My mum lives abroad, and she left me a voicemail at 7am this morning (me and my 2 kids weren't even up!) to say she can now book flights to visit, and can I let her know when in August I'm free.
By the time we got up, I did breakfasts etc and I hadn't even listened to it - then by 10am she messaged to say she's booked 9th-16th August. This is hugely inconvenient for me, for the following reasons:
- on 10th August, 4yo DS is going to exH's while I take DD (8, also ExH's child) to a theme park overnight visit. The reason being that before lockdown we'd booked the trip just the two of us as she had been feeling pushed out, DS is quite demanding and so I promised her a girl's trip away. ExH is taking DS to a football stadium.
- when DD and I check our the hotel on the 11th I'm driving her straight to exH's house so to spend the week there. He has them for 2 separate weeks in the summer and honestly this is my time to enjoy on my own. My furlough at work has been extended and I've really been looking forward to alone time, reading books, watching Netflix, getting my hair done etc in this week.
- I'm on flexible furlough meaning my work can ask me to work if need be. The kids are at ex's next week and I'm down to work some hours. Meaning the week my mum is meant to be here will be the only proper time off from work and kids I get this summer.
- my mum and I have a strained relationship, it's not easy going, being in her company is hard work and she's hyper critical. She comes over maybe once a year, the kids don't really know her. It's so stressful, she always makes a song and dance about "oh I'll help out and give you a break" but I ended up cooking all the meals, picking up after the ridiculous amount of luggage she brings, micro managing her (it's things like she won't open the blinds in the morning in case I "get mad" about it - which is ridiculous, she sits in the dark from about 5.30am with no TV on as she is basically a serial martyr).
I've spoken to DD and she doesn't want my mum coming away on the theme park trip with us (I'd have to fork out extra for a bigger room anyway) - she doesn't really know her to be fair and has been looking forward to spending one on one time with me. ExH is self employed and can't rearrange the dates we've already agreed. He also loves 2 hours away so it's not like we could pop over to see them.
WIBU to tell her to rearrange the dates or tell her to stay elsewhere? She's paid €130 for return flights (and no I can't afford to give her the money for this)?