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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you complain to nursery?

32 replies

alwaystired234 · 30/07/2020 20:21

DD has been attending nursery for around 3 weeks and yesterday when I went to pick her up there was a member of staff I hadn't met before. She didn't seem to recognise me and didn't know who my child was. She sort of just looked blankly at me and I stated that I'm here for x. She then got her for me and we left. It just unsettled me a bit as she didn't know me or who my child was. Not they would but it just got me thinking that anyone could pick her up and there was no question asked. Should I complain or am I being dramatic?

OP posts:
RedRumTheHorse · 30/07/2020 20:22

No complain. She should have at least checked your child knew who you were.

Sevo7 · 30/07/2020 20:23

Is there any chance she said “....mummy is here” and someone who does know you verified it?

If not I’d definitely complain as that is a huge safeguarding risk.

Runbitchrun · 30/07/2020 20:24

Difficult to say from the detail you’ve given. How do you get into the nursery? Were you buzzed in so she’d know it was ok to hand over to you?

alwaystired234 · 30/07/2020 20:26

@Runbitchrun no you're not buzzed in, they do pick ups by the exit gate. Like what they'd do in a primary schools. They confirm the children and let them out

OP posts:
SkyeIsPink · 30/07/2020 20:26

She should have at least checked your child knew who you were

Surely, depends on the age of the child? My DS has been going to nursery since he was 6 months old so how would you check lol.

I'm not sure I would log it as a formal complaint yet. I'd explain what happened and ask them to advise on the procedures they have in place and provide assurances it won't happen again.

Russell19 · 30/07/2020 20:27

Well she wouldn't recognise you if you've only been going 3 weeks and you've not crossed paths with her before. She may have checked with someone else who ylu were. However, at school this sometimes happens when parents send friends/family etc to collect the children. I always ask the child (I'm a teacher) who it is but always feel a bit iffy and wish parents would let me know. Your child may be too young to ask though, I don't know.

Mylittlepony374 · 30/07/2020 20:27

A new person was in my daughter's nursery last week as it happens. She asked me for the password as she didn't know me and in her words didn't "want to take any risks". I had no idea what password was as we had set it 3 years ago and never had to use it! I figured it out. Then she went in and asked my daughter if I was her mum ( I could see & ,hear through window) before she sent her out. I thought it was overkill at the time but would much prefer that to your situation.

wildthingsinthenight · 30/07/2020 20:30

As a former nursery manager yes I would complain. It doesn't instill much confidence

alwaystired234 · 30/07/2020 20:42

@Mylittlepony374 yes I would have definitely preferred that

OP posts:
StrawberryCloud · 30/07/2020 20:45

Maybe someone else looked out the window to confirm your identity for her when she went in to get your DD?

I don't think you need to 'complain' either way, just let the manager know that it concerned you so that she can raise it with the member of staff?

Gillian1980 · 30/07/2020 20:48

At our nursery (I’m a parent, not staff) they can see outside on camera and new staff often ask older staff if they recognise the parent, using to monitor to look at them. Is this a possibility?

Idontbelieveit12 · 30/07/2020 20:51

Where I work we have a password system. However another member of staff may have seen you in which case it is ok, but i definitely would mention it

GrumpyHoonMain · 30/07/2020 20:53

I would complain. They might have some MI5 worthy back office security system you don’t know about but I think the most realistic option is that the newbie probably just forgot to follow the security procedures. It’s a training issue that definitely needs to be flagged up before they get complacent.

Happymum12345 · 30/07/2020 20:55

Absolutely make sure the management know. That is completely unacceptable.

strawberrymilkshakemonkey · 30/07/2020 20:57

russell I am VERY surprised your school allows kids to just go home with random people, even if it's people they know. at all the schools I've worked at, the parents/people who normally pick up have to inform the school, and provide a description and a password, which the person picking up has to give. seems a massive safeguarding risk to just take the child's word for it.

MinnieJackson · 31/07/2020 07:07

@strawberrymilkshakemonkey yes at our primary aswell. I always have to send a note in saying ds will be going home with x and their mum or ring and give a password and description of person collecting

BKCRMP · 31/07/2020 07:58

I was about to say I'm surprised that's allowed by a school. My DD would literally say yes and go home with anyone if asked so there's no way a school should be taking a child's word for it

dontdisturbmenow · 31/07/2020 08:02

Why complain at this point? Just call the manager and ask what the normal procedure was. Explain what happened and say that she might have ask someone when you couldn't hear and see but wanted to let her know just in case.

MrsKin90 · 31/07/2020 08:08

Yes definitely mention it just for your own peace of mind. I used to work at a nursery and if we didn't know you we told you we didn't and that we had to verify your identity with someone else before we could give your child to you, even if they shouted out 'mummy/daddy' and ran to you.

Russell19 · 31/07/2020 08:13

@strawberrymilkshakemonkey I completely agree with you. I'm very uneasy about it but we don't have a password system. What happens at your school in September though when children get new teachers or they need a supply teacher?

katmarie · 31/07/2020 08:16

Our nursery has a list of approved people to do pick ups, and a password per child, which has to be given at drop off and pick up. If we want someone else to do pick ups we have to call and tell the nursery each time, or add them to the list. They also have an entry phone system, so your child doesn't even see you until you've spoken to a staff member and given the pass code. They take security very seriously, and i find that reassuring. I would speak to the nursery manager, not least because if they have an ofsted inspection, this kind of thing can be an issue.

Peach1204 · 31/07/2020 08:22

Did they have your photo on file? Some nurseries have this as extra security and it can quickly be brought up on an electronic device.

bashcrashfall · 31/07/2020 08:24

You have a safeguarding concern. Report it to the nursery.

user1493413286 · 31/07/2020 08:28

I would definitely mention it; I work in a job where people do not always like me and I made quite a big deal with any childcare I use that DD is only collected by people the staff know (me, DH or mil) or that our password is used.

strawberrymilkshakemonkey · 31/07/2020 08:29

russell - we have photos of parents on file, or a description if not comfortable with photos. we also have a list of 'approved' pick ups e.g. grandma but they still have to inform us everytime. it can be really hard and time consuming at the start of term but it does feel safer and there's no risk to you as the member of staff.

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