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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

2 month baby refusing the bottle? Out of ideas?

48 replies

Delizhop · 27/07/2020 00:19

Hi my baby girl is 9 weeks 4 days now. I’ve been breastfeeding since day one. We’ve had a couple of times I’ve fed her the bottle (pumped) and she’s been completely fine but it wasn’t a regular thing. She’s never liked dummies. Have tried.

Around 10 days ago I was at a family members and decided to give her a bottle so I could have a drink and she just refused. Crying until I gave in and breast fed. I have my partners and I anniversary this Saturday and we have somethings booked. As well as wanting time with just us for a couple of hours so she will be with her grandparents but we just can’t get her to bottle feed? We’ve tried everyday since the issue came up ten days ago.

I’ve tried tommee tippee closer to nature, I moved to a faster flowing teet. I then tried dr browns bottles. We’ve tried dummies again. My partner trying when I’m not in the room, when she’s half asleep; when she’s starving, when she’s not that hungry NOTHING will work. I even tried squirting it in her mouth with a syringe while the bottle was in. Tried freshly pumped, cooler, warmer. A warmer teet, a dark room, a quiet room, out of the house, in our bedroom. Me not there, me there. And nothing

The moment it’s in her mouth she screams like you are hurting her. Not forcing, not even touching gums just screams or she holds it and refuses to suck. If the milk does go in her mouth she spits it out. I’m really at my end? I would love my partner to have daily feeds for them to get a closer bond and us being able to celebrate our anniversary but I don’t see that happening? She would rather starve than have the bottle.

Anyone went through something similar? Did they get over it or not? Any tips?

OP posts:

Pipandmum · 27/07/2020 00:26

With my first my husband was in hospital at six weeks so I swore with the next one they would get used to the bottle just in case.
Well, no chance. She never took it. Ever. Tried skipping a feed to make her hungry, tried having someone else feed her...nope. it was me or nothing. The health visitor said after three months no season why she couldn't use a sippy cup. I don't recall when she accepted this but she never had a bottle and by her first birthday down to one feed a day and then she just looked at me and stick her thumb in her mouth and it was over. Some babies are just stubborn. Your baby won't starve to death though - three hours between feeds is fine.

NaNaNaNaNaNaBaNaNa · 27/07/2020 00:39

My baby wouldn't take a bottle if I was anywhere he could see/smell/hear, only if I went to another part of the house.
And he will only allow MAM teats or soothers in his mouth; anything else is unacceptable. I tried lots of bottles and that was the only one he wouldn't scream at.

Some babies are really stubborn.

Purpleartichoke · 27/07/2020 00:48

Time will take care of it. I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s very early days yet. We worked on the bottle for about 3 months and finally ended up using a sippy cup instead. She was about 9 months at that point. If I had to do it over again, I would introduce a sippy cup with parent help around 6 months.

Purpleartichoke · 27/07/2020 00:52

Oh and the alcohol on your milk is the same percentage of alcohol as in your blood. You can have a drink and still feed. You could probably even have two.

redastherose · 27/07/2020 00:54

Sorry but my eldest would never take a bottle. I was beside myself as I had to go back to work FT when she was 12 weeks (this was 26 years ago) and tried for weeks beforehand to get her to take expressed milk from a bottle. Tired everything you tried and she just wouldn't have it. I think you will have to rethink your plans!

9PointsOnMyLicence · 27/07/2020 01:00

@Purpleartichoke

Oh and the alcohol on your milk is the same percentage of alcohol as in your blood. You can have a drink and still feed. You could probably even have two.

I'm sorry but this is inaccurate. The alcohol your baby would get from your milk is nowhere near the alcohol you would drink. It's miniscule. Have a few glasses and don't worry about it.

Momo2403 · 27/07/2020 01:05

I was in a similar position. My baby took the bottle then refused. I wrapped the bottle in a cloth that I had held close and it worked.

SickOfThisVirus · 27/07/2020 03:12

I didn't have this problem but a friend who did really recommended those bottles that look like breasts. Might be worth a try?

www.mimijumi.com/

dottycat123 · 27/07/2020 03:28

I had this with ds2. He would not have anything plastic in his mouth.I tried every available type of teat. When he was 10 months old I was admitted to hospital as an emergency, he went hours without milk and as he was used to a feed at night he screamed incessantly. Eventually he angrily took a bottle from my dh but never really liked it and moved to a cup. I don't want to sound too negative but at 9 weeks she is only just getting used to breast feeding and may not be able to switch between breast and bottle.

meghanisadick · 27/07/2020 04:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Blatant troll, now banned. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BereftOfInk · 27/07/2020 05:25

You need to sort this out or your poor baby will starve if your milk dries up. Stop letting this child dictate how it eats and force it to take the bottle. In my day people didn't pander to small kids like this

Words fail me....what a ridiculous and horrible thing to say.

OP please ignore what the pp said! If you're continuously bf there's no reason your milk will dry up. Your baby will not starve.

