Want to end a friendship

[EvePolastri938]

I feel very guilty about it but I can't take it anymore. There has been too much over the years, she's selfish, she's already broken my trust, she's done so many things, and I don't get anything out of it.

She lives in another country so fortunately I don't see her really anyway.

She messages me just to talk about herself constantly anyway, i've just been on holiday which she didn't give a toss about, her main priority was texting me several times to ask whether her crushes 'guilt' is justified ?!

I just told her straight, I don't have the answer, and she's still carrying on with it.

I'm still bitter about all the horrible stuff she's done, she's apologised for some but clearly hasn't changed as a person.

People seem to rave about her and how cool she is and I feel like i'm the only one seeing this side.

I know i'm ranting on and on now but I can't take anymore.

Should I just fade or be straight and tell her why ?

She's never or very rarely got anything positive to say to me/about me, she called me loads of names to our friend behind my back when we went on holiday, didn't come to my party because she was 'going to the gym' which she does every day, implied i'm boring, talks about me loads behind my back, has let me pay for a lot of stuff, had a strop because I didn't do an all-nighter when I had a flight at 6am, so so many things, this is just the start, I feel sorry for her because she's clearly unhappy but I really don't like her because of all she's done to me.

The day I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago she banned me from discussing it the same day, when I really needed the support, saying we had talked about it enough, yet we have been talking about some fucking guy who's not interested for a whole year now !

She sounds awful, just ghost her. If you tell her she'll never accept it, I bet she'd just get defensive and then you'll feel even more shit explaining it all.
Don't return her calls is my advice.

I should do, we only talk by text really, I hate her but pity her at the same time, she's clearly unhappy and insecure.

She's going after a guy who's in a long-term relationship and says she 'doesn't give a shit' about his girlfriend.
She's so horrible, but when I try to tell her straight about it she sends me 6 paragraphs about why she won't give up with him, and that I 'need to support her'.

My ex left me for someone/cheated and she was so dismissive about it and is confident he wouldn't do it to her !

Hi OP. Firstly I'm so sorry you're having a shitty time at the minute - your "friend" sounds bloody awful!

Contrary to @GetOffYourHighHorse's advice, I would not personally recommend ghosting her as she appears to be so self-absorbed that she won't take the hint!

You need to tell her directly, whether it is by phone, text, email or however, and tell her that you no longer see this friendship working because she is such a knob, and then say you won't be in contact etc. Then block her!!

She sounds hardwork and high maintenance. I'm all for supporting friends going through a tough time obviously, but this sounds horribly one sided. If you feel awkward ghosting her just do it gradually.

I feel sick every day now because of her and I keep replaying the stuff in my head over and over that she's done. I don't trust her, they would probably message my boyfriend or something for revenge, i've tried to talk but i'm sick of her 20-page defensive essays where she tries to justify herself.

That's what I mean, she won't listen or take anything on board it's about you now, self preservation. Its great that she's in a different country! Just block on all sm and ignore

You don’t need her in your life any more, particularly given how she makes you feel.
I’d just cut her off. Block her and move on.
If you text to explain she’ll probably give you more grief back.

Good luck OP.

Ghost, block and only surround yourself with good people from now on. I had a friend like this - nightmare.

Thank you, she just makes me really unhappy but she seems to have other friends which makes me think i'm overreacting. That said, her best mate is pretty horrible and has been to me recently so I guess that's the company she keeps.

she lives in another country just block her what can she do

Blimey OP! She certainly doesn't sound remotely like a friend. If a 'friend' of mine did even half of what yours has done,I seriously think I would 'fade' the relationship. As a previous poster said,if you explain,she'll probably just give you more grief.

It's just because we have mutual friends and she knows my boyfriend, I can't trust her she would probably try to get them on her side as revenge or something she's so selfish and horrible.

Anything you say to her in a message will be shared with others, and then you'll have that to worry about too.

I'm not generally in favour of ghosting, but I think it's the only way for someone like her.

Exactly, I know for a fact it will be screenshotted over to that best mate of here for a start, they have already bitched about me and she has even bitched about this best mate to me !

Surely your bf would stick up for you if he received any messages from her though? How often do you see her? Id just gradually start replying less to messages.

He would, i'm worried she might just try and get friendly with him or something, I haven't seen her in 1.5 years. I'm trying to do that, i've not replied to the last one as there was nothing to reply to, and i've deleted her number now.

Whoa!
back away from the gin

I don't drink, it's just all gotten to me tonight, I know i'm coming across a bit hysterical, just feeling really fed up