do I need to make it clear who is attending

[questioningquestions]

I get quite anxious about social contact with people (especially phone calls, messages etc) so am probably over worrying about this.

Am due to attend a celebration for family friend shortly. Arrangements have all been made by their children - originally when first arranged back in April/May it was going to be a get together in the park but for comfort (and because places have now reopened) it's been changed to a nice pub that does food and has a big garden. all fine.

I'm going with my partner, we've been together several years but don't live together - everyone else going is married or completely single. I mentioned it to a colleague today who said 'they do know you're taking your partner don't they, you need to tell them as it might affect numbers.

which then started me worrying. should i have made it clear we're both going or will it be assumed? should I tell the organiser or just turn up, or is that going to cause a problem? Or do I look odd if I contact them now?

Am in a proper tizz so please advise!

Like I said, for 4 months I haven't seen a single person outside my household. Not face to face, not on zoom, nothing.

Would you like a badge?

That was your choice. It makes no difference to what the guidelines are now and whether you should be observing them or not.

@PolkadotsAndMoonbeams you might want to switch the news on.
I’ve just come from a thread where the OPs wider family had 31 people at a gathering yesterday.

How about you do us all a favour and don’t go.

I’m sick to death of this.

I don't require a badge :) I'm simply making it clear that I have observed the guidelines completely and far more strictly than the vast majority.

Outside my house currently are numerous children from different households playing together (and going in and out of each others houses); last night a neighbour had about 20 people over for a BBQ (and I'm sure will be repeated tonight by them and indeed all the other people who have big gatherings in the last few months). I think the people who repeatedly break the rules are far more deserving of criticism than someone attending a one off meal of the type I'm going to.

But other people breaking the rules doesn’t make it ok for you to do so (although you say you are not breaking rules anyway)

If you stole from a shop because you saw someone else doing it, it wouldn’t make it ok.

You are being utterly unreasonable and irresponsible to breach guidelines on social gatherings.

I dont care if you've abided by all the rules to now and if 'everyone else is doing it'.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing-after-4-july

Yep, I've seen now! Such a shame for those getting married tomorrow especially (not great for any of them, but the day before...).

In some ways it is easier to have one rule with no exceptions, but I feel very sorry for the people it's affecting.

@questioningquestions

I don't require a badge :) I'm simply making it clear that I have observed the guidelines completely and far more strictly than the vast majority.

Outside my house currently are numerous children from different households playing together (and going in and out of each others houses); last night a neighbour had about 20 people over for a BBQ (and I'm sure will be repeated tonight by them and indeed all the other people who have big gatherings in the last few months). I think the people who repeatedly break the rules are far more deserving of criticism than someone attending a one off meal of the type I'm going to.

Are you aware that the infection is growing again? That more restrictions are being imposed?

Do you think it's ok if every one of us 65 million brits break the rules just a little bit today because we've been so good up until now? What do you think would happen?

This is just ridiculous.

I'm in a tiny minority of people who has observed the rules to the letter, yet I'm the one getting grief for it. Frankly I wish I hadn't posted.

Go on the thread where the OPs family had a party for 31 people and give them shit rather than taking out your frustrations on me especially when I'd not even asked for advice on whether I should be attending.

You do understand the way risk works? That repeated breaches, being in and out of different peoples houses, in close contact, increases your exposure far more than going to a pub once. Which you all will have done anyway.

Effectively what I'm doing is no different to going for a meal (which is allowed) and happening to know and speak to the people at the next table (which is also allowed). So by the letter of the rules I'm not breaching anything.

On answer to the original question, if only you were invited by the host and not your partner, I'd assume they think you're coming alone unless you're living together/married or you've discussed otherwise.

@questioningquestions

I would just send a quick message asking if you can bring your +1 :)

Have fun!

I assume you are paying for yourselves?

If so he’d be ok to attend

If not, then ask and offer to pay

Yes let them know, most places are taking bookings and not walk-ins now.

That repeated breaches, being in and out of different peoples houses, in close contact, increases your exposure far more than going to a pub once. Which you all will have done anyway
I haven’t.
I haven’t been to the pub.
I haven’t seen my wider family.
I’m not breaking the rules.

Because I’d like my children to start school again in September.

Staying on topic

I would message the host something like “strange days: occurred to me I should double-check if this is a solo invite or if it is fine to bring Fred”

Not on topic: I personally wouldn’t go, but I am not eating in pubs or any other establishments these days. Takeout only for us.

So by the letter of the rules I'm not breaching anything.

Absolute rubbish. They’re clear. Two households or six people (outside) from different households.

Don’t kid yourself that you’re not doing the wrong thing. I hope the pub checks and kicks you all out. I doubt that will happen though.

Well, I'd go - and if the pub is busy anyway, I can't see that it makes any difference whether you pick up COVID from friends/family or random bloke at the next table. Enjoy your day out - but don't assume your partner is invited because some pubs won't allow walk-ins.

If every household has their own table due to social distancing rules then there will definitely be room for your partner?

Op, you aren’t the only one observing guidelines, there are hundreds of thousands of us doing it.

The infection rate is rising and now you think this is ok. If you and dp go, that’s four households at least.

Do you not understand - you are the problem.

Tiny minority of people? I think you'll find the majority of people have been following the rules. It's the minority who've caused this. So don't give yourself a pat on the back thinking you're the one of the few.