AIBU pregnancy size comments?

[Smeghead97]

So I have always been a bit on the bigger side. Never majorly overweight or obese but certainly not what some might call skinny. Most of my life despite looking like I could lose a few pounds I've been smack bang in the middle of a healthy weight and bmi.

Up until about a year before pregnancy I gained weight and would then have been classed as over weight but even still i was a size 10/12. Since I've been pregnant I've gained weight. No swelling just some weight on my tummy, boobs and thighs.

Ever since I've been pregnant even since before it was even noticeable or id gained weight people that knew I was pregnant have made comments like 'youve gotten big' or 'your big for how far along you are" 'your baby is gonna be really big' ect. The last one pissed me off because at week 27 my baby actually stopped growing (luckily im week 30 and he's growing fine again). Anyway last week I posted a picture of me in a sports bra and shorts showing off my bump talking about how I couldn't wait to be a mother on instagram. For the first time in ages I actually felt beautiful with my size. The first and only comment I get is my stepmother saying something along the lines of 'gosh are you sure your not having twins 😂' which I'm not. I laughed it off in the comments and pretended it was funny but in reality all these comments are starting to hurt. I was under the impression that most women thought it was okay to gain weight during pregnancy as long as your not obese. I could never dream of making comments about someone size like that and general tend to think if you've got nothing nice to say just say nothing at all. I know I'm probably just being sensitive but surely everyone that's said these things to me knows how hormonal us pregnant women can get? I feel like utter shit because all of my pregnant friends have been getting nothing but compliments about how they are glowing, beautiful, radiant ect. It's mostly been my mother and stepmum (they're married) saying these things AIBU ?

Aw OP I imagine that must be really hurtful. I absolutely don't think you're being unreasonable and I bet you do look beautiful. Ignore any stupid comments - they're rude and ignorant.

Ooh and by the way - I looked absolutely cack when pregnant. Pale (anemia) and washed out the whole way through. My pregnant friends looked radiant while my mum rather charitably said to me at 38 weeks she was "sure I'd get the glow soon" . The baby definitely came before any glow did.

Thank you,
That makes me feel much less of a crazy hormonal woman 💖

Aw yeah I've had the whole 'you look sick' because of anemia thing too. Family can be wonderful 😉

When you get pregnant your body suddenly seems to become public property. Can you imagine any other time is your life when random strangers would reach out a hand and rub you on the belly? Thankfully only happened to me once!

I didn’t put on much weight when pregnant and had a perfectly normal size and shape bump and the number of people - usually colleagues - who asked if I was having twins from about 6 months on was incredible. One woman I’d meet with a couple of times a month said, every single fucking time, “sure there’s not two in there? Look at you!” I looked her in the eye and said “no there isn’t, and thanks”. Normally a nice sensible sort of woman but she was obsessed with my mid section and number of babies.

It’s worse if it’s family members, sorry you’re going through this, but I don’t think they’re saying you’re fat. People just feel compelled to comment on a bump. Their deal, not yours.

I’m sure you look beautiful.

It doesn’t stop once your baby is here btw. People will either tell you they’re tiny or huge. You’ll probably hear both irrespective of their actual size.

DD was 7lb 2 at birth and for months people said she was tiny. She was rocketing up the charts and not that small at all. Now shes quite tall for her age and I’m always being told what a big girl she is.

You get used to it.

“You’re massive!” Reply “wow, thank you”

“Your baby is tiny/huge” Reply “really? I hadn’t noticed” or “no she’s not”

Imo you smile and say it's 50 %baby and 50 %cake.
And ignore.
Once your dc arrives it will be an array of comments..
Wow its tiny /huge.
Wow look at its hair /it's bald.
Wow its loud /too quiet.
Wow long legs /short legs.
Wow like it's df /mil..
This is the preparation stage for all that is to come.

Aha fair enough, I guess I better start getting used to the comments and figure out some snarky come backs lol

It's frustrating when people comment on your size during pregnancy (or otherwise) - I was always small for dates and had a very bump. It was quite anxiety producing when people couldn't believe how small I was, including various hospital staff. I was having to have extra growth scans so when people mentioned it, it made me feel very stressed, as if it was my fault for doing something wrong. She was 6lbs in the end, so small but not tiny. I am sorry it's made you feel bad. I bet you look lovely.

You have my sympathy OP, I used to get a lot of comments I even had someone say the same to me about it being twins 🙄

I don't know what it is about being pregnant that makes you 'public property' if that makes sense. For what it's worth I was a tiny size 8 just before I fell pregnant but really bloated & put it on around thighs, bum & boobs & like you I got a lot of comments. Even days after I had the baby my sister remarked on my belly still being big WTF! Oddly my 1st also stopped growing at 29 weeks (he was fine!).

