Situation: DD is 6. She has a couple of medical issues but was not shielding officially (although I kept her away from supermarkets etc. as much as possible). I am also a single parent.
A few weeks ago I was told DD needs major surgery. For two weeks before DD goes to in to hospital as a household I will need to shield with DD, and we will be kept in hospital for 3 days following surgery where I will not be able to leave DD at all. Then while DD recovers she needs to be kept shielded for at least the first week. So we’re looking at 3-4 weeks shielding, no seeing my family who help loads, DD won’t be able to go and see her father etc I know that’s nothing compared to the 13 or so weeks others did but I am terrified of how I will manage. My MH has taken a real hit with the fear of this and the impact on DD socially as she may miss a lot of school and she absolutely loves going to her dads (she didn’t see him during the lockdown and took it really badly even though we explained to her why; ExH had to work and they didn’t tell him of his shifts far enough in advance anymore for him to have a set arrangement so we decided it was best he maintained contact via skype/facetime and then eventually he saw her for half an hour or so in our garden).
DDs consultant said that both DD and I should wear masks if we do go into shops until we get the letter telling us when the operation will be. I am technically exempt as I have a heart condition and DDs medical issues mean that she needs to be able to see me speak but I am doing it because I do not want to jeopardise my DD having this surgery which will improve her life.
As I know I will not be able to take DD out at all in a few weeks’ time (been told I will get the letter in 5-8 weeks and the surgery will be 6 weeks or so after the letter arrives to give me chance to “prepare” for the shielding) I’ve been trying to do “normal” things as best I can with her; eating out, going to the park, and when the local pool reopens we’ll go swimming plus other “normal” things. DD wanted to go to the big supermarket today to get some new pyjamas for her to wear in hospital. DD looked adorable in her mask (although it did upset me a bit) and so I took a picture of the two of us and put it up on my facebook.
One of the school mums has just messaged me a huge rant basically saying the virus is fake, I should not be conforming with this stupidity, I should be setting an example to my DD and not teaching her to conform to the whims of the government. It was a huge long rant, basically criticising my parenting and saying that covid tests and testing was a hoax by the government to control us all. She ended it with “I cannot forgive you for this; I thought you were my friend and we were on the same wavelength”.
I always take extra precautions when out, use my own hand sanitiser on both me and DD before and after going in any shops. DD and I remove all our clothes when we get in from being out and they go straight into the washing machine, we then wash our hands with warm water and soap. I would never ever do anything to jeopardise my DDs health knowingly but even more so at the moment as a positive test for covid in either of us could delay the surgery by 3 months or longer as they won’t do it until we both test negative again.
I just want to tell her to f**k off, she has no idea about my life. I want to say that if she can’t respect my decisions as a parent to my child (not hers, what she does with hers is up to her). She is aware of the operation as I posted on the class whatsapp asking if anyone who’s been in contact with DD gets a positive covid test could they let me know ASAP even if they do it via private PM on Facebook because of the operation (some of the parents are nurses working on covid wards and we only finished school last week so I will need to know).
AIBU to just tell her where to go? Or is she right?
Will add here I have anxiety so justify myself with everything, I know MN hate that