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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed about this?

11 replies

Whatiswrongwithmykid · 24/07/2020 13:56

DH went to the pub the other night. He is not very good at knowing when to call it a night. So with the new rules, and I'm guessing no late night drinking available, he decided that he'd bring his mates back here when the pub closed to continue drinking.
We have young kids and so this would not be the obvious choice for a late night drinking venue imo. To add to this DH knows that I'm a bad sleeper and it always takes me forever to get back to sleep once I'm disturbed. He had been told in no uncertain terms that he was not to wake me when he got back (he's been known to start playing the sodding guitar at 3am). I'd already been kept up half the night before due to his snoring and I've been unwell so he knew I was desperate for a good nights sleep.
According to him it was ok as they sat in the garden and were "quiet". Well I think we all know that drunk people's idea of quiet is different to most people's and at that time of night sound really carries. My poor neighbours!
In the end I sent him some cross texts and told him to send everyone packing or I'd be down to do it myself. He's still not speaking to me and is acting as though I'm in the wrong. AIBU or is it not on to rock up at home at almost midnight with your drunk mates on a work night with your wife and young kids trying to sleep?
To add that it seems every time he goes out he manages to disturb me in some way when he gets back home so that I end up spending the next day feeling as tired as if I had been out myself!

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 24/07/2020 13:59

Your husband has a drinking problem. If every time he drinks he fails to recognise when to stop and he causes problems at home then it’s a problem. He needs to recognise this and take steps to address it.

Shizzlestix · 24/07/2020 14:29

Sulking like a child because you were woken, your neighbours were disturbed? He needs to understand that he has a family and others around him, which is more important than bringing his drunken mates home to continue the party. Selfish, selfish.

Shoxfordian · 24/07/2020 14:30

He sounds very inconsiderate

Whatiswrongwithmykid · 24/07/2020 14:31

Yes I'd say he does have a drinking problem - he disagree's!

He thinks he has a right to bring people round as it's his house too. Yes it is but I feel he treated the place like a student flat and not a family home.

OP posts:
Whatiswrongwithmykid · 24/07/2020 14:39

Those who voted that IABU care to elaborate?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 24/07/2020 14:56

He thinks he has a right to bring people round as it's his house too.

It's his house too. It's not only his house. He has to consider the needs of everyone in the house, not just himself.

He's a selfish drunk. I'm sorry, OP.

Smallsteps88 · 24/07/2020 15:09

Yes I'd say he does have a drinking problem - he disagree's!

Failure to accept this would be a deal breaker for me. I know everyone has different lines but for me I wouldn’t live with an alcoholic who wasn’t addressing it. I’ve seen where that ends up.

Chocoholic12 · 24/07/2020 15:54

YANBU very disrespectful to you, the children and the neighbours.

Shoxfordian · 24/07/2020 16:04

Does this happen often?

Milsplus3 · 24/07/2020 16:47

Don’t let him home next time, if he wants to drink himself to a state like an 18 year old then he can do it elsewhere. Put a lock across the door so he can’t get in and send him to his friends. I wouldn’t put up with this either. His denial means he doesn’t think his binge drinking or attitude is an issue and that would bother me.

GrannyBags · 24/07/2020 16:52

If it’s a one off then I’d let it go, but if this is a pattern then it’s more concerning.
I couldn’t be arsed with the sulking though.

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