To ask if you have ever been through a rough patch?

[isthisyearoveryet]

Not really an aibu but kind of is as I'm not sure if I'm being completely over the top.

I've been with OH for 4 years very happy couple of years lots of holidays we had no money problems travelled everywhere with the kids we loved it. Then OH dad business went bust and now he's stuck in a low paid warehouse job.

Now we're both miserable as hell two kids that are draining the hell out of us not much sleep as DS gets up early and OH is waking up at 4 for work and doing long shifts. So he is very unhappy.

Yesterday we had a argument over who is doing the food shopping very petty but we was both exhausted we do normally do it together we ended up getting a takeaway and we're going to do it today when he finishes.

We're moving house next month much nicer town kids will be going to nursery I will go back to work and OH is going into a part time job and staying with the kids. I'm just worried that we will move into a lovely new house and things will be the same.

OH won't be working full time anymore but I will be but with more flexible hours. I still love him very much but I'm very worried about things not changing when we move.

Aibu? I'm not sure if this a rough patch we're going through I just don't know. Has anyone else been through a rough time in their relationship and things worked out in the end?

I dream of us being happy again one day.

So dh is getting up at 4 and doing long shifts but you won’t do food shopping? And you’re not working?

Otherwise seems like you’re both stressed. Temporary. It’s awful losing a job and moving house so hopefully with some give and take, things will pick up.

I wouldn’t worry to much, this is very much the stress of the situation having an impact on you all as individuals and as a result on you as a family.

You have a plan in place to rectify some of the stressors - the only thing I’d be concerned about is your husbands job. Is there a plan to change/improve this with him?

Ride it out, be kind (all of you), and when the children return to nursery and you to work maybe take a half days leave and spend some time just the two of you.

We had a rough patch for years when our kids were small and we had a lot of other family and work stresses. We were so far from being each other’s priorities that we very much drifted apart, and were each resentful of each other’s life to a certain extent. Throw in a badly sleeping child and we were very much going through the motions.

Things are much better now but not the same as before. DH has put on weight and wants to retreat a little into a solid, comfortable life; now both our kids are at school I feel like I am just getting my life back and things are getting easier. As a life partner and father DH is fantastic and he’s worked like a beast through some very challenging times for us all.

High stress workload and young children are a killer - if we had had money concerns or health issues I really don’t think our marriage would have survived long enough to get to the easier stages.

It’s exhausting staying at home with children especially when money is tight. But it’s also exhausting working long hours in a job you hate.

If your just arguing about who’s doing the shopping when all that is going/gone on I don’t think your doing too bad.

Sign up to online shopping and do delivery saver/click and collect. Much easier than trying to do with kids and you can keep an eye on what your spending!!!

I never thought my DH and I would survive our 5-7 years marriage, but now in our 11th year and I genuinely couldn’t love him anymore.

It’s hard work tho, and I really did not want to break up our family at any cost. It was worth it tho.

@AlwaysCheddar it's that time of the month and I get very anaemic so I don't like to go on my own as I get very dizzy.

Aw it's so nice to hear! We both still love each other and I know we wouldn't want to break our family up. But I do worry about the arguing whenever he has a day off we end up arguing and I hate it.

I'm hopeful that things will get better for us I do think I need to be a better partner too. I do blame him for a lot of things but I'm not perfect myself.

I've been with DP for 8 years and have definitely had a few rough patches! I think everyone does in RL.

Speaking as someone who gets up at 3.15am for work 5 days a week, it's hard. Really hard! I have become a bit miserable since starting it. It drains the life out of you. Weekends are spent wanting to nap to catch up. I cba to do anything in the week after work. Like your OH mine is only temporary and I know when I stop doing it I will feel like a different person! So please hang in there and understand how difficult it is.

Small children are also difficult! I know when we had our first we went through a bad patch. But with a bit of work and time we got through it!

If you really love each other and want to be with each other you will get through this. Just remember relationships are work and you do have to work at them to keep them going. Just hang in there!

The important thing is how much you want to make it work and whether you will both put a lot of effort in.

Dont go to bed on an argument and communicate. Remind him how you feel and that you will get through this stronger.