No real advice OP just that you have my sympathy!

Damn I can imagine that was very anxiety inducing . I'm sorry you had to go through that. I think my only defense against all these comments about my size is going to have to be to develop a thicker skin 💙

Oh god I feel your pain! Constantly got comments with both my pregnancies. Particularly the “are you sure it’s not twins” line.
I also had a work colleague constantly comment on what I was eating - if I took a second biscuit or ordered a side of fries she’d immediately say “oh, I see you’re taking eating-for-2 very seriously”.
It gave me violent thoughts!

My' of small stature' mil commented I was still carrying baby weight when ds was a fortnight old... when I had driven into town to meet up with her (won't go into how she suggested I bf in the disabled loo)- I was telling her how my friend had kindly given me several used items - she was horrified as she like to buy new only and from a particular store only... I suggested she could replace the items for ds but she was welcome to keep the toddler step..

I think the main reason it pisses me off is because the people that are making all these comments towards me know that in school and college I had an eating disorder. They know I'm already insecure about my weight and it's my first pregnancy. I'm 22 I just wanna feel confident and beautiful during my pregnancy lol. I think for every bitchy remark I get told I'm gonna give one back 😂

Ah yes I got this too. To be fair I was massive - big baby and a penchant for chocolate fingers.

I found the looks worse than anyone saying anything. I could always see my MIL eyeing me up like a prized pig and commenting on my swollen ankles EVERY time I saw her which was about every other day.

'Gosh you're ankles are so swollen!'
Me - 'yes they are and will be until the baby arrives'
2 days later -
'Gosh you're ankles are so swollen!'

I think the thing is they mean it as a compliment, they are not referring to fat, or weight, they are referring to a bump which is meant to be big. I guess we are so programmed as women to think that the smaller we are the better, that it’s hard to get our heads around the idea that we are meant to be getting big, and people are celebrating our bigness.

Whilst I was pregnant my mum called me specifically to tell me how far my legs & ankles had gotten. I feel your pain

*fat

I had this a lot, OP, particularly the twins comment, but I just carry big. It never bothered me because I've got no hang-ups about weight. I've always been size 10/12 and within a healthy weight (and most of my family are overweight/obese so I didn't take it as a judgement when they made comments). I think you're seeing negativity in the comments because of your pre-existing insecurities and they probably don't mean any harm. Have you tried asking them not to do it because it upsets you?

Don't forget that how big your bump is, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with your own weight gain.

We all carry differently, but there's a whole lot of baby, fluid and placenta in there. Never mind all the extra swelling.

People forget that how the baby is lying can have an impact on bump size, same as the amount of waters around the baby. It's just their ignorance showing, although I know it doesn't make you feel much better when you hear the comments.

I remember with my first baby I was asked if I was sure I was pregnant and not just a little constipated

The one set of people who never remark on someone’s pregnancy shape is their midwives. Obviously they’d relay any concerns but never throw away personal remarks. (That’s certainly my experience as a midwife anyway)

The best reply is to say that you have had professional advice and the professionals are pleased with your progress so no need to worry thanks.

There is indeed a mad lack of filter that many people develop when they meet a pregnant woman like they simply have to say something about their size. And it does cause worry and hurt.

So YANBU at all.

Congratulations 😊

Most of the time, I think people are just making conversation. In the same day, I had comments that my bump was huge and tiny for the number of weeks. I saw my midwife the following day and was measuring spot on for my gestation. Just smile and nod.

True of bump shape MatildaTheCat but I got a lot of comments from my midwives about my horrible fragmin bruises. It was like they’d never known anyone with them before. It wasn’t an attractive bump naked with black and blue circles but at times I felt like a circus attraction!

My bump was huge, as in had to stop driving at 8 months because I didn't fit behind the steering wheel huge, and measuring 45 weeks pregnant at 38 weeks huge. Arguing with strangers that I really did have 3 months to go, no it really is not twins and out growing maternity clothes in the second trimester. I also learned BSL for "Whoa! Check out the bumps on them, they're HUGE!!!" as the school for the deaf followed aquanatal.

By the time I was done with the nausea, I'd lost weight and in the next 4.5 months, I'd gained 4.5 stones, 50% of my mid-pregnancy weight. I looked like a weeble and don't know how I balanced on my very small feet. Until late on, I kep my waist at rear view, then would turn around and stun people with bus-like proportions.

People do comment and at least I didn't get contradictory comments about being small/ big It's good practice for an opinion over everything during the baby years.