Help! Covid has made me hate everybody :(

[candycane222]

I know IABU, but nayway...

At the start/peak of the epidemic I was, naturally, nervous around other people, even outdoors (I'm not young, and have a mild 'underlying condition'). Some of my neighbours are a bit noisy (not ridiclously so, and not for long at a time or late at night) and some of them have never shown much sign of social distancing etc and these seem to go together to has stress me out, even though I don't have to get particularly close to them (suburban street).

But now I can consciously feel myself thinking 'oh fuck off' when I hear anyone do - well anything much, really eg use a strimmer, or drive by in a noisy car. Or having a conversation on their front drive. Just generally make me aware of their existence I suppose! I am even starting to get annoyed by kids playing outside -ffs, I have always been please to hear that sound in the past, and was sad in the early days of Covid when their parents were keeping most of them in. And similarly when I am out for a walk in our pretty quiet nearby woods, I instinctively avoid people if I can by turning off paths even in I meant to go that way.

I mean this is semi lighthearted, but I can feel it getting worse and my anxiety levels starting to creep up if I have to go out anywhere, especially to shops etc, even though they are really quite quiet and well-managed round here.

Is anyone else feeling anything similar? How can I become more tolerant and accepting of my fellow humans, just getting on with their own lives the best they can?

Covid isn't going to go away - and neither are other people. Can anyone help me cope a bit better?

It’s hard! I have my own business and have worked from home for the last couple years. I’ve found it difficult to adapt to all the extra noise, and having the street full all of the time. I’m glad the initial phase of every neighbour jet washing their cars, gardens, anything that stood still long enough has stopped, and without sounding like a complete moaner the weather has been wet so my next door neighbour hasn’t been out with the radio on, which is loud and on allllllll day. I’ve been desperate for people to return to work, I feel like I need a break 😂

In terms of coping I usually have put some background noise on that I can tolerate. I’m terms of being out and about I’ve found it relatively ok as I live near the countryside.

I am exactly the same! I didn’t love people really before and my neighbours are nice but every sound from them now drives me round the bend! I avoid people on walks, find myself getting stressed and cross with people in shops. Have decided it’s better for my mental health to just focus on me and my immediate family but not sure how healthy that is?! I have also come off Facebook and Instagram as was spending too much time on it and getting too cross

I’m with you.
Neighbours both sides have regularly had people round since March, far more than before lockdown. One side the husband constantly whistles, in the most piercing manner, the other sides teenage son constantly plays loud (rubbish) music into the garden from his bedroom window, at the back their kids are always outside screaming, one of the others keeps drilling shit.
Quite frankly I’d happily piss off to a remote island. I’m not normally like this, I’m normally warm and friendly, That’s completely evaporated in the last month.

I also have got grumpier and less tolerant since all this started, I have had anxiety in the past but not health anxiety and I haven’t now, it’s more an anxiety that life won’t get back to normal for a long time. I’m less tolerant of others, I think my grumpiness has come out on a few of my posts on here so I feel a bit of a twat about that.

I’m peri menopausal so I’m sure that doesn’t help. I don’t know the answer. I have brought an exercise bike and am on the lookout for a treadmill since I can’t go to the gym, exercise helps as does getting outside somewhere eye friendly, beach, quiet park, river walk etc.
Mindfulness is supposed to be good. Sometimes I drift off to sleep listening to 8 hours of rainforest zen on the iPad, it’s very relaxing.
Try and stay away from junk food, I went down that path during lockdown and I felt sluggish and even more grumpy.

If your anxiety feels too much go to your GP, things aren’t going to improve for awhile and you don’t want to spiral.

I’ve been on and off antidepressants for about 20 years, I’m on a diet at the moment to lose a stone and then start them because I know I’m going to struggle in the winter months. I have to lose a stone before I start taking them because I always gain a stone taking them!

Being irritated by people doing everyday ordinary things and actively avoiding them can be a sign of depression so keep an eye on your feelings, maybe start a diary.

Oh wow, I'm not alone! I feel so much better hearing these responses! Really reflecting how I've been, and how I've turned form Mrs Smiley to 'sunglasses on, head down')

and thanks Llamzoom for nudging me to take it seriously and not just laugh it off. You're right! I am in fact on a low dose of ADs so I am kind of 'watching myself' and even considering upping the dose a bit (I'm prescribed more than I usually take so easy enough to do) Annoyingly my sinuses are not great at the moment which makes me lethargic and less inclined to exercise than usual - have been pondering a call to the GP as it might help to get out and about on my bike or similar.

I’ve turned into victor meldrew and like you j want to tell everyone to eff off, the slightest noise from neighbours irritates me I live in a block of four flats so there’s plenty of noise 😩 even the slightest thing like a neighbour putting their bin out gives me the rage! I’m quite happy for people to keep the hell away from me forever let alone 2 metre social distancing. Yeah I hate everyone now 😳 especially my upstairs neighbours they’ve always been arseholes 🙄

Haha yes Victor Meldrew! That's definitely me!

@candycane222 sorry I completely waffled on there! Definitely up them, it makes sense at the moment. We need an ongoing moaning thread on here. It helps to type it out.

Honestly Llama it was helpful, don't apologise. But yes, it part moany venting (I haven't been hurt personally or financially so am in fact vv lucky) but partly a genuine if non-critical concern re mental health, that it seems quite a few of us are suffering from. Not surprising, but not great either. And I do feel cheered and supported by finding my fellow Meldrews and listening to their wise words!

