Are all men messy?

[username58]

My boyfriend is a lovely guy but he's just SO messy and it really gets to me sometimes. I'm not a clean clean person and I'm far from tidy but I like some things in a certain way that isn't unreasonable - towel put back on the holder, toilet roll to be changed when you finish the one before, toothpaste put back on the rack when finished with etc. I feel like I complain at my bf a lot about this kind of stuff and his response is 'I just didn't see it' or 'I don't notice these things' and when I talk to friends or people in work they say similar things about their partners/husbands and it got me wondering if all men are the same or are we just the idiots who put up with it?

Nope. A manchild is messy, mature men aren't. My dad and husband are very tidy. In well over 20 years I have never had to pick up after my husband and I bloody well wouldn't. I'm not his mum.

I’ve lived with three men and only one was untidy, he was also the only one of the three that had never lived alone. My DH is clean, tidy and self sufficient and annoyingly in all the time I’ve known him he has never lost a sock in the wash.

I don’t think men are necessarily messier than women but if an equally messy man and woman are together then the woman will cave first because deep down she knows the buck stops with her. And he will cave last because he also knows this.

I have no empirical evidence for this obvious, just my own experience!

My fiancé thinks he's tidy but he's not! OK he's not too bad really but he has some annoying habits! And is disorganised!! The thing he does that drives me nuts is leaving empty boxes everywhere! Like he'll empty the last drinks can out but just leave the box!! Just why?!!
But I know it could be worse. After I left my ex-husband I dated a guy who could barely look after himself. He was late 30's so should have known better. I kid you not - this is no exaggeration - he asked me how to make a cup of instant coffee!!! It contributed to me calling a day on our relationship definitely.

Of course not. I've been in housing for 30 years and the most manky are women. By a hair.

My DH is very tidy, much more than me.

DH is far tidier than me. He will do things that need doing before I have even noticed they need doing. I am naturally messy but work hard to be better. I am the female equivalent to that stereotype of the man that never sees mess, it just doesn't bother me so I don't notice it but as before, I work at doing things and like to use a schedule so things get done.

With me it's also stuff that I'm having to clean/sort after him that wouldn't be a thing if he wasn't there. An example is he'll dump an unripped box on the floor underneath where I hang the bag for recycling so I'll have to go after him, rip the box up and put it in the bag which he knows is there for recycling or he'll leave bits of hot chocolate or sugar on the surface and either say he didn't notice or that he was going to clean it up later...3 days later it's still there because I've refused to do it, and then I end up doing it anyway. I wonder if I can be arsed for it or if it would be easier if I was single again.

I'm the messy one.

In his defence he is better than when we first met and he seems to be trying. He lives with his parents so that doesn't help in making him be more responsible as his mother or their once weekly cleaner does everything and he has to take no responsibility for anything.

I think it is to do with how we are raised which will dictate how clean, tidy and self sufficient we will become as adults.

My DH is much , much tidier than me but I am extremely clean compared to him so we make quite a good team.

He went to boarding school from being 8 years old, so learned very early in life that he had to organise his uniform etc for next day and had to look after his own belongings etc because no-one else would be doing it for him.

There's something quite sad when I think of that little boy but it has made him a lovely husband and he is so appreciative if anyone does anything for him - like cooking his supper or ironing his shirts.

Mine is the opposite to messy and it's really annoying!

In my experience men don’t think about things in advance like women do, and don’t care about mess as much. Am thinking of several relationships and two brothers. So for example while I know I need to wash the bedding so we have a fresh set when we need it, DP just shoves it in the basket and doesn’t think about it. He was like this when he lived alone and often would run out of clean bedding etc but it just didn’t bother him. It’s a good job I fancy him so much 😅. My friends husband is extremely tidy so I know they exist I just haven’t cross paths with many

I'm much messier than any man I've ever been with. They've all picked up after me!

Urg this drives me mad.

My parent we is absolutely amazing in every single other area. But he is f*cking messy.

He leaves bathroom towels on the bedroom floor after use EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, puts dirty plates all over the kitchen. They could be nicely piled by the side of the sink, but instead they are dotted all over the sides of the kitchen until there is no space. Throws his entire wardrobe on the floor every time he gets dressed and then just leaves it there until I put it away (months later).

I let it go until recently, and now I keep on at him to stop doing these things and now he thinks I'm a massive nag and gets really p*ssed off with me.

I think they just get used to us doing it for them and it doesn't even enter their head.

Not at all. I do think it's how some men were raised. My DP is extremely tidy, and everything has a place, and he's very particular about things. It makes living with him a dream! However he's the oldest child, had the most responsibility and is in a job in the medical field which requires extreme tidiness and cleanliness.

On the other hand, my brother is an absolute pig. But he was the youngest of 3, and my mum just did everything for him.

I'm the messy unorganised one in our house. My husband was a industrial specialist cleaner until recently. He is up at 6.00 every morning cleaning. Only thing I do cleaning wise is the washing and ironing.

My husband is much tidier than me

The cleanest house I've ever lived in was a house share of 3 boys and 2 girls!

DH cleans as often as I do. I'm better at the actual cleaning but he is the better tidier.

Yes OP all 4 billion men on the planet are exactly the same . Or could it be you’ve got a duffer? My 10 year old can generally be relied to find a new toilet roll when she finishes the old one. ...

Nope. My ex husband had much higher standards of cleaning than me. He grew up with an alcoholic mother who didn't really prioritize cleaning so he couldn't stand mess.

No.
But sometimes the women in their lives facilitate the manboy thing by taking over from where their mothers left off.
Point out to him that you're not his mother and to stop acting like he's your child who needs picking up after.

My husband is messy but so are my daughter's (although they have the excuse of being teenagers). Not all men are like thos. My ex wasn't and my dad and brothers are pretty tidy and do the cleaning.
I think the problem is !y husband has never lived alone. Straight from living with his parents to moving in with me. IME men (and probably women too) are better when they've lived on their own because there's no-one to clear up for them.

Both of my husbands and my boyfriends were slobs.
I'm a neat freak so this really didn't play out well.
I live on my own now and my house is permanently sorted. It beats constantly providing a maid service. Those big feet and dirty hands, it's like having a massive St Bernard dog around all the time.

My DH is really messy. Clothes on the floor when he gets undressed, stuff all over the kitchen when he cooks, cant(wont) hang a towel up neatly, socks discarded under the sofa cushions etc. Drives me insane! My Ddad was very neat. When he stayed his room was super neat and everything really regimented, I thought it was to do with being in the raf.

No. I am the messy one but I try not to be!