To say NO to DS going on sleepovers?

[NoFunMom]

Or give him the option of living in the garage for the foreseeable which probably won’t happen in practice?

He’s 18 and while I know he isn’t socially distancing with his mates as well as he should (not that I would try to stop him hanging out) but I think a sleepover with 4+ other mates from other households is taking the piss a bit?

He went on one a few weeks ago on the proviso that he took our tent and slept in the garden (it was a garden ‘gathering’) but he ended up sleeping with the rest of them indoors as it started raining.

I told him he’s not going on the one planned for tonight (I think it’s an excuse to shag his NEW girlfriend which will lead to other potential issues possibly as he has no cash for condoms) as virus cases are increasing and were in a pandemic. I don’t want him putting the rest of our family at risk.

He thinks I’m totally unreasonable and over reacting of course.

Am I?

You sound very controlling op.

Sorry I don't agree with the your house your rules rubbish.
He is your adult child, you should be discussing with him as an adult.
You have had your time to mold him into the person he is, now he has to make his own decisions possible with your counsel.
And that doesnt come with the if you dont like it you can move out. Firstly how many 18 years olds can afford to move out and secondly if my parents pull that trick on me , I would move out as soon as I could and I would be keeping away from them for some time.

*He has money from his part time job but spends on online crap so why should I sub him to have sex with a new girlfriend (when he shouldn’t be getting into a relationship at this time)?
*

Because you're his mum. You love him and you don't want him to get her pregnant or catch an STI

JEEZUS

I'm with you @NoFunMom
I have an 18yo who is doing a lot more socialising than I feel comfortable with - it's putting the rest of the family at risk. But she's 18 so while I can explain to her the way I feel, I don't think I can really stop her going and doing what she will.
However, I am looking forward to her heading off to a 100mile distant city for uni in September! While I'll still worry, her actions won't directly affect us.

^ Obviously I'm concerned about Covid rather than pregnancy in our case!

It's "controlling" to prefer members of one's household to follow government guidelines?

@TeaAndStrumpets

I agree OP. Going forward our lives will be forever changed by this virus, the sooner young people learn safe habits the better. It probably seems harsh to some, but if he came home and caused the death of a family member he would have a lifetime of regret.

I have a girl in my tutorgroup who doesn't know whether or not she bought home the covid that killed her mum. And she will never know. Mum was 40.

Sleepovers 😂😂

1. He's an adult - you cannot stop him.
2. All you can do is advise.
3. Buy him some condoms. I know he is an adult and should buy his own, but for some reason he has no money, and preventing and STD and an unwanted pregnancy takes precedence.

@mosquitofeast that poor girl. I hope she is being well supported.

OP, rates have been shown to be increasing specifically amongst the younger age groups. By their very nature, young (particularly male) adults are more likely to engage in risky behaviour, arguably more now than ever.

You cannot stop him going, that's unreasonable, but he needs to address your concerns regarding his lack of social distancing and the risk of bringing the virus into your home. Ask him how he intends to mitigate that risk?

In terms of condoms, I'd lent him the money for now and encourage him to go to the local sexual health clinic next week. He needs to learn to take responsibility for this and his actions.

1st of all. Buy him condoms
Second of all tell him no.
Third of all : if he wants freedom to do what he wants tell him to move out

I think everyone is focusing in the condoms too much! Have you discussed condoms with him? Also, contraception isn't just his responsibility so his new girlfriend can surely organise some if he can’t. As far as C19 is concerned, it absolutely your right to say what people in your house can do. If none of you were following the rules then crack on and spread/catch as many germs as you like, but as the rest of you are following the rules and not being a-hokes about it, he can go stay but then he doesn’t come back into the house until he’s isolated for 14 days. It’s not being controlling, it’s not being a nag or having unreasonable expectations of your poor son who is having his teenage years thwarted by an overbearing parent, it’s about being a responsible member of society. Yes it sucks, but he’s not being asked to shield or put his life in danger by going to work. Does he frequently wash his hands for 20 seconds and use hand gel if soap/water aren’t available and is he wearing a mask???

@NoFunMom

He has money from his part time job but spends on online crap so why should I sub him to have sex with a new girlfriend (when he shouldn’t be getting into a relationship at this time)?

He was given the option of being picked up and coming home if it rained, even if that was 2am in the morning.

There are 5 of us ( not including him) in our household, why should I let him bring the virus home with him?

I’ve asked him to keep socialising to outdoors as much as possible. There much more risk of picking it up touching surfaces in someone else’s house and sleeping in the same room as them!

Oh, I don't know - because it would be shittier for all concerned if you became a grandmother right now, perhaps?