To feel such a fool

[bluerad]

I've just fallen over. I was in the garden, stepped back and literally fell into the kitchen through the back door. Landed flat on my back. Feel such a fool and am a bit sore. Fortunately I had the sense to keep my head up so it didn't smash on the floor but I feel such an idiot.

I fell over drunk and hit the tarmac face first. Chipped both my front teeth! Waking up with a hangover and seeing that in the mirror isn't something I'll forget.

[quote isseywith4vampirecats]@bluerad yes luckily bikers are used to people falling off bikes they didnt laugh at me[/quote]
I did fall of in a spectacularly silly way. I'd arranged to meet some friends on our bikes, and I'd parked up where we were meeting, I was still sat on my bike, but somehow I forgot to put the stand down as I usually would. So when my friends arrived, I got off my bike, expecting it to lower gently a few degrees to the left to be on the stand - only to find NO STAND, and of course I was off the bike and couldn't pick it back up as it was moving down the slope, so I gradually collapsed into a heap with the bike. My 3 friends were laughing SO much they couldn't help me pick up for about 10 minutes.
Worse, the location was outside a very, very well known public landmark. So I had a big audience, who were clearly thinking WTF is going on?! Thank god this was years ago before most mobile phones had cameras. I am still reminded of this event regularly despite the fact I've not ridden my bike for a few years, it would be way too crushing to have this on video. But it was actually very funny, and luckily absolutely no damage not a scratch to the bike or me, it was all in slow motion and I had the strength to just lower it gently.

Oh and thinking of tourists, I was on my bike (again years ago), at some traffic lights outside St Paul's. Now in those days, at the eastern end of St Pauls Churchyard/ Cannon St , by the traffic lights, there was a big expanse of pavement and then a bit of an open plazza or space behind a low hedge. It's now got trees along there and looks very much nicer and greener, and you've not got the same open view of the cathedral.
There was a group of about 20 tourists having their photo taken with their backs to the cathedral and the chap taking the photo kept waving this line of people back so he could get them all in and the cathedral too.... Eventually, just before the lights changed, this line of tourists shuffling backwards reached the low, knee high hedge, and they all (bar a couple) toppled backwards over this hedge!

I hope you feel okay today OP.
I’ve felt your pain literally twice before in terms of embarrassment and discomfort!
A couple of years ago I was ‘carefully’ or so I thought bringing the shopping up the drive towards the house when it was icy underfoot. Before I knew it I had slipped and fell flat on my arse. (The first and only time I’ve ever managed the splits!) I felt such a fool, luckily I didn’t hurt myself and got back up and no shopping was damaged either! It was dark so nobody saw me but I still felt silly.

The second time I was in the kitchen and had spilled something so had wiped the floor over. Somehow I had forgotten it would be wet and walked over the edge of the area I’d just wiped and slipped. I ended up doing the splits in the middle of the kitchen floor! Again I felt embarrassed even though nobody was there to see me do it! I had a bit of bruising but nothing more.

Even though these incidents usually happen in seconds it’s like everything goes in slow motion and you have time to realise what’s happening but you have no way of stopping it!

Once tried to take a shortcut into a muddy field by going between the rails.

I got the tip of my boot caught, tried to lift it free whilst keeping my balance and my other foot slipped.
I somehow managed to front flip so I landed on my back in a nice squishy bit and spent pretty much the rest of the day muddy from collar to the back of my boots.
Many people helpfully commented on how muddy I was

A friend last year got the legs knocked out from under her by her dog and fell backwards hitting her head on a stone. She knew she had a concussion and got me to take her to the Drs.

She was quite shaken on the phone, it was a bit scary.
The next day she was able to laugh at herself because in the waiting room she kept turning to me and saying "I feel really weird... like... I've got a concussion or something"
and I just kept trying to reassure her that it was because she did indeed have a concussion and she was going to be ok

Hope you feel better OP, it's a horrible feeling.

I had a great fall last year, one day after work I was walking with a colleague along a narrow path and just kind of stepped off the edge of it and went down. I landed so badly on one knee/shin, it was immediately painful but I scrambled up and limped to the car (fortunately just across the road). Colleague later admitted she'd held off on laughing until I was out of sight I don't blame her!!

The next few days stopped the laughter though... my entire shin from knee to toe went purple, and the blood then pooled in my foot so I had bruises on my toes and the sides of my foot even though it was nowhere near the injury. I could walk on it but boy was it painful to touch, and very impressive to look at. The nurse I spoke to said a bit excessive but not unusual!

It healed up in a couple of weeks and the colleague still jokes about it...

I'm so very stiff this morning and feel like every bone is in the wrong place IYSWIM. I'm moving like the tin man.
Why does everything go into slow motion when you fall, it's as if someone is saying ' this is going to hurt so I'm just going to let you savour the moment, before you finally hit the deck'.

I have a knee problem that causes my knee to give way without warning.

Leaving for work not long before lockdown, it went when I was at the top of our front steps, and I pitched forward, landing full length on the front lawn.

Luckily, I've got big tits and they hit the lawn first. It slopes, so my face didn't actually hit the ground, but I felt grass tickle my nose. And it had been raining for days so when I got up I had two round muddy patches on my top where my norks had hit the ground.

DP now refers to them as my "airbags".

@LakieLady ouch! I guess we should be grateful for small (or rather large) mercies.