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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breastfed baby won’t take a bottle? 2 months

55 replies

Delizhop · 27/07/2020 00:21

Hi my baby girl is 9 weeks 4 days now. I’ve been breastfeeding since day one. We’ve had a couple of times I’ve fed her the bottle (pumped) and she’s been completely fine but it wasn’t a regular thing. She’s never liked dummies. Have tried.

Around 10 days ago I was at a family members and decided to give her a bottle so I could have a drink and she just refused. Crying until I gave in and breast fed. I have my partners and I anniversary this Saturday and we have somethings booked. As well as wanting time with just us for a couple of hours so she will be with her grandparents but we just can’t get her to bottle feed? We’ve tried everyday since the issue came up ten days ago.

I’ve tried tommee tippee closer to nature, I moved to a faster flowing teet. I then tried dr browns bottles. We’ve tried dummies again. My partner trying when I’m not in the room, when she’s half asleep; when she’s starving, when she’s not that hungry NOTHING will work. I even tried squirting it in her mouth with a syringe while the bottle was in. Tried freshly pumped, cooler, warmer. A warmer teet, a dark room, a quiet room, out of the house, in our bedroom. Me not there, me there. And nothing

The moment it’s in her mouth she screams like you are hurting her. Not forcing, not even touching gums just screams or she holds it and refuses to suck. If the milk does go in her mouth she spits it out. I’m really at my end? I would love my partner to have daily feeds for them to get a closer bond and us being able to celebrate our anniversary but I don’t see that happening? She would rather starve than have the bottle.

Anyone went through something similar? Did they get over it or not? Any tips?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/07/2020 00:25

Are you the only one who has tried to give her a bottle? If not, are you near her? Your baby knows if you're close by, and knows you have what she really wants. Try having someone else feed her when you are out of the house.

LucaFritz · 27/07/2020 00:26

Some babies just wont take a bottle or dummy ever my DS is 6 months ive done exactly the same as you with every bottle brand there is and he won't entertain them just screams and cries til he gets breastfed Confused hasn't really been an issue during lockdown but now i need to go to the salon or dentist etc i have no way of leaving him to do so

Donut93 · 27/07/2020 00:26

Have you tried MAM bottles?

tootiredtothinkofanewname · 27/07/2020 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

liquoricecravings · 27/07/2020 00:31

The minbie bottles have good reviews as breastfed baby bottles.

GrumpyHoonMain · 27/07/2020 00:33

Some babies don’t take bottles from their mums. Suggest you get your partner to try when you aren’t in the room.

liquoricecravings · 27/07/2020 00:33

And as pp said, you can drink when breastfeeding.

Feelingconfused2020 · 27/07/2020 00:38

The short answer is yes, I've been through exactly this. It's massively frustrating. My dd2 never took a bottle despite all our attempts. She started taking beakers at about 10/11 months from DH and then later from grandparents.

If it's the drinking alcohol don't worry too much, if it's the leaving her the reality is there isn't much you can do. Could you speak to grandparents and ask them to come to the restaurant at a specific time then give her a feed? I once did this when I was at a wedding all afternoon and evening and it worked quite well.

The only thing I will say is that 10/12 months may seem an age now but it will.pass so.quickly. dont worry about it. My children were sleeping a reasonable part of the night by 6 months so there's no reason why you.wont be able to.go.out.for a few hours then.

rosiejaune · 27/07/2020 00:41

You could just adjust your expectations and change your plans. Babies evolved to exclusively breastfeed for 6+ months, so it's you who is trying to do something biologically abnormal, not her.

Original poster
Delizhop · 27/07/2020 07:35

@Aquamarine1029 @GrumpyHoonMain it’s mainly my partner who tries to give her the bottle. In her room upstairs. She just screams and it’s getting to him a bit 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Delizhop · 27/07/2020 07:36

@tootiredtothinkofanewname I’ve never heard of that! Just ordered one on amazon. Hope it works! Thank you

OP posts:
ZeldalovesLink · 27/07/2020 07:41

It might be worth him trying again with you totally out of the house; if she knows you’re nearby, that might be stopping her. I would try going for a longish walk / drive / whatever an hour or so before she normally feeds and then have your husband try a bottle around normal feeding time or when she shows signs of being hungry. It might be that she’s more willing to accept it if you’re nowhere nearby.

katienana · 27/07/2020 07:41

My two never took a bottle. It meant that I didn't really get a break until they were 6 months and started weaning. Then we started with a lunchtime date so my mum gave baby his lunch while we were out and he fell asleep after. They do go longer between feeds when they get a bit bigger so you might be able to plan a break round feed times. It can be tough though when you feel a bit tied to the baby.

DappledThings · 27/07/2020 07:41

My first was like this, we persevered with me leaving the room for ages so that I could go to a hen do for 6 hours while he was 4 months. With my second we never got round to trying it. It wasnt worth the hassle.

DappledThings · 27/07/2020 07:43

Oh and yes, as others have said, you can have a drink and feed.

AdultierAdult · 27/07/2020 07:46

Mine won’t take a bottle from me, only my husband. MAM bottles work well for us. Oh and, as others have said, you can definitely have a drink and BF. Chin chin!

dotdashdashdash · 27/07/2020 07:47

My first was a bottle refuser and it just meant I couldn't leave him for longer than an hour (he fed every hour). It was hell. So restricting that I almost considered not breastfeeding my second.

DC2 was also a bottle refuser, but could be passified with some milk in a cup unless ravenous, and also fed less frequently so as long as I fed immediately prior to going out, I could go out for a few hours.

Phillymouse · 27/07/2020 07:47

Mine daughter never took a bottle or a dummy. I tried loads. I think some just don't.

Esspee · 27/07/2020 07:52

My first refused bottles point blank. I didn't even try with the second. It's just not worth stressing the baby. They went where we went and were discretely fed.
Once mixed feeding was introduced they both happily used dippy cups.

Esspee · 27/07/2020 07:54

That was sippy cups. 😁

MrsBobDylan · 27/07/2020 07:56

I know this isn't what you want to hear but all 3 of my bf babies refused bottles. I wished I'd just not given it any thought and not even tried bottles.

You have the next 30 years to have anniversaries without your baby there, just give in and share this one with her. Next year you'll be able to go on a night out!!

InTheWings · 27/07/2020 07:57

My eldest never took a bottle.

He just didn’t recognise it as a way to get satisfaction for his need to suckle / hunger. He wouldn’t accept a dummy either.

The advice I got from a feeding expert was to slip in a bottle two thirds of the way through a breastfeed, when their frantic need to be fed has abated and they are still in the ‘mum means food’ zone. If they play with the teat and discover that (Expresses) milk does actually come out then they might learn to accept it.

Didn’t work for mine and he didn’t take a bottle properly til he was about 1.

9 weeks is still a tiny baby. Leave it be for now and incorporate her into your celebrations.

IKEA888 · 27/07/2020 08:00

persevere she will take it but it will take time . Keep trying for a few minutes and then cuddle then try... not you though and not in your house!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/07/2020 08:01

A friend of mine had some success with her DH feeding the baby while lying on a changing mat rather than holding the baby.

PinkFondantFancy · 27/07/2020 08:02

Mine would never take a bottle. 2 things - you can still have a drink, just don't drink so much you risk dropping the baby! Lots of other ways for your partner to bond with your baby, it doesn't need to be linked to feeding.