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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect my neighbour to apologise for shouting at us?

20 replies

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 11:30

Our neighbours (a couple over the road) went a way at the weekend and LEFT THEIR CHILDREN ALONE TO HAVE AN 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY

The 'kids' then decided to run up and down the road at 2am shrieking their darling little heads off.

After about half an hour of this, and seeing as they'd woken us up, DH opened the bedroom window and shouted to them to shut up as it was 2am, otherwise he'd call the police. Not unreasonable, I thought.

Neighbour returns yesterday (to what kind of mess, I wonder.....) and comes across, rings our bell, then spends the next 5 minutes shouting at DH for being selfish!!!!

Apparently we're 'selfish' for ruining her DC's 18th birthday party and for requesting peace at 2am!

I'm gob-smacked and utterly lost for words. Is it me? AIBU??

Now if they'd forewarned us, like any other sane person, we might have turned a blind eye (or ear), but this isn't the first time.
We had to call the RSPCA last year as they went on holiday and left their dog outside (someone was coming to feed, but not walk it, once a day) so it barked all day and all night, keeping us awake.

I really do wonder if it's me sometimes.....

OP posts:

themoon66 · 01/10/2007 11:31

Yes, your neighbour should apologise... twice... once for shouting at YOU and again to say sorry that her kids were a nuisance at 2am.

dustystar · 01/10/2007 11:32

I can't believe she feels it is alright for the kids to be so noisy at that tiem of night How do you get on normally?

Original poster

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 11:35

We don't really know them, although they live across the road, it's quite a distance IYSWIM as we're in the sticks.

We all keep ourselves to ourselves. DH was soo cross. She was having an absolute rant at him. In the end he just said, I've no more to say to you, and shut the door. She was still shouting as she went back down the path. I think she must be rather mad!

OP posts:

dustystar · 01/10/2007 11:40

Theres often noise late at night where i live and trust me at 2am in the morning plenty of the neighbours would have yelled round here - with or without notice of a noisy party. She should count herself lucky that you didn't call the police.

OrmIrian · 01/10/2007 11:43

Yes. She was very lucky you didn't call the police! I suspect 18yr old has been down-playing the noise and exagerating how threatening your DH was.

Original poster

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 11:48

Exactly, we've been wondering exactly what her darling DC said when mummy got home, especially if the place was a tip!

Incidentally, she was very apologetic over the dog incident. We called the RSPCA genuinely because we didn't know where they were (as we don't know them). All we knew was that the car wasn't there, there didn't seem to be anyone around and the dog was outside barking continuously for a week.

Maybe she holds a grudge over that as they received a warning from the RSPCA for causing a nuisance?

OP posts:

JustcallmeMAT · 01/10/2007 11:50

Do they know it was you who called RSPCA?

HonoriaGlossop · 01/10/2007 12:02

Blimey Bella they sound annoying.

just take satisfaction from the fact that the only reason she needed to shout was as a defense mechanism, and the reason she felt defensive was that she knew they'd done wrong to bugger off and leave an 18 yr old having a party. Talk about a ridiculous thing to do....She knows she was wrong.

and good for you for the RSPCA thing. Blimey, the poor dog left alone for a week....

Original poster

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 12:07

Yes they knew it was us because the RSPCA told them. I've no problem with that at all.

The dog was being fed by someone, but I don't know who. This year they had someone house sit while they went away and the dog wasn't a problem.

I think you're right - it was a defence mechanism. She was probably fired up and had to shout at someone, so my poor DH got it in the neck .

We do bump into them sometimes in the village shop, I wonder if they'll ever say anything to us? An apology would be great but I doubt very much if we'll ever get one!

OP posts:

Freckle · 01/10/2007 12:09

Perhaps you could put a note through her door, explaining that you are normally tolerant of neighbours, but that there were X number of youths running up and down the road shrieking their heads off at 2am. You do not think you were unreasonable to ask them to be quiet. Your dh had to shout because they were making so much noise they wouldn't have heard him otherwise.

If her dd has given her a different story, it might make her stop and think and realise that she has been unreasonable, not you. Might save some awkward meeting in the village.

LadyVictoriaOfCake · 01/10/2007 12:14

can i just point out that leaving an 18 year old home alone isnt actually doing anything wrong.

what is wrong is that her dc disturbed the peace of many people,. not just yourselves. your neighbour is being a silly mare to shout at you about it. tbh, i would've called the police anyway lol.

HonoriaGlossop · 01/10/2007 12:16

You're right, it's not legally wrong, but leaving your child to have their 18th party in an empty house is wrong on pretty much every other level!

Original poster

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 12:22

Oh, I know she wasn't wrong to leave her 18 yr old DC, stupid, maybe

Have thought about note but am inclined to leave her alone in case she has indeed flipped!

OP posts:

Anna8888 · 01/10/2007 12:23

My parents left me at home to have parties from when I was, oh, 17 . We had lots of fun and neither my parents or the neighbours had any cause for complaint.

I wouldn't hesitate to leave my children to have a party at home at that age providing they were responsible.

maisemor · 01/10/2007 12:29

If as you say this is not the first time, then it is probably not going to be the last time. Have the number ready for the noise control team. Phone that and let them deal with it.
First they get a warning. Then, if they keep the noise going, they get a fine £100, third time (in the same evening) they go and take their stereo.

Ripeberry · 01/10/2007 14:06

Ypu would think that if you lived in a small community you would try your BEST to get on with everybody and not cause a nuisance like they did.
When i read the OP details i automaticaly thought "council estate" but sounds like you live in the countryside.
A couple of villages away from here, a friend of mine has been having problems with young lads on off-road bikes (small ones) as the kids are only 12yrs old, zooming up and down the lanes and chasing people's cars and hanging off the back and their latest stunt is to start 'tagging' all the street signs and peoples house signs.
But these kids are so stupid as EVERYONE knows who they are but the parents can't be bothered.
They are getting a visit from the local police as he was puzzled by all the graphity.
Hope he gives them a good lecture!
AB

Twiglett · 01/10/2007 14:09

I would pop a note through the door and explain that they may not have got the full story from the party-givers but that it was 2 in the morning and party guests were running down the street screaming

see what happens then

Tortington · 01/10/2007 14:14

iam having an 18th party in the garden - but i am chucking the drunken teenagers out to go to town at 10pm - yanbu -

newgirl · 01/10/2007 14:18

twig is right - the parents prob got a completely wrong story from the kids - mind you, if you dh was talking to her for five mins he must have got this across?

Original poster

BellaLasagne · 01/10/2007 14:35

He didn't have a chance to talk to her, she was most definitely on 'send' not 'receive'!

Yes, Ripeberry, we do live out in the sticks, and yes, you would think therefore they'd be trying harder not to alienate us in case they ever need us in the future!!

OP posts:

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