Sexist home repairs

[thetrolleywitch]

Reminded of this by another thread... I had a person come around to do a quote for new fascias and guttering the other day. He was not happy about doing the appointment without my husband present.

We've renovated two houses over the years and I have done all of the project management, the plans, working with the builders etc etc. without needing help. My husband isn't particularly interested in the details and I'm happy to do it. I love a project!

The only other times that I've had this 'little woman' treatment have been with a replacement door and one of the companies that came round to quote for windows. I assumed in those cases that they wanted both owners present in case I was trying to lock him out but I don't get it with fascias!

AIBU to refuse to use a company for doing this? Also, tell me your stories of it happening to you to add to my righteous indignation 😂

[thetrolleywitch]

@DianaT1969

Was the thread started by a journo? It's very much a Mail story.

Scouts honour, I'm not a journalist! Was genuinely just amazed that some people still think this is a good marketing technique. Daily Fail is just making sure we can't have anything nice!

[Flyingunicornsmyass]

Bought my home in cash, by myself. Had an older male estate agent close the sale and afterwards told me he thought I'd need a hand hold as I was a young woman. DP moved in with me, but I still get asked if I need to check with him before signing off on a quote. Maddening.

[DianaT1969]

Was the thread started by a journo? It's very much a Mail story.

[CarrieMoonbeams]

My friend is an IFA. She is also single. She is also blessed with a splendidly sharp and sarcastic sense of humour.

She put her car in to a local garage for its MOT, and the garage owner phoned her later to tell her about the things that (allegedly) needed doing.

He started to explain, but she does know quite a bit about cars so she questioned him a couple of times. He got exasperated and said "look, let me speak to your partner, I'll tell him". She said she didn't have a partner. He said "your dad then, is your dad there?". She said "no, he died last year". (he hadn't, actually). There was a long silence from the garage owner and then my friend said "ooh, hang on, there's a random man walking past in the street, will I run out and get him to speak to you about it?" His reply? "well, yes, it might be best, love". My friend's reply is not printable! 😂😂

[theluckiest]

@Clumsyduck

😂😂😂

🙄 some of the comments On there

I'm absolutely at the comments!!!

Oh do F off Daily Mail, you utter arsewipe of a rag.

[KorkMum]

Yes I've had this. My name on water bill and partner doesnt live with me but thames water came to do a repair I had arranged with them as had a leak /issue with stop tap, and i greeted them but they only spoke to my partner who was visiting me at the time. They said isit ok to check something before leaving (cant remember what) and he said yes but you should probably ask her I don't live here. Had it with a few things actually! The boiler man was another.

[PhilSwagielka]

I had to laugh because my mum is the DIY expert in my family - I don't know if she's experienced this but it wouldn't surprise me. My stepdad is rubbish at it compared to her and she's the first person I go to for advice about household repairs and whatnot.

I'm single and the only male in my house has four legs and claws and is covered in fur.

[D4rwin]

Yes. I had house insurance. In my name, from.my bank account. They wouldn't discuss a claim with me over the phone as there had (historically we were getting divorced) been my husband on the previous year's policy. They wanted to speak with him. I wrote the details of the claim to them with a complaint and the question what if he had died? Funnily enough I switch companies adap

[Clumsyduck]

😂😂😂

🙄 some of the comments On there

[thetrolleywitch]

[quote happytoday73]The daily fail has picked up on this thread by the way... www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8577109/Women-reveal-outrageously-sexist-encounters-theyve-experienced.html[/quote]
FFS!

[RabbityMcRabbit]

I went for a middle leadership role interview about 8 years ago. The interview was to last all day (common for middle leadership roles in teaching) as it comprised of several tasks. All candidates were to meet at 8am in the meeting room where there was a table with tea, coffee, etc for us to help ourselves. I was the second person to arrive, other candidate who had arrived there before me was a man. He was sitting down and going through his notes.
When the newly-arrived male candidate walked in and saw me near the tea and coffee he said "oh lovely, I'll have a coffee please love, milk and 2 sugars". I looked at him in amazement (I was wearing a suit so was obviously (?) another candidate) and told him I was an interviewee too. He said, "oh sorry I thought you were here to do the drinks"!

[happytoday73]

My friend designs and project manages the building of large boilerplants for manufacturing sites.

Working from home one day the British gas guy repairing their household boiler would only explain the problem to her husband (who was out of the country) as she couldn't possibly understand it....

[happytoday73]

The daily fail has picked up on this thread by the way... www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8577109/Women-reveal-outrageously-sexist-encounters-theyve-experienced.html

[ContessaferJones]

I used to travel to Central London for work and had a regular season ticket plus seat booking. I went up to renew my season ticket and the (friendly, respectful, male) conductor tried to find me on the system. Had difficulty. Eventually found me - I'd been filed under male, because my title was Dr he said this to me, then frowned and said "That doesn't seem right, does it?" I agreed that it did not. I think he was on my side!

Adopting a cat - I was the only adult who met the cat before bringing him home, DH never came with us. Adoption centre man still insisted on leading with DH's details on the system.

