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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is DH's company unreasonable?

61 replies

MrsWarleggan · 30/07/2020 09:16

Whole household had to be tested Wed's night. Due to waiting for results DH took leave yesterday. All came back yesterday as negative.

DH went back into work today and greeted a Co worker with "Good Morning" and was completely blanked. He said good morning again only slightly louder and got "Stay away from me with your covid shit" A stand up row ensued and DH's boss walked into the situation and told DH that he had to wear a mask all day. DH replied that he didn't have to as we tested negative and pointed out that when a fellow employee tested negative at the height of the peak he returned the following day and wasn't required to wear a mask. His boss replied "if you want to work for this fucking company you will wear a mask" DH replied that if he was that concerned then perhaps he should go home and self isolate for 14 days. His boss threw back that if he did that he would only be paid SSP. DH said that he would take another leave day (doesn't work on a Friday) and walked out. He's now sitting at home moping.

His company is being unreasonable - YANBU
DH is being unreasonable and should have just sucked it up and put a mask on for the day - YABU

OP posts:
Jamestown · 30/07/2020 10:44

Sorry OP your husband was completely unreasonable and behaved like a petulant child as a PP said. Everybody is scared about COVID. If he is an employee, unfortunately he has to do what his boss says, even if the boss is unreasonable. It is entirely irrelevant and childish to moan that another employee did not have to wear a mask and to claim favouritism. I hope that he manages to keep his job.

RB68 · 30/07/2020 10:48

So there was no exposure to covid and all tests negative - completely unreasonable at work - boss is supporting supposition and rumour monging and fake info. THis is soething a grievance could be submitted for.

All work places should have a RA in place and actions comm'd to all including what they need to do to stay safe in the work place.

I would say get onto ACAS and know the facts of where you stand and then an appropriate letter into the work environment, solicitors if you really want to put the shit up them

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 30/07/2020 10:48

@Jamestown

How is it irrelevant? One rule for one?? I think you will find in most work places it would be classed as discrimination? Yes DH could have handled the situation better but after being ignored and told to "keep that Covid shit away from me" he was already on the back foot. Are you telling me you wouldn't react if you had that shouted in your face? If not you are clearly a much better person than my DH, and me come to that.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/07/2020 10:51

I’m honestly not sure why you’re asking op if you’re so sure you’re right, just crack on. There is no point in you now arguing with randoms on the Internet and stamping your feet that you’re both not unreasonable. It’s an exercise in futility.

When the colleague said keep away from me with your Covid shit, it was clear they were worried, the boss stepped in and said wear a mask. General opinion is he should have done so, not got all upset someone else previously didn’t have to and then ran home in a huff.

I honestly don’t get why folks start threads asking if they are unreasonable then stomp their feet they aren’t when folks respond.

Just ask for the thread to be deleted or hide it and crack on.

luckylavender · 30/07/2020 10:54

Did he call his boss before going in? That's what I'd expect as a minimum from my staff.

RB68 · 30/07/2020 10:54

Jamestown - you see this is what is wrong here - this kowtowing cos he is the boss - bosses are often wrong, often bullies and often need pulling when they are wrong.

The boss has no policy or RA in place to deal with covid situations including return to work after negative tests/isolations

The boss has not done a return to work interview before release into workplace or even had a phone call with employee to explain how it will all work when he gets back in

There is nothing to say its legal or illegal to work in a workplace with all the social distancing in place without a mask

The best protection when using masks is for all parties to wear masks, he has been no more exposed than his colleagues and in fact is more secure in his knowledge of being covid free having had a test (100% reliable or not)

He should not have been dealt with like that in a public place

Boss is plain wrong on all levels

dementedpixie · 30/07/2020 10:54

Why would he alone need to wear a mask if he tested negative? If they were that worried about it then everyone should wear a mask. Being singled out for no reason is not on or fair

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 11:05

It sounds like a toxic working environment that he’d be better off out of. I can’t believe people take this “The boss is always right, suck it up” attitude in this day and age. I know at least two people who have decided enough’s enough in light of their employers’ behaviour over Covid. The really sad thing is that rising unemployment will allow them to carry on like it.

