To be feeling really really low and fed up.

[AngryPancake]

I know we are all in this together, but the fuel that’s kept my positivity up throughout this absolutely horrible year has just burnt out now and I feel so totally and utterly shit.

I’m in Scotland so things are a bit different here to the rest of the uk and it’s slow progress out of lockdown. The things that I do to keep me going are restricted or non existent and I am really starting to struggle.

Plus I got news yesterday that the one and only thing that’s really kept me going throughout lockdown (and actually before...it’s something that’s totally turned around my crippling my low self-esteem and anxiety and has kept me sane For a few years!) is now in jeopardy due to the fact that when the kids go back to school in a few weeks it’s going to be impossible for me to fit it in around the new timings of busses and pick up and just school life returning to this uncertain new normal. I’m totally devastated about this.

I’m mentally exhausted. I hate being trapped in my house most of the time, and a house that I absolutely hate because it’s falling apart and I’m really not happy with the complicated marriage I’m stuck in.

I just feel rotten. There’s nothing on the horizon to look forward to. I feel in a stagnant limbo and just so low.

Like I say I know so many others feel like this and I know I’m not the only one, but I just can’t pluck pleasure from anywhere. And it feels so forced upon me and completely out of my control! It’s like a depression that you know you can’t combat with any amount medication because everything is being devoted for you.

I feel so hopeless! Summer weather has been shit. I have no motivation.

AIBU to feel this way?

Devoted means decided. Sorry!

I know exactly how you feel. I lost my job during lock down, I had no notice, was told on the Tuesday that that would be our last day, so was very difficult to adjust. I found myself with nothing to do, no routine (which is a killer for me) and scared things will never be normal again (whatever normal is...)
I make myself get up early-ish, no later than 8am, I always shower and get dressed, it is so easy to fall into a slump, and I always try and leave the house every day, even if it's to the shop for a pint of milk, or a walk round the estate.
Its hard, depressing and miserable when the life you're used to just ends. If the change you talk about is your job, start looking for something now, apply for anything, in my opinion, being around people and out of the house trumps a good/successful job, for now at least. Please speak to your GP if you feel you're lost or down or whatever. Hope things pick up for you op. 💐

Just had breakfast out at our favourite cafe. It's been closed for four months. Utterly depressing. Most tables missing to ensure distancing, plastic screens dragged round us, floor marked out, etc. Its just shit thinking this is our lives now

Thank you so much for your replies. I have suffered from depression and anxiety before and was recently taken off meds. But this is a completely different feeling! It’s going to be such a huge mental slog coming into winter living with all of these uncertainties and not knowing what’s going to happen. Life wasn’t perfect before but all the shit I had to deal with I was able to cope coming up against by doing the things that make me feel so positive and happy. Without any of that on the horizon I can’t pluck any positivity from anywhere and move forwards.

It just feels so grim.

I do a couple of different (very part time!) jobs, neither of which have been affected. But the thing I’m referring to is just a hobby I have. It’s been so important to me during lockdown and knowing I may not be able to continue is heartbreaking as I’ve put so much heart and soul into it. I know it’s just one of those things. But it doesn’t make it any less shitty.

I feel for you, I really do.

My daughter found out last week that the place where she has found a much needed hobby will not be re-opening, and I'm afraid we both just broke down in tears. It's bloody hard lines at the moment.