Sexist home repairs

[thetrolleywitch]

Reminded of this by another thread... I had a person come around to do a quote for new fascias and guttering the other day. He was not happy about doing the appointment without my husband present.

We've renovated two houses over the years and I have done all of the project management, the plans, working with the builders etc etc. without needing help. My husband isn't particularly interested in the details and I'm happy to do it. I love a project!

The only other times that I've had this 'little woman' treatment have been with a replacement door and one of the companies that came round to quote for windows. I assumed in those cases that they wanted both owners present in case I was trying to lock him out but I don't get it with fascias!

AIBU to refuse to use a company for doing this? Also, tell me your stories of it happening to you to add to my righteous indignation 😂

[thetrolleywitch]

@MintyMabel

He was not happy about doing the appointment without my husband present.

Or perhaps he wasn't happy to be in a situation where he was alone in the house with a woman. I can understand why this might be a problem for some men.

I've had plenty of experience of this but it was over a decade ago. I haven't had a problem with this in more recent years.

I get that, it hasn't actually occurred to me about the allegation angle. The last one though, my husband was in the house (WFH, bloody lockdown!) but wasn't available to attend the full spiel and I didn't really think it took two of us to make the decision. We were also sitting in the overlooked garden (social distancing) with neighbours out watering plants etc.

I definitely can see that sometimes it is to cover themselves but some of them have been ok to do the initial quote without him but then wanted him there for the final paperwork. I guess that's ok for something massive but if we both had to be there for every time we had blinds/carpets etc installed it would be a big waste of time (I feel the same way about both parents going to children's birthday parties 😄)

[IrenetheQuaint]

@MintyMabel

He was not happy about doing the appointment without my husband present.

Or perhaps he wasn't happy to be in a situation where he was alone in the house with a woman. I can understand why this might be a problem for some men.

I've had plenty of experience of this but it was over a decade ago. I haven't had a problem with this in more recent years.

I don't understand why this would be a problem for many men at all, unless they are predators. The number of women who baselessly accuse tradesman of sexual harassment or assault must be absolutely minuscule and limited to women with existing serious MH problems.

I live alone and have male tradesman coming round to quote and do work fairly frequently. Tradesmen who refused to work on jobs where there was no male living in the property would cut out a massive slice of potential business.

[moonbells]

Heh. When we first met, my now-DH and I used to go to computer fairs, as we both quite liked building our own boxes. Sooner or later I'd be asking about a particular component and the computer salesman would either talk to him or mansplain it, often incorrectly (since I do my research first) to me.

DH used to count down silently with a neutral face until I carefully took the saleman's assumptions to pieces, given I am a Dr-level physicist. Later he'd laugh his head off at the look on the sales guy's face...

The gender-neutral title really comes in handy, too, with particularly patronising salesmen.

[eatyourcake]

I've had the little woman treatment every time a new tradesman started working in our now fully renovated house, until they realised that I know what I'm talking about and I was the one doing all of the diy, not my husband, then they really change the attitude and treat me like a bloke

[HaudMaDug]

@formerbabe

What happens if you're single?

They double the quote.

[MyOwnSummer]

When I was doing the inventory check in with a male, married tenant whose wife was not present I offered to show him how the washing machine worked. It is one of those complicated models with a million settings.

He scoffed and said "I will not touch that, that's my wife's problem- she can figure it out". I raised an eyebrow and said nothing until he made a sheepish mumbled apology.

On a later inspection, I met the lady myself. She looked absolutely miserable. I felt bad but what could I do?

Less than a year later, he told me she had left him and done a moonlight flit back to their home country with their little girl. Well done to her!

[MoistMolly]

The number of women who baselessly accuse tradesman of sexual harassment or assault must be absolutely minuscule

You're obviously new here.

Every day, there is a thread about a man who has looked at a woman funny, or about a woman who has a "gut" feeling about a man, or about a man who walked past a womans house and looked at the front garden, etc.

[Brefugee]

I think pressure sales companies that come to your house have so many sales tricks that you are quite entitled to use a partner as an excuse whether They exist or not.

If they are so unsure of their product that they need to use tricks, you probably shouldn't buy from them.

[Sorka]

@puffinkoala It was 2009, so quite recent. They had women on the team but seemed to find a woman purchasing a property by herself unfathomable. It was like stepping back to the 1950s.

I’m moving again at the moment and keep receiving correspondence addressed to Mrs instead of Miss, despite me having corrected this and them having my ID which says Miss.

[Lemonylemony]

Currently buying a house with my male partner, but I am doing all the liasing and organising and paperwork, he doesn’t even know who the solicitors, broker etc is, I am listed as person 1 and him as person 2 on all documentation - everything is still addressed to Mr Y and Ms X (I am Dr as well, but they’ve ignored that). His name isn’t even alphabetically before mine, there is literally no excuse apart from sexist choice to put his name first despite me being the contact.

I will put a complaint in once the process is completed.

[StationView]

I hired a jet washer from a local DIY shop a few years ago. The man filling in the paperwork asked whether I was Mrs or Miss. I asked him in what way my marital status was relevant to the transaction in hand.

