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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know when to call my husband when I go into labour

14 replies

Isitbedtimeyet4 · 28/07/2020 08:16

Sorry to post this in AIBU but today I just can’t shake the worry of not knowing when to call!

I’m 38 weeks, home alone from 6am until 5.30pm so there’s a good chance it’ll happen when my husband is at work, but when do I call him to come home?!

It’s our third baby but I’ve only even been induced due to Pre E so I’m clueless, and my second active labour only took 57 minutes and they didn’t need to give me any extra help after the first pessary...

When did you call? Should I call him a bit earlier as it’s third baby? I’m considering waiting until they’re consistent and 10m apart so I know it’s the real deal, but I’m also very aware that I went from 4cm to baby being born in 57 minutes last time and it would take longer than that for him to get home and us to get to the hospital 😂

OP posts:
Heartofstrings · 28/07/2020 08:17

Makes sense to call sooner rather than later then

Original poster
Isitbedtimeyet4 · 28/07/2020 08:19

I just don’t want to call him and get him home just to realise it’s only false labour! That would be fair on him or his workplace 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
peterpan765 · 28/07/2020 08:23

Depends how long it would take him to come back from work?

I called by husband when contractions were 5 mins apart with my second as he was 30 mins away. We then had a drive to the hospital that takes another 30 mins and I delivered within 20 mins of arriving

MiddleClassProblem · 28/07/2020 08:23

Can’t you just give him little updates via text before the proper call?

Your second was fast but still with an induction so might be different without.

NatalieH2220 · 28/07/2020 08:27

How long would it take him to get home? If only quick then you have some time to play with but if not I'd do ASAP. I'm not as far along as you but will be calling my husband as soon as contractions start or my waters break. My labour was fairly quick last time so I'm not taking any chances.

Bmidreams · 28/07/2020 08:28

This is about you, not him or his work place. Just call him asap.

Sunnyrainshowers · 28/07/2020 08:29

I wouldn't wait, to be honest, I'd want him on the road at the first contraction.
I had a very quick labour on my second, but because my first had been very slow, I dawdled about and barely got to the hospital in time.
Better safe than sorrySmile

Original poster
Isitbedtimeyet4 · 28/07/2020 08:29

@peterpan765 About the same for him, 30 minutes away, and then about 40 minutes to the hospital!
@MiddleClassProblem oh I’m definitely going to let him know if I think something is happening, I just don’t want to jump the gun on getting him home, or give birth in the car 😂😂

OP posts:
LivePositively · 28/07/2020 10:09

Why don't you ask him at what stage he'd like to be called.

Superscientist · 28/07/2020 10:29

My partner works 60-90 minutes away and doesn't get mobile phone signal in the room he works in so I will be contacting him as as I get signs of labour. It will allow me to attempt a few routes of communication to get hold of him. His work is also not always something you can drop immediately so he might need a short amount of time to be ready to leave work.

If you think your partner would benefit from a "heads up" that he might need to leave work whether that is because of a long journey or needs to prepare to leave work for a prolonged period (assuming he is taking paternity leave) I would call straight away and then give a follow up call or message when he needs to leave. If he doesn't need the heads up I would call whenever you feel you want/need him there.

icebearforpresident · 28/07/2020 11:00

I had a 57 minute labour with my second baby and (now) live over an hour from the hospital, I wouldn’t be letting my husband leave the house.

Phone him sooner rather than later, even if it’s just to put him on stand by that he might need to leave at short notice.

HildaSnibbs · 28/07/2020 11:12

Definitely call him sooner rather than later especially with third baby. I had my third in May - my midwife warned me that with the third, if you're having contractions and your waters break, the baby is coming VERY quickly... she was right! I was admitted to hospital having contractions every 5 mins (had been contracting on and off for 2 hours) but only 5cm dilated. Ten mins later my waters broke, about 15 mins after that DD was born. The midwife was saying to the trainee midwife "she's only in the first stage..." and literally two mins later she said "oh I see the head!"

So, I'd play it VERY safe on timings. And read up on how to deliver at home Wink

puzzledpiece · 28/07/2020 11:54

If the hospital is more in the middle may be meet him at the hospital? Of course if it's in the opposite direction from his work, then that won't work. I'd say 15 minutes apart if the waters haven't gone, but if they go first call him immediately because you will need to go in regardless. Tough if it's a false alarm, it's not every week

sunrainwind · 29/07/2020 12:41

I had an irritable uterus so was experiencing painful contractions for weeks before labour so I waited until they were very regular (every 5 mins) before calling him - if you haven't experienced anything like that then I'd call once you have had a few painful contractions - especially as you've laboured fast before! Is there anyone close by who can be on standby to take you to hospital?

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