Was this rude of me ? Top related

[AnastarziaAnaqway]

Boyfriend works in a 2nd hand store, he sent me a photo of a top he thought i'd like and wanted to get me, and asked what I thought. It was a great top, just a colour that really doesn't suit me, makes me look very washed out, plus i've got so many clothes already.

I told him this kindly but said I really appreciated the thought. He seemed a bit miffed, he said he still wanted to treat me so I pointed out something else.

Do you think I should have accepted the top regardless or that I was right to say it ?

No it’s fine to say you don’t want a top. If it’s the wrong colour you won’t wear it so it would be a waste.
Don’t give it another thought.

Of course you were right to reply as you did. I would have done the same.

How did he react? Is that what's made you start the thread? Or are you worried about how he would react?

I would have preferred to be told that it wasnt right, otherwise its a waste.
Maybe pop in the shop when you can and point sone bits out, then he can chose from them

Clothing taste is a very personal thing, I’ve been with DP for years and mostly think I’ve got his taste sussed but occasionally I still get it wrong, or he will buy something himself which I wouldn’t have guessed was his style. I don’t take it personally though because not liking a shirt I buy for him isn’t a personal insult against me - he’s just not into it! No biggie.

I think most reasonable people would prefer their partner was honest rather than pretending they were keen if they weren’t. And if you pretend you like that bright orange jumper someone got you, you might end up with an entire wardrobe of bright orange jumpers because that’s what they think you like!

No, clothes and dress sense are very personal. I’d much rather somebody told me hey didn’t like something than pretend they did and it go to waste.

But there’s a definite divide between people who acknowledge this and people who think that if they want to buy someone clothes then the person should accept and wear them: there are always threads on here along the lines of “I bought my mum / sister a really nice scarf / cardigan / handbag for her birthday but she never wears it and I think she’s being rude and ungrateful.”

No you were not rude. That's the point of him asking so not sure why he got upset.
Rather you tell him, it's not personal against him.

I had to gently persuade DH to stop buying me clothes because his taste was just bloody awful and he just didn't grasp sizes.

Much better that you told him rather than he bought it and you end up never wearing it.

Maybe it’s a man thing. My dad cooked this dish the other week and my mom admitted (after endless ‘do you like it? Do you really like it? Are you sure?’) that it wasn’t really her cup of tea. He acted like she’d accused him of poisoning her. But if she’d pretended she loved it he’d have made it next week, and the week after...