To have given feedback to therapist?

[Bouncingbelle]

Will try not to be too outing. My DC has therapy twice a week normally in person, but due to covid has been via video calls. We missed a few online sessions due to unavoidable issues. Was emailing the head therapist today re DC's lack of progress,not knowing what to do for best,blah blah.she booked us an appointment with lead therapist to talk through things, all chatty friendly.
We then had an online therapy session with one of our therapists & for the 2nd week in a row had NO verbal instructons/hints/feedbacks, she literally just watched me play with DC.
Due to this being the 2nd time this had happened, I emailed head therapist & made sure I framed it very much in a "I need more feedback" kind of way, rather than "why isnt she giving more help?". I then got an email back saying all our sessions were being cancelled till the lead therapist returns from holiday when they will "review" our place! So this (in my eyes) has blatantly happened cos i 'critisised' one of their therapists!
This therapy is very specific and not cheap. Surely I should be able to say it's not meeting our needs without it being cancelled, as ultimately it is DC who suffers.

Was I BU to say I wasnt getting feedback?

50/50 split.could you tell me why you think IABU as I honestly dont see it :(

If you put it politely then I don't think you were being unreasonable. Seems odd to just cancel all your sessions.

If there's a reason they're not speaking on the calls they could have just explained what it is. Or taken your feedback onboard.

All seems a bit odd

That's the thing, I made a point of phrasing it in a "I need more guidance" type way, rather than in a "this therapist is a bit shit" way. We had missed a few online sessions but this obviously wasnt an issue when we had been setting up other meetings earlier!

That’s very odd, are they recording the sessions? I’m thinking if they were they might want the lead therapist to review the sessions before using more of your time and money for something that isn’t helpful?

The missed sessions, was it you or them that cancelled and did you give reasonable notice of not attending? I’ve worked in places where if clients cancel X number of sessions at short notice, or don’t attend X number of session without notice their place in the service is reviewed. Could it be that non-attendance coupled with you saying you’re not getting what you need has made them think a proper review is needed to make sure things are on track?

They arent recorded, no, tho second therapist used to also 'sit in' on the sessions at the start of lockdown.

No, I didnt give enough notice when cancelling the sessions. This came about after a few horrendous nights with DC (who is a toddler) who fell asleep and missed the sessions. We obviously still paid for the missed sessions.

Surely if they just wanted a review, they wouldnt cancel the sessions (which I have already paid for!) until mid august when senior therapist returns? It just smacks of "how dare you criticise us" when I think "not giving me feedback isnt helping me!"

Its really upset me but now I'm getting angry about it. And worried that now DC is left with nothing!

To be honest, I probably would cancel the sessions until a review could take place. There’s no point in you paying for a service that isn’t meeting your needs - they may decide to change therapists or hope they can move to in person sessions again which might be more helpful for you. The therapist maybe working to a particular model and may need guidance to know how to do what you’re asking for in terms of feedback, and will probably want to discuss with their clinical supervisor.

I’d expect any therapy practice working with children to be very used to parents criticising or querying the therapy being offered.

I would be asking for clarification about the money you’ve paid upfront for sessions though to make sure it’s either refunded to you or is used for future sessions, ie that they aren’t charging you when they’ve cancelled.

To be honest, I’d be much more concerned about a therapist who kept on taking your money knowing you were unhappy about the way therapy was being provided.

Oh and I don’t think for a second you were unreasonable in your request, it’s wholly reasonable to say what you need in any kind of therapy, it sounds like the therapist is out of their depth (second therapist sitting in on sessions), in which case they’re right to stop, and have the clinical lead review before continuing - but they should have explained that fully to you.

Is it for ABA? I'm struggling with the online side of this... I really need 1 to 1 in person again.

100% you did a reasonable thing.

Professional therapists seek out and incorporate feedback into their strategies. As well as using it with their supervision group or bosses.

It’s annoying that they’ve pulled the plug, but in practical terms you weren’t getting any benefit anyway. It’s worth full participation in their future review process- ask them what the process is from the beginning, and how you can be involved.

Good luck with everything, it’s a bit depressing they’ve been so unprofessional when they have vulnerable clients.

I don't think you're really in a position to say you're not making progress when you missed sessions.

Also don't think you're unreasonable asking for more feedback. If they're just cancelling your sessions until a review and then they start up again I think that's fair. If they cancel them and refuse to start up again, it's not.

@ghostoast yes it's like ABA. I'm struggling with it online & they know that.

I know we've missed a few sessions during lockdown but we've been with them almost 8 months and had never previously missed sessions.

I'm more annoyed now that I had just paid the monthly fees the day before this happened and they havent offered to refund them.

As an autistic person knowing it's ABA now is really making me wince

I think you need to provide the lead therapist feedback about how your feedback was received. Sounds like the shadowe e was out of their depth.

Ttim I thought ABA wasnt recommended now too...

They’re right to cancel the sessions until they can review them. You missed several sessions and are now saying these ones aren’t working for you, so of course a review is in order.

Whatever your reasons for missing the sessions, they weren’t good enough. Yes you still paid for them but you wasted their time and basically gave them the impression you weren’t interested enough to make sure you didn’t miss them.

The missed sessions were a few weeks ago now tho, we have had Therapy twice weekly since then. The feedback wasn’t that the therapy isn’t ‘working’ as about the fact I had absolutely NO guidance given to me during the last two sessions with this therapist (we have two different therapists) whereas the other gives a lot of suggestions.
I admit we were struggling with therapy in lockdown but this cancellation of sessions only happened once I had given the feedback about the quality on input we had got.
I don’t know what a ‘review’ will involve and what it will change - we will still have missed some sessions and my D.C. will have been 3 weeks with no therapy input other than from me. They are only bringing back children who normally have multiple herapy sessions a week in for face to face sessions and D.C. isn’t on that list.
It isn’t exactly ABA, but for similar issues.

@heartsonacake I do appreciate your points, they are making me see it from the other side. If the cancellation had happened straight after the last missed session, I might have accepted it better.