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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To meet or not too meet?

10 replies

Ginbunny1212 · 26/07/2020 21:43

Need a bit of advice. I am not too sure my distrust of internet guys are clouding my judgement.

Met a guy OLD 2 weeks ago. We got it off via chat and quickly swapped numbers. The conversation flows and we chat via text everyday. Few texts whilst at work at quite a few more in the evenings. However a few red flags :

  • he says he has his own business consultancy and employs a large number of staff. He won a contract worth a few millions, shared the amount with me after a few days. Is he telling the truth? Seems a bit braggy
  • he celebrated and got drunk. Tried to initiate a dirty text exchange. I wasn’t engaging. Told him not doing this with someone I don’t know. He said fair dues, will be in his best behaviour
  • we arranged a date for last weekend. He texted in the morning to say he was ill and had a sickness bug. Cancelled and wanted to rearrange. He texted during the day saying was I’ll
  • took a few days to rearrange. Now next weekend. Says he is in Poland for business from last Thursday for a week. He says previously he travelled a lot and now only does it occasionally. He sent pictures of Poland, but he wasn’t in it.
  • he tried to initiate another dirty text exchange. Said he was bored alone in hotel. I ignored him and he apologised

So are these genuine red flags or just a guy clueless about internet dating? He isn’t love bombing me, as the majority of chats are innocent. Just something feels off - probably more I am more suspicious as he cancelled first date due to illness. Am I being unreasonable to ghost him?

OP posts:
Baluchistan95 · 26/07/2020 21:56

I think you already know the answer. don't you?

Crunchymum · 26/07/2020 22:01

You really have to ask? Shock

The dirty texts alone would be enough for me to block (especially as you said no the first time!)

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 26/07/2020 22:03

he is more likely to be unemployed, married with 4 kids rather than a jet setting businessman worth millions.

stepmumSW5 · 26/07/2020 22:04

@Ginbunny1212 red flags, run

SistemaAddict · 26/07/2020 22:08

If this is him when he's trying to impress you I dread to think what he'll be like when he thinks he's got you. He sounds like a sleazy wanker who wants you for wank fodder. Run!

stepmumSW5 · 26/07/2020 22:09

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay spot on

Ginbunny1212 · 26/07/2020 22:23

I hope he is genuine. Seems nice via text. He has only tried the sleazy talk twice. But not in a sexual way. In my mind If we meet next week great. If he cancels then ghost.

I am distrusting as the last guy was married and I found out after a few dates. Had a few people lie about things too. I don’t want to write him off too soon, but again don’t want to be made a fool.

OP posts:
SistemaAddict · 26/07/2020 22:28

Your gut is talking to you. Listen to it. Don't waste your time on a date and don't put him in control of whether or not you meet. Where's your self esteem?! You are worth more than a guy who wants drunken dirty messages with a stranger he's not even met. Ugh.

LouLou2020 · 26/07/2020 23:02

Can you ask him what his company is called, then do a bit of googling, check linked-in, etc. ?

winepls · 26/07/2020 23:04

What @loulou2020 said. And companies house.

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