Dude Perfect

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

I'm trying to explain something to DH but a) I'm struggling to think of an example to help me explain it better and b) there is a part of me that's wondering if I'm the only one with this problem.

There's a YouTube channel called Dude Perfect. The people who run that channel are men, they behave kind of like 'frat boys' and regularly show amazing feats, trick shots, sports, etc. As an example, today I watched a video where they enlisted the talents of a man who could cut anything by throwing a playing card.

I love the stunts they do! I love the talents they show people having. I was just trying to explain to DH that I've never really been able to 'get into' the channel, because the name and the format makes me feel like it's a boys club that I'm not invited in to.

I tried to think of a reverse example where he may enjoy the content but feel uninvited, to put it into perspective. I struggled though. I suggested women stunt driving but he said "I wouldn't mind that actually".

So no big argument or massive contention but it got me thinking. Am I just being weird? It's really not a big deal in the scheme of things, it's not like I was calling it misogynistic or saying I'd boycott it. I was just articulating how I perceive it.

Thoughts?

You watch a YouTube thing your husband doesn’t watch. I fail to see any issue. You trying to promote a YouTube channel ?

Perhaps overthinking it.

Would he feel comfortable going to his local WI meeting if they were talking about something he was interested in ?

Huh?  We both watch it. Just not regularly. I'm saying I don't like it very much, and I'm asking if my reasons for that are weird.

@fuzzymoon that's a good question! I'll see what he says. Knowing hi it'll probably be 'yeah why not' 😂 he doesn't seem to be affected by things without living the experiences himself.

I love it. I never felt excluded by the name. They’re dudes trying to get their shots perfect. What’s the problem?

Trust me they don’t need promoting ! Seem to be minted,

Lockdown stereotypes is quite funnny.

They seem harmless enough.

@fascinated I guess I'd say there is no problem. We were flicking through videos and he put that channel on. He said 'I love this channel'. I said I love what they do but I struggle to enjoy it as much for the reasons in my OP. It seems I'm being weird though, which is fair enough, he'll be happy to hear me say 'I guess I was wrong'

If you feel differently from me that’s ok - I do see what you mean a bit... They are very stereotypically male / frat boy and normally I’d hate that but as I haven’t seen anything really sexist or offensive (and I have watched like a hawk cos I wouldn’t want a bad influence for my kids) I’ve decided to just let it go and accept it for what it seems to be, a bit of harmless fun...

I did see a fab video of a woman doing giant domino setups. She was awesome. Can’t remember the channel but she rocked. Such talented people out there (I’m not!)

It's hard to find an equivalent as the power balance isn't the same between men and women. It can be intimidating and off-putting for women to enter an obviously male centric area (in real life or online) but men are so used to the world being accessible to them that they don't feel the same hesitancy.
There's no reason why there couldn't be a group called Perfect Shot where women and men could do similar things, so bring so overtly masculine does make it more exclusively for men.

What is your problem? If you like that channel why don’t you just watch it? I doubt they are aware a woman is watching their clips. Even if they are, they don’t care. What is the problem again?

Still no problem. I realised I didn't enjoy the show as much as DH and wanted to know if anybody could relate to that feeling.

I did just think of a good example though, I asked him if he'd be excited to engage in a Supernatural (the tv show) thread on MumsNet specifically. He said no, so I think there might be something to it.

@KickAssAngel that's almost exactly the sentiment behind my post. Thank god for somebody explaining it better than I can! I don't think the guys are doing anything wrong. I just don't feel like I'm invited 🤷‍♀️ and I don't have to be invited to everything.

@SuckingDownDarjeeling is the channel just male focused or is it actually misogynistic (even at a low level)? DP showed me "Chessbrah" The other day and I was surprised by how much it annoyed me when they called their opponents "bitch"

@CoffeePleb I'll be honest, I have a very poor misogynist radar. I make a shit feminist because half the time I don't realise the discrimination is happening and I need to be told.

The guys on this channel are very 'yeah bro', 'duuuuude', bumping chests, all that 'guy stuff 101'. I can totally see why that appeals to some men. I don't watch it often but from what I have seen, there's no 'anti woman' sentiment. And I can't imagine coming to a women's forum to complain about men having a male-oriented channel 😂 so I feel really silly that I managed to word my OP so badly.

You have an issue with a YouTube name... that’s kinda odd.

Oh and also, they do sometimes like to emasculate each other by using 'girly' words like pansy. I believe on paper that would be classed as misogynistic, but I kind of liked the 'not for girls' Yorkie bar campaign so I don't personally have a problem with that kind of language.

I've seen the channel thanks to ds (13) and agree that the skill is impressive but it's clearly not aimed at a 42 year old mum 😂 It's the same feeling as when I watch film/programmes aimed at teens like Pretty Little Liars- I enjoy it but feel a bit embarrassed at the same time. I suppose it's a guilty pleasure.

@netflixismysidehustle ahh that's a good point. I really liked the show Gossip Girl. But I am a little older than that generation (although still 21 of course ) so sometimes I felt a bit silly watching it, like I was trying to be something I'm not.

Since you can't enjoy guilty pleasures publicly you never get to enjoy it properly. Love Gossip Girl too. Used to watch it while doing night feeds

I might start watching it again Netflix  it's surprisingly good!

@fascinated sorry, I forgot to address what you said earlier. I agree with the harmless fun opinion. DH watches the channel and there were absolutely no arguments, I thought it was amazing watching that card guy. I'm not one of those weirdos that thinks the channel should be taken down or forced to include women. I do think however that they might be pleasantly surprised at the increase in views if they tweaked a few things. I kind of like the Slo Mo Guys better though, a lot more sciencey!

I totally get how you feel OP. My DP used to love watching Impractical Jokers. It was very funny sometimes, but then occasionally they would do something really ‘blokey’ that made me feel like I was not their audience and it was quite jarring. I can’t put my finger on it at the moment to be able to give examples, but I’m very aware of it at the time.

I tried to get him to watch Working Moms with me on Netflix as I’d found it really funny - I warned him there were lots of breastfeeding bits - but he didn’t quite get into it as much as I did, probably for similar reasons, he just couldn’t relate to it, despite it being very amusing and entertaining.

Way too much time on your hands to be overthinking this. My son and daughter love Dude perfect. Never once has she felt she can't access or enjoy their video content.

That sounds like a good show @MarkRuffaloCrumble ! I'll be giving that a watch. Working Moms I mean . Impractical Jokers is another great example. That show is hilarious and I will happily watch it with DH. I actually introduced it to him! It just sometimes is a bit 'duuuuude' and I find myself checking my phone, while DH is next to me in hysterics. Then on the flip side, sometimes I'm in fits of laughter at Broad City but I can see he doesn't quite 'get it', but he thinks that's a hilarious show too! I also don't think he'll ever watch Sex and the City with me Thanks for helping me think of better examples.

Ha @Trying2310 time on my hands is something I wish I had! Actually now you mention it though I think it's the opposite, I have very little time to enjoy shows, so the ones I do watch need to really appeal to me for it to feel worth spending my precious downtime on . I think as a teenager I would have enjoyed it a lot more. I loved watching Jackass as a teen with my brother.