Toddler safety

[GoneToTheMovies]

Argument with partner yesterday...

He's meant to be watching our 2 year old whilst she plays in MIL garden and I make lunch in kitchen (3 rooms away with no view of garden). He pops in to make a cup of tea leaving her in garden. MIL is in garden but busy on phone pacing in and out of toddlers sight. He didn't ask his mum if she could watch her whilst he popped in. There's a pond in the garden next to where she's playing with thin netting i.e. i doubt it would hold a toddler falling onto it.

I have a go at him about leaving her without supervision. Later he leaves her running around upstairs (no stair gate) whilst he pops down to put phone on change. She can come down stairs fine but i always watch her incase she slips. Again I get very angry at him for leaving her unattended.

Am I overly paranoid about the risks - as he suggests?

YANBU. Never leave a child unsupervised next to water! Not to mention anybody could grab her. And if she slips on the stairs she could be seriously injured. Your husband is insane and totally irresponsible.

no you are not. he is neglectful. she is only 2 and not very aware of safety. that is his job while watching her. I would be very angry.

YANBU. The stairs, possibly OK if she's able to get up and down safely, especially if she's closer to her third birthday than her second.

The garden/pond, absolutely no way. You never never never take a chance with water, ever. Someone I know lost their toddler through drowning in a garden pond. There were three adults and an older child in the garden, the mum popped into the kitchen with the toddler to get a drink, toddler ran back out as mum was finishing up, mum thought nothing of her running on ahead, minute or so later the mum headed back out - no toddler. She hadn't run back out to the other people in the garden, she was in the pond.

Yanbu. 2 year old + pond/stairs = you don't take your eyes off them for a second! I'd be questioning if he's safe to look after her if his parenting instincts are that bad.

I have a 27 month old and granted, I'm probably more laid back than most, but I certainly leave my daughter for a few minutes at a time here and there (not that I leave the house, I mean I am in shouting vacinity!) in similar circumstances.

The thing I'd be annoyed about isn't about your DP being risk adverse, but more that you expressed an opinion about something you felt strongly about, and they went ahead and repeated it.

How have you got through the last 2 years in terms of DP 'watching' your child? Has there been issues before?

DousedInZoflora that's haunting. How awful.

YANBU OP - a few minutes alone watching TV is fine, anything near water and they need constant supervision.

I'm very relaxed and have a free ranging baby... But no, stairs and bodies of water are definitely a big risk.

Going by previous threads, that pond needs to be filled in straight away!

Stairs okay. Water definitely not.

We live next to a river. I think it's fine to have a pond (or river) that is accessible. I think it's a positive actually because of the wildlife it attracts. You just have to make sure your toddler is watched.

MyDH is very lax about these kinds of things, stairgates, nipping to the loo etc when our baby DS is very agile and can get himself on the kitcheb table and the back of the sofa where he then attempts to stand up.

I do generally have a go at DH when I catch him but he’s quite shruggy about it.

I think it’s just the difference between men and women (am I allowed to say that?) and a mother’s instinct.

I'm pretty relaxed about these things, dcs have pretty much free range of the house and garden. But near water and stairs, you bet they're being watched!!

Ds slipped down a couple steps on the stairs the other morning (he loves climbing them himself, so dh and I closely follow him up rather than carry him now) he wasn't paying attention and kept turning to make sure dh was behind him, missed the next step and slipped, dh caught him, but ds's got a nice bruise on his cheek now.

Thanks all, that's what I thought. For context it's not our pond, it's at MILs and we're rarely there. Just over for a few days...which has made my anxiety levels go through the roof, what a holiday!!

I will leave mine for a few minutes, even in the garden unattended but he can’t escape the garden and there’s no water in the garden.
The stairs i wouldn’t worry about if the child was normally good at stairs but the pond would be a no for me

I don't think I still had stairgates at that age for either of my children but I wouldn't have left them unattended near open water or in the bath. MIL was in the garden though but I'm not sure if you mean on a phone call or just texting/ looking at the screen which would be a bit different and it would depend on the size of the garden too. So I think you might be a bit overcautious, particularly about the stairs. I agree he should have asked MIL to watch her though so it was explicit.

My 2 year old wanders wherever, I don't watch her too closely these days (she's 27 months) but she's been walking since 10 months so is not in he slightest bit wobbly. Plus she mostly just follows her 4 year old sister around, who's a very nervous non trouble-making child. Even I would draw the line at a thinly netted pond though, ponds freak me out.

Thanks @UnbeatenMum that is really helpful. She was on phone call

I agree with pps. The stairs...I don't think is necessarily so bad, if she's confident getting up and down them and isn't a young 2 yo. But the pond thing is an absolute no. That is bonkers.

The stairs in my house are fine for our LO as she’s used to them- anywhere else, even relatives, no I follow her! As for the pond- I’d be watching like a hawk- it’s needs to be fenced off tbh.

The pond here is the issue. The stairs are fine.

Yanbu about the pond, but yabu about everything else. I'm pretty relaxed, my 2yo plays in her room or in the lounge without full supervision, i just check on her every so often, at that age they don't need to be with you 24/7.
Stairs, my 2yo knows not to come down by herself if walking, but she can on her bottom

Pond = yanbu at all

Stairs = depends on your child. My 2yo twins needed stair gate, my friends 2 yo never needed one but I'd be inclined to say yanbu there too

At 2 my DS was safe on stairs as he climbed up and bumped down without ever having accidents. The pond would terrify me! So DH is being VVVVVVU. If his DM is on the phone she may not even notice he's left the garden. He should have stayed in the garden watching her or if it was "urgent" taken DD with him back into the house

He has a child, he no longer has free reign to do what he wants when he wants!