AIBU to object to ds teacher commenting on my parenting? bit long sorry.

[Riddo]

I have got PMT which makes me oversensitive but on Friday ds (year 3) came out without his homework and refused to go back for it because his teacher would tell him off.

I went back and she ranted about how naughty he was and that she would have words with him next week. I said I'd come in because he's scared of being told off. She then said I was too soft.

So I told her it was my job to be soft - I'm his mother, she could be strict if she wanted to be.

I then left almost in tears (with homework)

DS has always liked school and his teachers but this year doesn't want to go as he's always being shouted at. Half the class feel the same way.

DS has a lot of problems with reading (I'm fairly sure he's dyslexic). I am quite soft but isn't that my right? I make him do his homework and try to read with him whenever I can. Sorry just neded to get this if my chest - it's been bothering me all weekend.

Don't go and see another teacher, honestly that is not the right move. Go and see ds' teacher first. If she refuses to have him assessed then it is reasonable to go to the office and ask for a meeting with the Senco. Going 'round' her from the start will only make her annoyed and more antagonistic.

Thanks for all your comments - I realise that I am too soft sometimes - which is probably why I minded her saying it!

However, i still think that she is too harsh and is not getting the best out of my child.

Nevermind the softness Go and see her, get the dyslexia issue dealt with. If he is dyslexic the sooner he starts getting help the better and there's only one way he's going to get help and it's obviously not through her.

well it is through her sort of but you have to get the ball rolling is what i mean (sorry typing with ds on lap)

Thanks DAncewithHJ - I will have another word with her about the dyslexia and I will try very hard to be calm and not cry. It's very frustrating being someone who cries easily - it distracts from what I'm trying to say.

Sorry I misread it, Riddo. So many kids ARE disruptive! She probably isn't the best, but fantastic teachers who can control class and inspire are few and far between.

I would definitely go through her first with dyslexia. if she isn't co-operating then tell her what you're going to do, so she can't feel like you went behind her back, even if she doesn't agree.

Reading between the lines I think that the teacher is carrying out her duties to adopt a more formal approach now that they are in year 3. Bear that in mind.

People working with children are now being supported by the Govt to get more involved with families. Bear that in mind also.

Just because the kids and parents don't like her doesn't mean she's a bad teacher. If you hear her screaming at the children the Head will also. It is the Head's job to sort that out, but if other parents feel the same way perhaps you could encourage one of the other parents to discuss it with her/him. If you go it will just get personal.

It is quite early in the academic year for the teacher to refer ds to SENCo. She doesn't know him yet. Have you made requests before to other teachers?

You must, outwardly, support the school and Head for your ds's sake. What you do about it behind the scenes is another matter but keep it to yourself. It is quite possible that he's picking up your negativity. How must it feel if you're being sent somewhere by your Mum that she thinks is a bad place?

Actually Riddo I am just the same. I cry at the drop at the hat, it's very, very annoying isn't it!

This thread is making me cry and everyone is being very fair and reasonable - pathetic isn't it!

Riddo, would it help if you wrote a letter or a list of bullet points before you see people?

Then, if you do cry, it might help to keep your focus or you could just hand the list/letter to the person you're with and get the points across that way.