos, mostly for me, but I won’t keep much. The photos are the most important I think and I frame the special ones.

My parents kept a lot and my Dad occasionally moves it around in the loft and sends me photos saying “do you remember this?” and I don’t. I don’t want to be like them and have a loft full of sentimental rubbish that doesn’t mean what it’s supposed to.

Northernsoulgirl45 · 01/08/2020 15:17

I have nothing either.

Bodgedboxdye · 01/08/2020 15:18

It just depends.

My mom, sister and I moved around a lot so a lot of stuff got lost.

I’ve kept all my daughter’s things. She has a huge memory box of things that I’ve deemed important. I’ve kept all the teddies/blankets she received when she was a baby and will keep them throughout.

It means a lot to me that she has things she can look back over and reminisce. (:

Moonshinemisses · 01/08/2020 15:23

I Dont have anything from childhood except a few pictures. I had a average/ happy time growing up & I'm very close to my mum. I dont really have much saved for my kids, a small shoe box with hospital wrist bands and a few other bits.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 01/08/2020 15:23

My DH doesn’t even have photos. I regularly cull our stuff from our DC but I have a box and of course tons of photos, not having photos or a baby book of any kind I know makes my DH feel sad. His sister has one photo of him as a chunky toddler and we have one of him aged about 7 in Boy Scouts

zigaziga · 01/08/2020 15:32

I’m clearly missing the sentimental gene as my kids’ hospital wrist bands were in the bin as soon as we got home!

VettiyaIruken · 01/08/2020 15:33

I've got nothing from my childhood bar a few photos given to me by other people. I'm not sentimental, it's just clutter to me.

I did the birth box thing because I thought I ought to. Clip, nappy (unused 😁) name bracelets, newspaper with announcement in and so on. I think they're in the loft. I'm not really sure what you're supposed to do with them.

When they brought their notebooks home at the end of each year, I'd rip out the used pages and put them in the recycling and keep the unused pages for writing/drawing on. I think my sister has every workbook her daughter has ever used.

Is it something that bothers kids cos if so I'm screwed since they're adults now.

rc22 · 01/08/2020 15:37

I'm 43 and still have my favourite soft toy from childhood now. My mum has mine and my brother's first pairs of shoes and a locket with a piece of hair from each of our first haircuts in (i find that one a bit weird) I think she has the new baby cards she was sent for us both in a box with their wedding cards. Other than photos, my husband has nothing.

Scruffyoak · 01/08/2020 15:39

I don't have anything. Not really that fussed!

hadtojoin · 01/08/2020 15:45

Although my mum recently offered me the lolly moulds we had as children and knitting patterns from the 1970's so obviously keeps lots of (useless) stuff she has virtually nothing from me and my siblings childhood. I think once we had no use for things she threw them away.
About 15 years ago she showed me a teddy (my only one I think) that I loved as a child but would not let me have it. When I asked for it recently she told me she couldn't remember it and didn't know where it was. She then gave me a broken wooden doll that was mine but I hardly remembered it and was not an important thing to me. I am hoping that I will find my teddy again when she has passed away.

BooseysMom · 01/08/2020 16:00

You must keep them! They are yours even if your DCs aren't interested. Your life is important and when you have kids it's easy to feel that you as a person only exists to make everyone else happy. You forget you deserve happiness too. Well that's what I think! I think girls are more likely to want to keep their parent's stuff. I've got loads of photos and keepsakes DM passed to me. I have a son and no daughter so can't see him wanting it all. Although he said the other day the photos are important as he's my family. He's 6, bless him.

CouldBeOuting · 01/08/2020 16:01

I have a handful of photos and that’s it. My father remarried after my mother died and his wife got rid of nearly everything. Didn’t offer it to us....just threw it all out.

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 01/08/2020 16:09

As in not a single thing? No special teddy, first baby shoes, the blanket knitted by granny?

I am one of those children, OP. My siblings haven't got any special things from their childhood either; only some photos. I blame my DM for trying to get rid off the "clutter".

MsEllany · 01/08/2020 16:12

My husband is in a similar situation - he has only 5 or 6 photos from his youth, only two of them have him in them, the rest are his estranged grandparents.

His mum and dad split when he was young and his mum burnt everything out of spite as he (DH) took his dad’s side in the split.

It makes me really sad. I don’t have much from when I was small but I have enough - the stuff I deliberately kept.

Beautiful3 · 01/08/2020 16:23

I have nothing from my childhood either, not even a photograph!

Lurchermom · 01/08/2020 16:24

We have plenty of childhood photos (or rather my parents do) but I don't think we have any things from being babies/young children. I've got some stuff I've inherited from my grandma (some jewellery) so I've got family stuff but I think that's it. My mom might have a couple of my old beanie babies stashed in a shelf somewhere thinking about it but certainly not a box of baby momentoes. We really aren't sentimental in that way.

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