Brefugee · 30/07/2020 11:09

I think your husband was a bit unreasonable - and the entire workplace is VVVVU for the way they talk to each other (because they're all men? What a crock of shit for an excuse. The workplace isn't some kind of drunken event at a rugby club)

What the other colleague had to do isn't relevant as the guidance has changed. However the company must have a Covid-19 strategy and I'd find that worrying.

"keep that Covid shit away from me" - if, as you have indicated, they're like that with each other, tbh sounds like their normal way of speaking to each other (was it just "bantz").

Your DH should probably look for another job. Is he in a union?

Brefugee · 30/07/2020 11:12

Jamestown - you see this is what is wrong here - this kowtowing cos he is the boss - bosses are often wrong, often bullies and often need pulling when they are wrong.

you are supposed to do what a boss tells you in terms of policy. That's what bosses are for. It's not "kowtowing" it's being an employee. And if you want to discuss something with the boss the correct reaction is, pretty much always, "can we step into your office, I'd like to discuss something"

I'm a boss. I don't treat my subordinates like I'm the great emperor (although i wish i could) and i certainly don't shout around like this one, but i do expect my instructions to be followed. That's why i get paid the big bucks.

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 11:15

There doesn’t appear to be a policy. That’s the entire point.

MintyMabel · 30/07/2020 11:15

I think you will find in most work places it would be classed as discrimination?

Is your husband in one of the protected categories and the other person not?

diddl · 30/07/2020 11:23

I agree that the boss handled it badly-but why was your husband in a stand up row with a colleague?

Cheeseandwin5 · 30/07/2020 11:24

I think whilst the way they spoke to each other was rude and unprofessional, just because he tested negative the day before doesn't mean he wont get it.
If the company has a policy that everyone wear masks than he needs to wear them.

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 30/07/2020 11:31

@Cheeseandwin5

They don't have a policy. That's the point.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/07/2020 11:31

OP said noone wears masks currently so why should he be singled out to wear one?

Original poster
MrsWarleggan · 30/07/2020 11:33

If there was a policy that everyone had to wear one he would. If there was a policy that stated you have to wear one for 14 days after a negative test he would. There isn't.

OP posts:
WB205020 · 30/07/2020 11:42

Clearly the company is unprofessional but what people forget is the covid 'test' is not 100% accurate. People have tested negative but had still had it.

This pandemic has stoked fear into people, the like we have not seen in 100 years (Spanish Flu). People are forgetting their senses a lot of the time and becoming needlessly afraid. People who are afraid are usually combative rude.

We also dont know why your whole family had to be tested. If it was something minor like coming into contact with someone who potentially had it then its an overreaction. If its something more serious like coming back from Spain just before the new restrictions came in for example, then it would change how people perceived the threat to be.

Alsohuman · 30/07/2020 11:44

We also dont know why your whole family had to be tested

We do know. Try reading the thread, it’s only two pages!

dementedpixie · 30/07/2020 11:47

Yeah @WB205020 read the thread and you will see why everyone was tested.

Cheeseandwin5 · 30/07/2020 11:47

@MrsWarleggan

Just one other thing- does everyone else wear masks?

If there isnt a policy and others are not wearing masks than I can well understand why your DH is upset.

Whatever the case is I would find it untenable to go back to a job where I had been spoken to in such a way, although maybe your DH should have walked away intially.

dementedpixie · 30/07/2020 11:48

OP already said noone wears a mask

IseeIsee · 30/07/2020 11:56

If my boss asked that I wear a mask for the day I would do so, no problem. Can't imagine starting a big dramatic argument about it and walking out. Must be a dog rough company if this is the way everyone carries on.

Notonthestairs · 30/07/2020 11:57

How long was he expected to wear a mask for? A day? A week? Do they expect him to take a further test? Do they supply the mask? Does it have to be a particular style of mask? What impact does it have on other SD measures, toilet use etc.

The company is at fault for failing to have a policy and making their expectations clear. V poor management.

Bookriddle · 30/07/2020 12:14

Good on your husband for standing up for himself