It is a pattern I see reoccurring in my life time and time again. I help people lots, I initially enjoy doing it but then I do end up feeling burnt out. Then I will see someone come along and offer the bare minimum of help and they will be thanked profusely and emphatically.
A relative is recovering from a hip injury which has limited their mobility. For the last week I have prepared all of their meals aside from one, cleaned, done the dishes, looked after their pets, etc. Basically dropped everything to be there for them. They have said thank you a few times. My brother and cousins have not helped aside from one meal my brother prepared for them because I had a work meeting I couldn't miss. The relative thanked my brother profusely for this and it was made into such a big deal that he had been so kind and helpful to do them such a big favour. I don't help people for the recognition or the thanks. However when I compare how I am treated compared to others when I do favours for people it just leaves me with the impression that my time and energy isn't as important or worthy as others'. I end up feeling kind of embarrassed for thinking I ever was being appreciated.
I try to put boundaries in place but evidently I need to be better at that. For example with this situation I spoke to my family members and told them I couldn't do everything and they needed to contribute help and they all sort of muttered that they agreed and then didn't do anything. If I told them specific things to do they would tell me I am being bossy and not to tell them what to do. For context I should also add that all the relatives in question are male and there definitely is some underlying sexism contributing to this particular situation which they would deny. However it also happens in other situations. A relative will be moving house and will ask for help and I will be the only one to turn up to help, a friend needs advice and I dedicate time to talking things through with them and helping them and then end up getting dropped when I need their support in return, etc.