Oh, and my bank account. It took a sternly worded visit to the fucking bank before they would upgrade me from Miss to Dr (3 years after my nigh-simultaneous graduation and marriage)! It's not essential, but it is so BORING.

[BlingLoving]

One thing I will say, is that I expect things are better. We keep going back to th same sales guy for cars because frankly, he's extremely pleasant, happy to deal with either one of us etc etc. The broker we use for mortgages and insurance has always treated me as the primary for this stuff as I am the one who handles and manages it and has never had any issue with that. Our builders took the same level of patronising tone to both me and DH when it was rapidly clear we'd never done anything like this before! We had a dishwasher repair guy in the other day and he was great in the original call with me, then in person with DH, then later in person with me.

So it feels like progress is being made.

[BlingLoving]

I can sympathise with wanting both members of couple for large quotes, in theory. I just suspect that if the sales person is greeted by the man, they wouldn't insist as strongly....

My most memorable one was getting quotes for new boiler. Man came round, we discuss options and prices etc. He hands me a brochure and says, "I've outlined it all here for your husband. Ask him to give me a call when he's made a decision." Needless to say, he didn't get the job (incidentally, the people who did were only marginally less annoying. Sigh).

Years ago, I needed to sell my car because I was leaving the country. It was fairly new, in good shape etc and I didn't have the time to try selling it privately. Took it to a few dealers. Prices were categorically lower than I had been expecting. So my Dad took it round a few dealers the following day.... his LOWEST offer was still higher than my highest. It was infuriating.

[theluckiest]

I had never encountered such blatant sexism before until we bought our first home.

Went to a mortgage adviser who turned out to be an arrogant prick in a shiny suit. I had done all of the research into rates and the local housing market.

Despite this, Mr Shiny spoke only to my DH. It became utterly farcical at one point when I asked a question about tracker mortgages and he directed his answer to my DH!!!

He then asked DH a question who, to his credit, replied 'I've absolutely no idea. My wife has done all the groundwork and I've no idea what you're talking about.'

He even took DH's number as the primary contact and rang him the next day. DH took great delight in telling him that his arrogant, sexist attitude was the main reason that we would not require his services any longer.

[Magnetfisher]

Bought new car wipers at Halfords - went to pay and the man (boy) at the till said 'Do you have a man who can put these on for you?'
I sh+t you not! So I replied ' I'm 45, I owned a car before you were born, I'll manage.' which a few people in the line laughing.
What.a.twat.

[Clumsyduck]

Yes Iv had this is the past , “ what does your husband think/ do you want to go over things with your husband first “ sort of stuff . Well I don’t have one . And this is my house that I own - without a man the horror !

so do you want my money or not ?

Condescending pricks

[Hoppinggreen]

I work as a Relocator and often work with very high earners.
It’s not that unusual for there to be a trailing spouse and they can be of either sex (especially Americans). I can absolutely guarantee the estate agent will turn to the man and ask if they are relocating due to his job.

[Sunshineonrainydays]

I agree @Hingeandbracket, these attitudes must lose them business, it is a very short sighted way of behaving.
I wouldn’t have bought the phone from that tactless person either!

[Hingeandbracket]

Companies/traders who do this are so short sighted - they deserve to fail.

Not exactly the same thing, but I didn't buy a new phone from the woman who assumed my child was grandchild. I am an older parent so it's not ridiculous but how about not making assumptions at all and concentrating on the business at hand?

[Sunshineonrainydays]

@Tappering - Good for you, I wish I had said something to him or given some kind of feedback. I just felt so deflated by the whole experience, I hate searching for a car at the best of times. Also DH didn’t seem to notice the sexism until I pointed it out which I was surprised by.

[Tappering]

Yep. The last car I bought was a memorable occasion. DH was not involved in any of the process - he didn't even see it or drive it until after I'd picked it up.

Didn't stop the salesman from constantly asking what my husband thought or whether he was ok with the decision. I pointed out that I was buying it, in my name, with my money and that if it was a problem for him then I'd go to a different dealership.

[Sunshineonrainydays]

It’s sad that these sexist attitudes still seem so common.
About 6 months ago myself and DH were looking at getting a new car (PCP deal). I would be the one driving it and paying for it but the car salesman constantly directed every word to my DH apart from the initial ‘hello Mrs Sunshine’.
I would keep speaking up and asking various questions and he would then direct the answers to DH.
I got sick of all this and when he thought he’d won over DH he said ‘are you ready to do the deal?’ I said ‘maybe if you lower the price we will think about it’ and started showing him cheaper deals we had found and explaining we were in a good position and he needed our sale! His face dropped but he still proceeded to speak to DH. I had decided I wouldn’t buy a car air freshener from him let alone a car so we said all the usual ‘we’ll think about it’ stuff and left. It certainly didn’t help that his breath smelled like dog shit! (Thinking about it, a car air freshener might have helped this situation when we did the test drive!)
After a bit more searching around we found a much better deal elsewhere with a company who didn’t appear to share his sexist views.