Having an opinion on my partners business

[zoezoeok89]

I’ve just been called a bully by my partner for nagging him to enforce further rules at his tattoo shop. He has already refused a couple I wanted to implement such as limiting staff working on a daily basis. He insists they don’t need to as there is enough room to social distance. We have a 5 month old baby and I’m a first time mum. We had my high risk dad stranded with us since the beginning of lock down so I’m very used to practically shielding. I’m still scared. I’m one of the paranoid ones.

We aren’t in a very hard hit area and I’ve asked my partner to enforce rules stating people cannot travel from hard hit areas or areas of lock down to come for a tattoo. He has just stormed upstairs calling me a bully and mocking me saying “yeah right so if I don’t do this when we are definitely going to catch coronavirus and die”

I’m at my wits ends with this. He’s only just been allowed to reopen the shop and they’ve got other precautions in place but he doesn’t seem to think this is any of my business and gets really angry when I bring it up. I’ve said if he’d actually implement the changes and reassure me then he wouldn’t have to hear it anymore. I am scared for us all and my baby. Am I being unreasonable?

Thanks

From your last post, are you expecting him not to go into work?

@HappytheElf

Yes little lady, don’t keep nagging the big boss man, he knows best 🙄🤮

I have my own business and I would tell dh to keep his snout out if he tried to interfere like the OP is. He knows the business on a superficial basis but I know it inside out, I know best when it comes to my business. I'm sure the OPs do feels the same. Nothing to do with him being a man and her a woman.

There is no proof the virus is airborne. It is carried in droplets - two totally different things.

Businesses are incredibly difficult to run. Especially if there are staff to manage and strict health and safety policies to adhere to.

If he wants his business to survive - he has to go in and work.

Life has to continue to go on to some extent. His shop sounds low risk and he is already taking steps to reduce the risk even further.

You cannot put your health anxiety on him and the business. course people are worried but I think you concerns are bordering on irrational and I can see why your partner is annoyed.

Yabu - you want his staff to work less (which would affect them and their families) because you said so? It's not your business.

I’m surprised by everyone’s reaction. This isn’t a case of stamping my feet to get it my way, I’m just genuinely concerned about my family. I do feel I have a say given this is my long term partners business and like I said we have a baby together, whose life depends entirely on decisions my partner and I make.

Yes if I had it my way my partner wouldn’t be going back to work yet. Things are still bad in the UK and when the cases are lower I’d feel more comfortable.

And to the person that said there’s no proof it’s airborne, there is - and it makes total sense too.

You can be concerned of course, but you can’t expect your partner not to go into his business.

You have to give him the credit that he knows what he is doing. I have.

First of all tattoo parlours, as you know, already worked to very high and strict hygiene conditions. I've been tattooed in several different ones, and visited plenty of others and they are never close to each other for discretionary reasons. Of all the businesses that were allowed to open, frankly, they should have been among the first because they were already doing most of the things places like hairdressers should be doing now anyway. (my tattoo artist told me that they are ordering masks/gloves/sanitiser for the local hairdressers from their usual supplier who isn't currently accepting new business, that's how organised and clean they are)

Neither of us have been through a pandemic before, how does he know any more than I do?

Because there are guidelines for business owners. I get that you have a young baby so I'll assume that you spend most of your time handling the baby. Your husband has much more time to find out what he's supposed to be doing. In the end you should be supporting him - unless you are independently wealthy and he only works for fun, he's putting food on your table.

He’s not putting any food on my table. We are 50/50 but we won’t starve if he doesn’t go back this month. I’m still employed on my maternity.

Now you are just splitting hairs.

It’s his own business, he needs to go back. What makes next month better than this month?

YABU. It's his business - let him run it how he sees fit.

I run my own business and I wouldn't take kindly to DH sticking his nose in.

He’s not putting any food on my table. We are 50/50 but we won’t starve if he doesn’t go back this month. I’m still employed on my maternity.

still applies. Stop trying to meddle in his business.

No you're not a bully.
However, neither of you are communicating very well.
These are important things you are discussing and I do think your opinion and feelings should be taken into consideration.
This is his business and he has to work out what works whilst keeping everyone safe.
It's a shame you don't seem to be able to have a grown-up conversation with each other where you listen to each other and are able to share your thoughts and concerns without arguing.

@Voice0fReason - username checks out!

OP; you're not a bully and I understand your concern about your family. You need to trust your DP in that he is also concerned about your family, and will be doing everything he can to ensure his work place is as safe as it can possibly be - do you honestly think he would knowingly put you all at risk?

Running a business in the current climate must be incredibly stressful, I think you should explain that you were fuelled by concern, but that you're on the same team and as long as he is taking all sensible precautions (which aren't yours to dictate - imagine if he was an employee rather than the Owner, having to follow someone else's rules), then you will trust him to be doing the best he can to keep you all safe, whilst keeping the business running.

Keep communicating, you will both feel more involved in keeping your family safe which should help you to feel less anxious.

As a first time mum it is totally natural to be dry, very concerned about your child and hypersensitive to any possible risks. But please do remember that Covid poses no real risk to babies and small children (unless they have a very serious underlying health condition).

Appreciate your Dad may be a different story.