To hate this godforsaken planet?

[Rundownoj]

Constant fucking misery. Covid coming and shitting on everybody’s livelihood. I quite literally lost everything, job, friends, sanity in the lockdown. Daughter has severe depression and anxiety from it and has pretty much become a recluse. Envious of those just going clubbing and going back to normal like nothing fucking happened.

Just had an email off a dear friend of mine to say yesterday a policeman came to her door to say her lovely husband had died suddenly. Not giving outing details but he was an amazing man who worked front line with Covid patients, though his death was unrelated. 3 kids left without their dad.

I cannot stand this miserable fucking planet and I want off of it.

I'm so sorry. Sounds like you're having a dreadful time.

I'm sorry OP
And my condolences to your friend and her family

Thank you both. I just feel ill with shock. Feel like a twat for making this thread as it’s like I’m making it about me but I just don’t know why this had to happen and I’m not coping. Don’t know how to support my friend. He was such a lovely, kind, family man. I’m just in bed feeling sick, you never know what’s round the corner in life and it is terrifying.

I completely sympathise OP, grief for a sudden death is horrendous and also often complicated.

When my friend died unexpectedly last year (he was a well-loved, very generous frontline worker too), I found myself feeling the exact same way as you - totally shocked, horrified, wondering how the world could still be turning when such a light had gone out. I literally cried daily for weeks, and found myself wanting to talk to everyone about him/how wonderful he was/how much worse off the world was without him.

I also almost felt guilty for being so badly affected by his death, since I’m not family, and worried about “overstepping” with my grief. In the end though, there is no wrong way to grieve, so don’t feel bad for making this thread or anything else!

I’m sorry you are going through this, my condolences and well wishes to both you and your friend at this horrible time

@Remembering39862 That’s how I feel, that I need to get a grip as it must be horrific for the family When I think of their 3 kids I burst into tears. DD7 is friends with the kids and loved him, thought he was the funniest man around so she is gutted as well.

Mutual friend has just been in touch to say she’s been round and has picked up their very active dog as they are not able to cope with him at the moment. Mutual friend can’t have him as she is PG and so I’ve agreed she can bring him here.

I totally understand why you feel that (since I did too), but I’d say you definitely don’t need to feel like you should get a grip - it’s perfectly normal to be upset, both for yourself, and on your friend’s behalf. And for all the children involved too, including your daughter. In fact, it would be strange if you (and she) weren’t affected by this, since it sounds like your families are closely linked.

I’m sure your friend will appreciate that you care so much for her and her family. Plus you are offering vital support by liaising with your mutual friend and taking on the dog to relieve that stress, which is exactly the kind of practical thing that can really help at a time like this.

I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be too hard on yourself, it sounds like you’re balancing your own sadness and support for your friend brilliantly

That's terrible, awful news, I'm so sorry, both to your friend and her family, and to you.

You are helping a lot by looking after their dog, and by just being available to her.

So so sorry for your situation, you must be absolutely bereft xx it's an awful time we are living through atm.

I am really sorry, it is shit and whilst we are "all in this together", it's to differing degrees of shit.

That's awful, I am sorry to hear that.

You mentioned clubbing. That's the first thing I wanted to do post-lockdown, but we're nowhere near to reopening the nightclubs. We might actually be going backwards again.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Condolences to the family.

As for 2020 itself, everyone is in the same boat. It will objectively be a shite year.

Subjectively though, 2019 was a shite year too, so it's going from bad to bad.

"As for 2020 itself, everyone is in the same boat. It will objectively be a shite year."

Everyone is not in the same boat. Same storm, different boats.

@Rundownoj sounds like you've had a very tough time, and now this tragedy as well. Life does seem especially cruel, unfair and relentless atm. I also would quite like to get off the planet right now, keep telling myself to "get a grip", but it's easier said than done. Just trying to stay as positive as I can, which today isn't very much tbh. Sorry for the ramble and rubbish pep talk, just know that you're not alone in feeling like this .

@Rundownoj I am really sorry.

Just remember you can always vent on here, there will always be someone listening

I am finding that for many their way of coping is positivity but it’s the same positivity that is the reminder of just how shit Covid impacts unfairly. I have had to remove myself from social media.