To want to travel/move abroad with children

[moretolifethanthis2020]

NC for this but something has happened in my personal life that has made me realise life is SO short. Too short to be stuck in the same small town that I grew up in. We have nice holidays every year but it's not enough. Seeing the UK turn into the shit-show it currently is has also made me re-consider my options.

We are considering planning to leave the UK. We have 3 children. If we do it, we would do it when one would be about to go to sixth form and the other 2 (twins) would be about to start high school. So almost a natural break as they'd be swapping schools anyway. We could put them in an international school or the local high school (depending which country we go to). We have the finances to do it and I have a transferrable career.

My mum is having a fit about it, saying how selfish it is, how I will regret it, her and my dad will be heartbroken.

From high school, very few people I know still live locally . Many people move all round the UK for careers and jobs and some abroad.

AIBU to also want to be a person who does this? I crave to see what else is out there

Whilst your parents are well within their rights to be upset, heartbroken even, they should not be trying to guilt you into staying! If I had the funds to leave, I would seriously consider it.

Which countries are on your potential list?

I think as hard as it is for your parents, life is short and you need to do what makes you happy. But at the same time, Skype isn't the same as seeing people face to face, as many have learned during lockdown.

The other thing you need to prepare for is your children may not settle there. A friend came back to the UK with similar age children and they have all settled elsewhere, one in the US (where they were) and the other in Australia.

Are the children happy about the potential move?

What do your children think?

@Dollyrocket
Thank you! We are looking are Norway/Sweden/Scandinavian countries. We also love Holland and randomly the IOM.

The children are the priority. It is very important that they are absolutely on board. The pre-sixth form child will be very hooked on peer relationships and might find it hard. Do not underestimate how hard.

Suffice to say a friend did this and the fallout for the children was damaging and lifelong.

Sorry to be a wet blanket, but it is important to take on board that it could all go either way. Also, do not forget that when the children leave home you will not be in your dotage and can branch out then if needs be.

I am sorry you are getting guilt from your parents, hard though it is for them.

Go and love your life. Sounds fabulous and very exciting.

The children don't seem phased when we've mentioned it.

Go for it! You’re right-life is too short and you’ll regret not giving it a go.

Living abroad was one of the best, most enriching experiences we went through & I’d love to do it again!

Go for it, you only live once! Tbh, if you have the finances you could live in better conditions elsewhere in the world rather than rotting away in a degenerate shit hole society! Your children will get a better education, live among civilised human beings and get to speak a second language depending on where you move.

DH and I discussed last night about this and considering moving in the next 5 years fingers crossed.

Won't you need a visa? Especially post brexit? I don't think you can just move anywhere you want.

Finland is excellent, Helsinki is one of my favourite cities. It is very different though, the people are very reserved (until they’ve had a drink and headed to the karaoke bar - which they love!)