Me too. Every fucker stamping about, shouting their heads off, drilling things, banging things, revving their fucking motorbikes - it's too much. the people next door are naturally noisy - the man likes shouting (he's friendly but REALLY LOUD) down his phone and to neighbours and friends; when he goes out (after revving his very loud bike outside his, and my house, for ages) his partner likes to sit in the garden with the radio on ALL the FUCKING TIME.

He was telling me cheerily he was going to "finally sort the garden out soon", which actually, stupidly, makes me feel physically anxious. I know what he means: he does not mean he is going to think to himself "this weekend I am seriously going to get on top of the weeding" and potter around out there with a fork and a trowel. no. This means he is going to get some builder mates over; walk around shouting with them; get lots of beers in; they'll have a loud radio, and lots of machines; he is going to ask to take things through my side gate and go backwards and forwards, half naked (he and all his friends are going to wear very little and proudly strut about sticking their tummies out) ; he's going to rip out mature shrubs and trees and expose more of my space to him; hes going to find the loudest machines to do all this that he can, and then he's going to install some fucking stupid ugly tacky decking for rats to live under, and probably some abomination like a fucking hot tub and basically live in it and ruin my life.

So yeah. I feel you.

I'm a dick - I know all this is my problem. I just can't help it, damn I wish I could

I'm also a Meldrew. I didn't really like people before and struggled to cope with noise. Now I hate them all, especially one set of neighbours (lockdown breaking hypocrites) and don't like being in shops any more. The other day I wished some loud hipsters in a pub would stop laughing, which is ridiculous.

Oh my, you are making me laugh. My Extremely Nice ndn has spent weeks installing decking and is now busy drilling and hammering away at some kind of vertical outdoor shelving thingy aboit two storeys high. My DH grumble d rhw other day that he was 'the worst neighbour a man could have' given my regular reminders about the non-existent patio i was promised 15 years ago, but at least my dh's hobby of looking at his phone is mercifully silent!

But oh God the revving! Why is it a sign of some kind if manky status to demonstrate to the entire street that you have a hole in your exhaust (well, why else would it sound like that.??)

Sorely tempted to say "still not fixed that exhaust then?" but of course that would mean interacting...

MANLY status. Manky might be preferable though, as long as it was discreet.

Interesting that people do feel noise levels have gone up though: I was actually attributing it all to my increased sensitivity/misanthropy ie thinking it was just me minding more,, so hearing others point out the obvious fact that more men with time on their hands and access to bangy and buzzy things will actually mean more noise, is oddly comforting.

I find neighbour noise very difficult to deal with. Our neighbour speaks a language that I don’t understand so to me it feels intrusive. If I could understand them I’d probably have a good listen to what they were talking about!

I could have written every single part of this post OP.
Ive come off social media, didn't really use Facebook but Twitter winds me up like a toy. Ive left the pointless WhatsApp groups Im in and I'm thinking of getting some noise cancelling headphones. I also spend as much time as possible alone. I haven't bothered doing "checking in" texts and calls with friends and family for about a month to six weeks now and guess what no one has contacted me either.
I could quite happily spend a lot of time on my own in complete silence now.

I have also given up on the checking in texts and thought I would let someone check on me for once - they haven’t! I’m not bitter about it, I’m actually quite a happy person but the last few months has really made me see the best and the worst in people and I always think if people don’t bother with you during bad times why bother in the good times.

Me too. I was at school part time during lockdown but am now off for Summer.
This week we have had:
2 shreiky laughy garden parties with a woman who laughs honk honk honk like a distressed goose.
Neighbours singing spice girls songs at one am outside.
A puppy literally howling for a whole afternoon 2 doors down (i uncharitably hope the owners came home to a pooey wet house).
A small child playing in the street with a LOUD horn over and over while his mother weakly says be quiet darling.
Builders building what looks like the Berlin wall opposite us from 8 am to 4pm.
I hate my neighbours.
I feel like going into school for a nice quiet nap in the empty staff room.

Another Meldrew here.
I actually have nice neighbours bit we are in a built up area so noise affects all of us. My NDN was having a drink with a friend in her back garden the other evening at about 9pm. She then proceeds to play That's Amore on her phone v loudly. I'm sorry to say I asked her to turn it down as DS was in bed (hot weather = windows open). I feel awful now as she was so apologetic.

This has cheered me up! Glad to know I'm not the only one. I think I was trying very hard to be upbeat and cheerily positive at first but now I've just run out of steam and want everything to go back to normal. I'm sick of never having the house to myself, DH and me still working from home, kids here all the time. Can't sit in peace in garden because neighbours on both sides with yappy dogs and noisy kids. Too many rules to enjoy a relaxing coffee or go shopping. No interest in meeting up with friends because that's just more people!! I want to go and be a hermit up a mountain somewhere.

That's part of it, isn't it Malloo, the fact it's gone on so long. I was priding myself on coping relatively well and might have felt a bit unsympathetic to people moaning earlier on but now I have definitely hit my wall

I have actually got mountains on my doorstep, but I can't go and hermit up them because too many people from out of the area are parking their cars everywhere and blocking the lanes.

I was just saying to DH that I hate how this has made me feel - I love people, I usually travel very extensively for work and am constantly in situations where I'm around people and noise and now... I just don't want to be near anyone.
I think this is going to affect us for such a long time.

Had the same conversation here. Saw a news report this morning on litter in the Peak District national park which we live quite close to. There were about 20 people in the background and I said "Well I'm not going there, it's too busy". It's just so sad that I don't want to be around people, I just want some solitude. Our neighbours play saxophones, talk loudly on phones in the garden (I know way too many personal details than I should), rev cars. I feel like the only peace I get is when I'm asleep.

everybodysang I fear you are right