Reader, his head exploded with confusion as his sexist assumptions were challenged

[Laserbird16]

I got asked by a tradie 'where was the boss man', I said 'you're talking to her'. DH just looked at us both and uttered 'yep'.

[Iloveyoutothefridgeandback]

I had this once at a garage. Fucked me off so much that I never went back.

Don't use him. Get a different tradie. There are plenty of them who are normal people, you don't need to put up with this silliness.

[Rafflesway]

My God, some of these stories are unreal. 😡. Reminds me of the 1970's when females weren't allowed any credit without a man agreeing and signing for same. 🙄

@SimonJT. I am still choking with laughter at "Wifely Dave". 😂
What I wouldn't have given to see the salesperson's face. Arse!!!

Honestly who are these dinosaurs?

[RyanBergarasTeeth]

I used to get this at work when male customers would demand to speak to a male as women couldnt possibly understand the products we sold. Sometimes they would even speak over my head to a male Co worker as if i wasnt there. Happened a lot to all female staff even if it was my speciality. Once some man wanted advice on something i specialised in. He wanted to talk to my male work mate who told him he was handing over to me as it was my specialism. He walked out of the store without engaging with me at all.

Also everytime i go out with dp men seem to talk to him and ignore me.

[PoppySeedSaid]

As much as this is sexist and like something out of the 1950s a lot of scammers use the technique of having one partner (usually the wife) ask for the quote and she agrees to the work being done. Then once the work has been completed, the other partner (usually the husband) claims he is the person paying and is unhappy with the work or the decisions the wife made.

They then either use that as a bargaining tool to get a reduction in price or flat out refuse to pay.

It's no excuse for sexist behaviour but believe me this kind of thing happens a lot more often than you think.

[rosiejaune]

@contrmary

To be fair to the tradesman in the OP's case, a lot of men are less comfortable with appointments in a woman's home when there is nobody else present. If there is a claim of sexual harassment it becomes one person's word against the other's. It's much safer to have witnesses.

That's only because they have absorbed the sexist rhetoric that women are likely to make false sexual harassment claims.

Whereas in reality the woman is far more at risk of them actually harassing her.

So either way it's sexist.

[LakieLady]

This makes my blood boil.

A few months ago, I was getting quotes for new windows and some other stuff.

A saleswoman arrived, came in, and asked where my "other half" was. I replied "At work". She then told me that she would be unable to proceed, as they had to have both members of a couple present before they could give a quote.

I said that this was ridiculous. She then said it was because I couldn't enter into a finance agreement that was secured against the property. I said that I wouldn't be entering into a credit agreement anyway as we would be paying cash.

She was plainly pissed off, and made no effort to hide the fact. She asked me when she'd be able to come round and speak to us both. I said never, because we wouldn't be entering into any sort of contract with a company that had such a ridiculously sexist policy, even if their windows only cost a fiver.

She stomped off back to her car, proper pissed off.

[DailyFailstinks]

@Lemonylemony I work for a law firm. Our case management software automatically puts the male first when files are set up for a couple (for same sex couples I think it goes alphabetically). Still sexist of course but perhaps more a case of sexist software designers than sexist lawyers!

[Lemonylemony]

more a case of sexist software designers than sexist lawyers!
Maybe, but the lawyers are the ones I’m employing. They can complain to the software designers if they like :-) I don’t think the fact that the sexism is quite literally built into the system is much of an excuse for it.

Our software at work is custom built for our company, and we have a ridiculous number of options for titles, but I do like that we have the full range of options of Mr & Dr, Mrs & Mrs, any combo you can think of including Mrs & Mr which I do like! Can’t cope with multiple surnames within a family though, that is frustrating, and I flag every time I’m asked for input on IT upgrades.

[missrks]

Had it in a garage - directed all the money questions/chat at my boyfriend, then told him that my car (never bought from him ovz) was a good second car to have. My DP was just there for a day out! 😂

Hell to the f*cking naaay naaay. My car, my money. Bought from another dealer who treated me with some respect and dignity.

I deal with tradespeople as DP is useless with that stuff.

[Musmerian]

When I was getting divorced the solicitor sent the initial details to me addressed in my married name which I have never used instead if Ms Musmerian. When I rang to,point this out he said ‘You’re not divorced yet. I had to point out very forcefully that I had never used any other name. Estate agent when house selling sending all correspondence to DP despite me doing all the calls etc. It’s so bloody annoying.

[Yellowcar2]

Husband is a builder and has had so many cases of agreeing job with one adult doing the job and then gets a call back saying actually partner prefers xyz can you come back and change/ alter... He now tries to book appointment with both present. 🤷‍♀️

[CuriousaboutSamphire]

This week I had a cold call, some SEO expert had found my business via Google and wanted to help me improve my page standing.

I said no thanks and please remove me from your database I do not wish to be contacted again.

He asked to speak to the owner "it's a bit technical you see".

I told him, it is my business. It uses my name. Has my picture on the landing page. I built it. I am fully aware of what it does and does not do well. I know it's page ranking!

I could hear him spluttering and as he seems to draw breath I asked to speak to his line manager as she might understand more clearly".

He put the phone down