DC2 was like this. Refused a bottle. Every type. Refused every type of formula I could lay my hands on. Tried me there, me not there, MIL/DH. Not having it. Tried every type of dummy. Spat them out. Once she found her thumb she would self-settle (I like DC1 who had a dummy). Do I bf her til she self weaned.
Once she was 6 months we offered water, but would only drink from a sippy cup (with a rim rather than a hard teat) a or shot glass.
It also wasn't an issue at nursery, she refused there too, so they offered water in a cup. She absolutely did not starve!

cuntryclub · 27/07/2020 05:30

@meghanisadick

I searched up your user name after seeing some of your other comments this morning. How very apt it turned out to be

ShirleyPhallus · 27/07/2020 05:41

Following!

singme · 27/07/2020 05:46

Don’t worry OP your baby will not starve and if you are bf continuously your milk will not dry up. What a ridiculous comment. How can you force a baby to take a bottle?!

As PP said the alcohol you drink is diluted in your blood and the concentration in breast milk is the same as your blood.

For example the drink drive limit in England is 0.08% blood alcohol so a person having drank this would have 0.08% alcohol breast milk. Some orange juices are stronger than that! Not suggesting you drink to the drink drink limit but if you are safe to look after the baby then there’s no way enough alcohol in your milk to cause harm.

Sorry if you already knew that but I have seen a bit of confusion around that before!

singme · 27/07/2020 05:49

Also having this issue by the way and going to try some new teats today! And I introduced a bottle early but she just chews it now!

Twizbe · 27/07/2020 05:50

@meghanisadick

What the actual f?!

This is is terrible advice.

My eldest was combi fed and switched between bottles and breast no problem. My youngest refused all bottles and dummies.

In the end it was a fight not worth having. It meant we had to decline a wedding and daddy never gave her any milk feeds but that was ok. He has bonded with her just fine and doesn't feel like he's missed anything.

Tbh, I'd re think your anniversary plans (there will be other anniversaries) and just give in to this. Breastfeeding doesn't last forever and even in a few months time you'll notice that she will feed less often.

flissity · 27/07/2020 05:54

I may have missed it, but are you trying to give her formula in the bottle/syringe?
It maybe that she just doesn’t like the taste compared to breast milk?

DogElephantTigerShark · 27/07/2020 05:59

Oh, I’ve been here and it’s a horrible feeling. The thing that saved me with my stubborn breastfed baby was a bottle my friend lent me. I think it’s meant for babies who don’t have the usual suck reflex so is something of a halfway house between a bottle and a soppy cup. It’s this one which is very pricey but worked for us www.sweetcare.com/medela-special-feeding-devices-p-001689md?country=gb&curr=gbp&st=01&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIt7KozdLs6gIVzOvtCh2kMQ8PEAQYASABEgJLW_D_BwE
Good luck!

AngelOfTheSilence · 27/07/2020 06:16

I’ve been through this twice.
2 out of 4 children were complete bottle refusers and I spent a fortune trying pretty much every bottle you can buy in the uk.
In the end I gave up trying. It’s hard when you need a break but I just kept telling myself ‘it won’t last forever’ and it didn’t.

I found that once they got a bit bigger and settled into a routine, I could plan leaving them with grandparents for a couple of hours between feeds and then by the time they got to 6 months and we’re having solid food I could push that couple of hours to a bit longer as they could be distracted with a yoghurt/ finger foods till I got back.

I think what I’m trying to say is you just end up working around the breastfeeding instead of stressing out trying to get them to take an alternative.

Also as pp have said, it is fine to have a couple of drinks when you’re breastfeeding.

Thecaravan · 27/07/2020 06:25

My DDs were like this despite introducing bottles very early. I had to return to work at 4 months old with both of them so they had to go to full time childcare. The first day or two was tough as they didn't like bottles but after that they took them no problem for me or nursery staff. They used to feed them just as they were going to sleep or even when they were asleep and they would be more likely to take some. Could you ask your parents to take her for a few hours each day for a few days so you are away and they can keep trying?
Also I realised my breastmilk went sour within about 36 hours so if you can try to give as fresh as possible. Agree with PP as well that you can enjoy a few drinks and the amount of alcohol in your milk will be miniscule so don't worry unless your planning a night of jagerbombs!

littledrummergirl · 27/07/2020 06:25

Try using a bottle lid as a cup rather than the bottle. This worked for ds1.

Newdaynewname1 · 27/07/2020 07:26

Have you tried formula? Both of mine (breastfed until well over 1 year) completely rejected breastmilk from a bottle, but were fine with formula.
I went back to work at 4 and 6 months, so they had to accept bottles.

LadyLaSnack · 27/07/2020 07:34

Make sure to only try when she's not hungry for a while - so that the bottle something interesting to play with in her mouth with the added bonus of a wee milky treat instead of (to her mind) a substandard, tricky, less cuddly feeding device which she's having none of when she's already hungry.

Logic says to give the bottle when she's hungry as when human beings are hungry they are generally less fussy about what they eat...but logic and babies don't always go together!

Rosebel · 27/07/2020 09:16

Has your husband tried giving her a bottle? I have heard if the baby can smell your milk and feel your body then they are less likely to take a bottle. Might be worth seeing if she'll take a bottle from him.

Lazypuppy · 27/07/2020 09:42

I could never give a bittle to start with, it had to be someone else, and i left the house for the first few times

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