Aibu to turn the telly down?

[staceyflack]

Just walked in the front room... behind my DP, telly was blaring. I picked up the remote and turned it down. Not off. Not over. Down... as so very loud. He has hit the roof... "I'm acting like he's not there!! Blah... blah, blah. I said if he needs it that loud, I'd go in a different room, but no... he turned telly off, and stomped off. What now? 🙄

Turn on whatever you want to watch at an acceptable volume and ignore his temper tantrum

I'd have turned it straight back up again if I were him.

So you were prepared to go into another room and leave it on loud but instead you turned it down without saying anything? It would have been polite to say something first.

But it’s such a small thing. Not really sure why it needs a thread here but I think that about many things on here.

I'd have asked why it was on so loud and asked if he minded me turning it down as it was something he was watching.

DHoans I have the telly on too loud but I struggle to hear it at his volume

@BritWifeinUSA

So you were prepared to go into another room and leave it on loud but instead you turned it down without saying anything? It would have been polite to say something first.

But it’s such a small thing. Not really sure why it needs a thread here but I think that about many things on here.

how can she say anything with the TV blasting out? I regularly turn the TV down to talk

@BritWifeinUSA

So you were prepared to go into another room and leave it on loud but instead you turned it down without saying anything? It would have been polite to say something first.

But it’s such a small thing. Not really sure why it needs a thread here but I think that about many things on here.

agree with the above.

it does seem a rather provocative thing to do, as if you are punishing/ correcting him, like a naughty child.
why did you know enter the room where you could be seen and politely suggest that it may be a little loud, could it be turned down.
you interrupted his viewing, may have been a crucial part of drama/documentary, and often one becomes emotionally involved in a programme; you barged in, disrupted that, may also have startled him.
go and apologise. when there is an ad break/end of programme.

I’d have commented that I thought it was loud and asked if he could turn it down rather than just doing it.
It would piss me off if someone did that to me as it’s bad manners to lack courtesy.
I would have done the same with my children too.

I think you should ask first

Oh he sounds like such a brat! You only turned the TV down, JFC.

Eh, it sounds like he's just having a paddy to me.

I often turn the TV down, DH turns it up, I walk past later wondering how it got loud again and then it down, a few minutes later DH turns it up probably wondering how it got so low again and it repeats all night.

I do think you're a bit unreasonable if you did so without talking to him, which sounds like that's the thing that irked him. Not the actual turning down of the volume, but more of a dismissing of his presence.

Maybe he's stressed and this was just a bit too much? It's definitely a strong reaction alone. If he's not like this often it's probably best to let him cool down on his own.

Seems a bit patronising and snippy. I would think you were trying to pick a fight.

Just ask him to turn it down.

I need the TV at a much lower volume than others, so when anyone else is watching it sounds ridiculously loud to me - I wouldn't ever turn it down though.

If it was at hurting my ears uncomfortable I'd ask but wouldn't take it upon myself.

What you did sounds passive aggressive. I can sort of understand his frustration, although the way he went about it sounds pathetic.

Just walked in the front room...
I said if he needs it that loud, I'd go in a different room

But you already were in a different room?
YABU to just unilaterally walk into the room and without explanation turn the volume down. He's right, you did act as though he wasn't there.

Thanks for your answers. I thought it was a small thing too, it's got a thread on here, because he didn't! Anyhow, seems I was rude, basically and, yes he feels ignored / irrelevant / disrespected I guess. So, thanks for putting me straight, as ever and I'll go and make him a cuppa. Have a good weekend all. 💐