I’m hoping couples counselling will work this time

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We’re giving couples counselling another go. Last time was horrendous it was a waste of time to be honest. Me and hubby agreed that the councellor had some major issues herself. We found her on yellow pages. We got to find out so much of her life and problems which I didn’t think was professional. This time we’re going through the NHS route hoping it will be better. Waiting list is very long but I’m hoping will be worth it.

Previous private councellor would not let me talk about the past which I found weird as there are so many unresolved things that leak into issues from the present. I just don’t know how to make these sessions useful for us to help make changes. Any advice appreciated.

It really depends why you are having counselling. Most good therapists will meet you individually first so that you can be honest and set out what your issues are. I agree that your counsellor should not have shared personal details - I don’t have a lot of experience but have done a basic course as it’s something we offer through our Church. Wishing you all the best.

Was your previous counsellor even qualified? I don’t know any counsellors who would advertise in Yellow Pages.

I hope couples counselling works for you this time, well done for being able to shake off a bad experience and try again. I’m sorry it happened.

If you ever go private again, it’s okay to ask counsellors what training, qualifications, experience etc they have.

And I agree with Grannybags, it’s common to have individual meetings with a couples counsellor. Think about where you are now in your relationship, where you want to be and what your goals are for counselling and express that to the counsellor.

Was that counsellor qualified, sounds weird they told you personal stuff.

Sessions are supposed to be about you and your problems, not how she has a similar problem in 1979 with her second husband (or whatever lol)

Thanks everyone. It did say on her add she was “bacp accredited” I think! It was years ago but she seemed most qualified in the area. It was an awful experience. I actually had Individual counselling for 2 sessions with NHS recently but then they suggested I need couples counselling as that would benefit me better. So I’m back on waiting list could be a king time waiting I don’t know. I just don’t want to do private again as it’s spoilt my opinion.

king autocorrect, I mean long