Sneaking about

[Leadon]

Hi all, just hoping for a bit of advice before I go in all guns blazing. Had a massive falling out with OH a few months ago (drug related and chatting to others online) kicked him out and he came back with the deal he comes off everything, stops the chatting and gave me the pin to his phone.

Hated checking his phone so only done it a handful of times then felt more reassured so stopped.......had a feeling he was back on the drugs at the start of the week so checked, no confirmation of buying drugs but lots of love and kisses messages to some woman....he said it was all one way (hers of course 🙄) left it to see what happens then went to check today and he has changed his pin. To me it seems massively suspicious but interested to see what others might do.....aibu or being made a fool of. Been together 18 years.

Thanks in advance for any replies

A cheating druggy - what a catch op..
Get rid and get tested for sti..

She lives the other side of the country from us so pretty sure there has been nothing physical, being treated like shit by him and hin blaming his depression, saying I'm breaking him every time I try to bring any thing up that I'm upset about has me thinking am I the one being unreasonable.....think its saying a lot that I am not even upset this time, more angry

You’re right OP.
That your upset has been replaced by anger speaks volumes.
I think you know what to do.

I know what I should do, its terrifying after so long together but think I deserve to love with a bit of respect

*live not love

OP, if you let him get away with changing his pin when he specifically agreed that was part of the arrangement then he'll have no respect for you at all.

It's a bit like being married to a child if you have to keep checking up on him, isn't it?

I'm not sure I could be bothered.