I desperately need advice.

[TeddyIsaHe]

Trigger warning (self harm)

I am struggling, and finally realised that I can’t continue cracking on with every day and suppressing everything.

Last night everything came bursting to the forefront. I had a HUGE fight with Dp ending in me self harming quite badly (not suicidal, it is just sometimes the only thing that helps get my insane emotions out)

My dad died 2 months ago very unexpectedly at the age of 65. I haven’t cried, mourned, grieved and now I’m terrified that it’s pouring out of me and I can’t control it anymore. I have a young daughter, and I had to go to hospital last night for treatment due to my harming.

I’ve got a meeting with a mental health team tomorrow at the hospital, and I’m petrified. I don’t know what to do anymore. Dd is perfectly safe, she was at her dads this weekend, and I can’t hold everything in when in mum mode. But the second she goes to nursery or her dads, everything comes crashing down. What do I do??

*and I CAN hold everything in when I’m mum mode.

So sorry you are going through this

Talk to the team tomorrow and get everything out, including telling them about your Dad; that must be so hard

Sounds like counselling could be a good idea to help you through the healing process

Hi OP,

I’m so sorry to read about what’s happened to you and what you are going through. Really sorry that I don’t have specific specialist advice to give but just wanted to give you a hand hold and some support any way I can.

I’m so glad to read that you’ve got a meeting arranged with the mental health team tomorrow. I’m sure they’ll know exactly how how best to help and support you and to help you recover.

I’m so sorry to read about your Dad and how incredibly painful the situation must be for you. I really want to mention as well that you’re doing so brilliantly well, and you sound like an absolute credit to you and your daughter

Stay strong x

So sorry to hear this. Your response is completely understandable. I hope they will be able to give you good support at the meeting. This probably sounds pathetic but do you ever write things down in a private notebook....I find that helps me. Just free writing by myself. Really hope things improve, I'm sure they will. ❤️

Hey op, we are all here for you to talk to tonight.
Loosing your dad will have got you so hard and grief comes in many ways. I have been there I know the pain, it doesn’t always come in tears.
Just keep talking and know we are here to listen and talk to the team tomorrow. You are not alone x

OP, it sounds like you are having an incredibly difficult time at the moment. It's natural to be scared about your appointment tomorrow, I would be exactly the same. Please be as honest with the team as you can be as that will enable them to give you the best care possible. It might be an idea to jot some things down like you have done on this post to keep things fresh in your mind. Also can you take anyone with you for support?

Thank you all so so much. I feel like I’m losing my mind and your replies have grounded me.

Grief is just a total shit. I wish it was quantifiable - I’ve done that bit so I can move on. But it’s weird and horrid.

I’ll write everything down. I’m prone to downplaying things for ease, but I think now is not the time.

Hi op, I used to self harm and was under care of the mental health team for a time. I was so scared it would call into question my ability to parent but they were very supportive. Please be honest with them so you can get the help you need.

Take care tonight and keep posting if you need to

I am so sorry @TeddyIsaHe. I wish I had some advice for you. I have found myself self harming in my 30s and I don’t know why I suddenly can’t cope otherwise after 16 years but tomorrow morning I am booked in to speak to a therapist and maybe that outlet could help you too. I’m so sorry. I wish I could give you a hug x

I’m only 31. I should still have my dad here.