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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel let down by friend

6 replies

LadyLightning · 28/07/2020 15:20

I have a friend who I met about 20 years ago. She has had a difficult few years and we have talked at least every few weeks, setting up a call in advance. At the beginning of lock down we kept up the pattern, but I realized last week that I havent talked to her for a few months. I have had a difficult situation at work and have elderly parents who are not coping well with shielding, so had definitely not been on top of thins. So, I got in touch and we set up a zoom call for last Saturday. About 30 minutes before the call, I got a message from her saying she had a migraine and was not up to the call but would call me the next day. The next day I got a cheery text saying she had slept really well and woken at 5am. Text came at 8pm. She wanted to reschedule to a day this week for our call. I can understand if she couldnt talk because of a migraine but surely you just call the next day if you said you would? I texted back that i had stuff booked every evening this week (which I do) but offering some other days. And havent heard back. AIBU to feel annoyed with her?

OP posts:
GoshHashana · 28/07/2020 15:25

Meh. People are busy.

PatsyJStone · 28/07/2020 15:45

It sounds like a very organised friendship, perhaps a little too structured. Would you miss it? What do you get out of it? If neither of you realised you’d not spoken for a while, and you weren’t overly concerned, then maybe it’s run it’s course.

Mary46 · 28/07/2020 15:56

Leave it to her now.. I find some people hard work or if its not at times to suit their agendas..

Hairthrowaway · 28/07/2020 16:03

Seems like it would be easier to just text or send voice notes rather than scheduling a monthly phone call for 30 minutes. You can both reply at your convenience

LadyLightning · 28/07/2020 16:08

PatsyJStone - we started scheduling calls because we are both quite busy in our lives. I had noticed that lack of communication - to be honest there was a lot more contact when she was having a hard time, and it has dropped off now she is better and my life has become more difficult. So maybe Mary46 is right, and she is just too hard work. I think what bothers me is that if I said I would call you tomorrow, I would. And she didnt. So, I guess I will leave her to it. Goshashana - I am busy too. But follow through with what I say I will do.

OP posts:
burdog · 28/07/2020 16:26

Not really, it sounds like it's just one of those things that fall through. You're reading too much into it.

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