Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Liking the ex's picture

16 replies

Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 14:23

Nc for this. I know I'm probably being unreasonable, but I need honest opinions.

I've been seeing someone for the past month, (known them for years prior). He was in a two year relationship which ended in November last year. He says he's over her and is happy now.
He still has all the fun pictures on them on facebook which I'm a little off with, but I don't expect him to remove them. He's said he will though, that's up to him.
What I'm a little jealous of though is she posted a selfie a few days ago and he liked it. It was the first one in months that he has liked. I posted one yesterday, and nothing.
Am I being unreasonable for being a little pissed about this? Or wouldn't you let it bother you?

OP posts:
babylukesmum · 31/07/2020 15:12

I wouldn't like that either.

DelurkingAJ · 31/07/2020 15:17

Are they still part of the same circle of friends? I would guess they will be if they knew each other before. In which case the default may well be that as it didn’t work they go back to being friends with the bonus that they now know that going out doesn’t work. Very common amongst my friends at uni.

I’m still friends with many of my ex bfs (one is godfather to DS2) and I like their (and their DW’s) pictures as we’re friends. DH would have been dumped pronto if he’d decided I couldn’t do so when we’d been going out a few months.

Given they were clearly mates before I think that if you trust him then you accept that they’re mates.

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 15:34

@DelurkingAJ No, they weren't friends prior to dating and he hasn't given me the impression that they are still friends now. They don't talk as far as I'm aware, and don't see each other.

OP posts:
DelurkingAJ · 31/07/2020 15:37

Oh, I see...I misread you OP, apologies. You’ve been friends with DP. Then just have a non confrontational conversation like you would as friends.

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 18:29

We weren't friends as such prior, just knew him. But yes, I know I should talk to him about it, I just don't know what to say. I don't want to come across as controlling! And I don't want to let my insecurities show.

OP posts:
DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 31/07/2020 18:33

What brought about him saying he will remove the pictures? Did you say you didnt like it?

The picture probably popped up and yours didn't.

Has he given you any reason to believe he isn't trustworthy?

You really need to get hold of your feelings here, it won't end well if you start being jealous and controlling and trying to erase his past.

EmbarrassedUser · 31/07/2020 18:38

That’s a toughie. I don’t know you’re situation so I’m not going to comment on whether he may/may not fancy her (not sure you even asked that actually?!) The one thing that would annoy me though is that it seems a bit disrespectful to you, especially as you’re still quite a new couple. Perhaps if you’d been going out for a few years and an old memory popped up then it would seem different but I can see where you’re coming from.

EmbarrassedUser · 31/07/2020 18:39

*your situation

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 18:48

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult He was showing me something on his Facebook and had to scroll past the photos of them together. He said he will take them off soon. I told him it's up to him.
No, he's never given me any reason to doubt him. I'm not worried about him cheating or anything.
I'm in no way trying to erase his past, but to me that's just it. She's his past, not our present or future. You could be right though about my pictures not showing.

OP posts:
hellywelly3 · 31/07/2020 18:52

No need to remove pictures of past relationships everyone has a past and that makes them who they are today. It’s just a like maybe he just thought she looked happy and thought that was nice.

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 19:42

@EmbarrassedUser No I'm not worried that he still fancies her at all, he's moved on and has told me he's happy with me and said he's never clicked with anyone this much before so I have no worries there. It's literally just the fact he liked her picture, but not mine, that is getting to me a bit.

OP posts:
Sparticuscaticus · 31/07/2020 19:45

It's just fb (or IG or ..), it's not real life
He's dating you not her

Hitting a like symbol on a photo isn't a big deal . I'd be more worried if he commented weirdly

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 19:46

@hellywelly3 Maybe, but then doesn't he think that I look nice too?
I know I'm being irrational and looking far too much into this, but I don't have a lot of confidence so it's knocked me a little.

OP posts:
hellywelly3 · 31/07/2020 19:54

Maybe he just didn’t see your photo, it’s strange what goes on Facebooks news feed. Don’t rate yourself on what others think of you x

tankflybos · 31/07/2020 20:07

I've got all my pics on fbook other than one ex who cheated on me. Wanker Grin

I also like their pics, wish happy bday and they do in return. It's not a big deal, everyone has long moved on

Original poster
Usernamechangee · 31/07/2020 21:28

He can do what he wants with his photos or can like and comment what he wants (within reason), just a little put out that mine didn't get anything. But as @hellywelly3 says, maybe he didn't see it. Think I will bring it up casually and see what he says.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread