To feel like it’s just too much

[thebigredbutton]

I’ve name changed for this and I don’t want to be too specific.

I feel like I’ve just had enough of everything. I have two young DC, I work full time my DH works full time and has often worked away.

I woke up at 2am and immediately could feel the tears start knowing that I am just failing at everything. I’m ratty with my kids, my job is demanding and difficult, We’d like to sell Our house soon but that is contingent on so many factors (Don’t want to go into specifics) that worry and anxiety is getting me down. I just feel like my existence is being crushed by something in me that feels like I can’t go on.
I messaged my mum earlier about my house worries and she sent me short and curt response back about my problems being insignificant. I know that they probably are but when I put my problems together I just feel it’s like Everest and I can’t get over them.
I’m rambling I’m sorry.

Hello! Have you spoken to the doc about this?

Just want you to know there is another woman out there listening. X

Hi OP,

I didn’t want to read and run, I’m so sorry you are feeling like this. Your problems are not insignificant and I can’t understand why anyone would say this to you let alone your Mum.
Have you thought about some counselling to help you work through your worries?
Can you talk to DH and/or do you have any supportive friends or family members?
Don’t forget Samaritans are there if you need to speak to someone, especially in the early hours when problems can feel much worse.
I hope things get better OP

No @Suewiththeredford I know I should. I’ve barely crossed the door with everything that’s been going on with coronavirus.

I can only urge you to go/call AND take the prescription. You are likely to feel a lot lot better within weeks.

Can you take some time off work? To properly switch off and have some time to yourself? X

I’m glad the GP has been suggested, I should have said that in my initial reply.
Just to say I did an e-consult with our GP surgery today which was very helpful (admittedly this was for something less important). Does your surgery have a system where you can speak to a GP like a phone appointment?

I was in a similar state a couple of years ago when I’d had some bad news and my GP prescribed me some ADs and a prescription for something short term (diazepam) for my anxiety. And she gave me a big hug. Felt much better just telling someone in real life, and the tablets really helped.

Op think of all the tough stressful things you’ve already done in your life. You’ve lived successfully through all of that, and this feeing will pass. Promise.

@Suewiththeredford thank you. I know you’re right. The only way I can describe it is like a tidal wave that engulfs me and leaves me a bit paralysed.
Thanks @Sunshineonrainydays I’ll need to check to see how the surgery is set up - which I will do.

Your mum doesn't sound helpful at all and has made you feel worse ? Have you got any other female support other than her that can help. A friend or a work colleague. Sometimes a positive upbeat personality who believes in you can be a massive help. When that isn't there , you have to reach inside yourself for the strength. Life can be bloody hard but there are lots of women here that are listening and supporting

Please don't just take pills to make you artificially happy. It's great for the gp, but not necessarily for you. Counselling or just getting into the habit of discussing ALL your worries with your partner will do wonders for getting on with life knowing you've talked things through the previous day and are doing things to build happiness through that (not everyone has a husband/ partner who is naturally good at speaking on emotions but it can be improved). I do speak from experience - if you can look into changing your job, even doing something completely new (say even just a different environment like retail rather than office), then just going through the process of this change will make you feel a lot better because you are taking control and testing what feels right.. Sometimes we have to accept that we are doing too much. It was never the norm to work full time in a demandimg job, look after house and kids as a matter of rule. So change what you can.You are not trapped. Antidepressents, in my view, are so easy to just rely on in life to get you through. They permanently change the connectors in your brain and it really is there to make drug companies money above all else. Carrying on like this will please a lot of people and businesses but try and create a calmer, more pleasing world for YOU and your family. It really can be done.

Hi OP, I think I know how you feel. It's like there's so much going on in your head that it can be hard to verbalize. When my DH asks, I usually end up blurting out a couple of really insignificant problems (getting the house cleaned, what to cook for tea, etc) that it seems ridiculous to be worrying.
I've had counselling and I do seem to catastrophise so it was suggested I follow the path of what is the worst that can happen? It's never as bad as it first seems when you drill down but being in the moment can make it difficult to see this.
I've also used anti depressants. I was on them for about a year and came off when I felt ready. I do think they are helpful in calming some of the emotions that are bothering you such as rattiness with the children.
My GP surgery has an 'ask a GP a question' section on their website. I wonder if this is something you could do so they can then call you back to discuss your options for AD's and what counselling is available in your area.
I think we all need counselling at some point. Theres a lot thrown at us and it needs talking through to process it.
Try and do something for yourself today. Solitary walk, bath, read a couple of chapters of a book, chocolate & rubbish tv in bed. You need a breather and some time to relax.

Hi OP, I've had loads of moments like that since lockdown with both personal and work things getting on top of me. I don't think I realised how much staying at home has been affecting me and it's building up. Definitely worth speaking to your GP but in the meantime, make sure you take some time for you. I had to go in to the office the other day and the time commuting to and from really lifted a fog. It's amazing how much better that short commute made me feel, just the time away from home and the desk. If you can, I'd definitely recommend getting outside for a walk or run or something. It really breaks up the day and the change of scenery and fresh air really made a massive difference to the way I was feeling. It doesn't go away but it gives a little bit of light relief.

It sounds like you are doing really well, though perhaps have high expectations of yourself. Even if you don’t have as much energy or patience with your kids as you’d like, I’m sure they know you love them and are doing your best. Do talk to your DH, GP and friends. There may be things that can be put in place to support you? Eg maybe a bit of help with childcare for a couple of hours so u can do things/relax?

On another thread someone mentioned the serenity prayer which is to ask for help to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference.