What is the current situation with wedding's?

[Frazzled193736]

Morning. My sister in law is getting married in a few weeks, all still planned to go ahead. They've not even mentioned to anyone that it might not be

Have any of you got weddings coming up? Are you planning on going ahead with it? I feel so sorry for them that it may not or if it does it may not totally be the day they had planned.
Theirs is a medium size wedding I suppose, 40 in the day, 100 at night.

Im a very anxious person and have steered clear of large groups of people etc, because I am in the clinically vulnerable group. I am a little anxious about attending, aibu?

Hi @Frazzled193736 this is the latest guidance, updated on 17th July, which should help you www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships

If it's a church wedding, I know these are limited to 30 people, singing is not permitted etc, but there is a lot of guidance being sent out all the time.

As to your attendance, that has to be a personal choice, maybe have a chat about the arrangements that have been made with your relative and then see how you feel about it

I’m also helping someone close to me organise their wedding in November. It’s an absolute nightmare. Most places aren’t open to organise things, and she has had to reduce her list of guests to 30 (total). This includes the registrar, photographer etc.

She has contacted people and said I would love for you to be able to bring your family but as of right now, there isn’t capacity to bring kids and partners etc. Some people are reluctant to RSVP too.

It’s such a shame. If you can’t go or don’t feel comfortable attending, please make sure you tell them ASAP so they can allocate your place to someone else.

Why is singing not permitted? I did a bride's makeup today and she said dancing is not permitted either!! Bloody hell... we're deep into Gestapo territory now...

Yea she's not doing any of this, she's just planning everything as normal. Full numbers invited, everything arranged etc. Hasn't even mentioned the covid issue to anyone at all.
The wedding is at a venue where everything happens in the same place, wedding, meal and evening reception. I really hope by then things are easier and it can go ahead for them as normal.

@Mimishimi

Why is singing not permitted? I did a bride's makeup today and she said dancing is not permitted either!! Bloody hell... we're deep into Gestapo territory now...

Because of the droplet transfer in the air. They’ve also said that if music is to be played by a band or orchestra, it is not to include wind instruments.

Mimishimi because it spreads coronavirus really well. Any activity which involves forced/heavy/ exaggerated breathing does. Singing (e.g. weddings or choirs) also involves large numbers of people who are both increasing the risk of spreading it AND catching it.

She's planning everything as normal for up to 100 guests at night? I hope she's spoken to the venue at least to check that's OK. I'd be surprised if it is.

There’s some research ongoing about singing and woodwind/brass instruments so that may clarify in a bit. There’s a suggestion singing at least is not as dangerous as previously believed.

@Frazzled193736 Boris has said they will not review gathering sizes until mid November’s it’ll be 30 people for the ceremony and reception, including photographer, registrar and some venue staff.

@ShellsAndSunrises

Where / when did Bojo say this? If that’s the case I need to tell my sister not to get her hopes up and just plan as well as she can for the 30 guests :(

She needs to start making changes right now. Tell her to call the venue (surprised they haven’t been in touch tbh) and find out what she’s allowed.

@Mimishimi - look up the study of the choir practice in the USA which resulted in around 40 infections and 2 dead (out of around 60). They were all socially distancing in the hall. No hugging, no sharing food and drink.

I'm presuming the venue has already spoken to her. They did include a leaflet in the invitation to say please be understanding if there has to be changes. It's not for a couple of months yet, I think she thinks it'll be all ok by then.

Personally if it was me I would have changed it to next year. Its the lack of info from the government that makes everything so difficult. They don't give any review dates or anything to work towards

You've said the wedding is in a few weeks?? She needs to contact the venue as a matter of urgency as the guidelines will be underpinning everything a venue does for a while yet and she must not assume that things will be as she she thinks, depending on space etc they may already have put strict limits in place

@Frazzled193736 please show her this part of the guidelines as it reads that there is no way that she will be having 40 or 100 people:

Large wedding receptions or parties should not currently be taking place and any celebration after the ceremony should follow the broader social distancing guidance of involving no more than two households in any location or, if outdoors, up to six people from different households.

However, from 1 August, small wedding receptions will be able to take place - this means sit-down meals for no more than 30 people, subject to COVID-19 Secure guidance

It's not till September. She seems to think it will be all back to normal then.

I hope the decision will be taken out of her hands (although I do feel desperately sorry for them) because as I said in my op, on a personal level I don't really want to attend anything like that at the moment, and if it goes ahead then I (and probably others who are invited) will almost feel forced to go!!!

I thought the government said unless things get worse again there will be no new guidelines until November. I’m assuming they want to get an idea of the impact of reopening schools.

@GlitterDragon In the last announcement, when he announced that receptions were allowed.

"It is my strong and sincere hope that we will be able to review the outstanding restrictions and allow a more significant return to normality from November, at the earliest, possibly in time for Christmas."

I’m sorry for your sister There’s a few people in wedding groups still holding out for any hope of a change but it seems pretty certain that none are expected. It’s been a rough time to be planning a wedding!

I hope she gets a day she loves, either now or down the line... it’s super tough

@ShellsAndSunrises thank you

I guess all we can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. As wonderful as wedding are, they are not a priority right now.

I'm gutted reading this, we have already had to postpone our June wedding to end January I hadn't seen anything about guidance not being reviewed until November

I’m sorry, @FattyBoom. I watched his speech so haven’t read much coverage of it but I thought it would have been mentioned... sorry that you found out here.

We were in the same boat, but we’ve cancelled and have a little ceremony and socially distanced celebration with a few people in a few weeks. I’m excited, it’s very different to what we planned but the stress of not having to constantly wait and adjust was immense for us. We’ll do an anniversary party at some point when life seems more normal.

If you’re sticking it out, I hope the November changes are what you need

This is the guidance for England (other home nations are similar)

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships/covid-19-guidance-for-small-marriages-and-civil-partnerships

30 people, no singing, chanting, instruments that are blown (a distanced professional might be OK, but recordings are the recommended way) service to be a quick as reasonably possible, SD in force (2m or 1m with masks), receptions discouraged, but very small parties (in line with whatever social distancing and gathering size regs in force at the time) are not banned.

Her plans do not sound permissible at present

Thanks @shellsandsunrises I had seen 30 from 1st August but hadn't seen anywhere about November being the earliest next review.

We are kind of stuck as the venue won't refund what has been paid so far and the insurance won't cover anything related to Government act, so if we don't stick it out we'll be at least £15k down, (and that's before all of the other cancellation fees). Luckily we hadn't got as far as confirming numbers so it's only the venue fee and minimum food/drink spend that's at risk, but we don't want to write all that off if there is any chance numbers may increased.

30 would just about cover family, but there are friends that we would have present before anyone outside of our most immediate families, so we are likely to end up with a political nightmare or an exceptionally expensive small wedding filled with people that we are mostly inviting because of family pressure. We'll figure it out but fingers crossed that some more definitive guidance comes at some point!

OP, if you feel uncomfortable going don't feel obliged to, just please let your SIL know ASAP so she can invite someone else/doesn't have to pay for you.

I cannot find anywhere at all about a November review. Can anyone post a link?

Ive spoken to her again tonight and she says the venue have told her they are certain it will be 100 % fine by then and going ahead as normal

Why is singing not permitted? I did a bride's makeup today and she said dancing is not permitted either!! Bloody hell... we're deep into Gestapo territory now...

No, we are deep into pandemic territory. Have you not noticed?